i once forgot i had a talk until a few minutes before. i went to the bathroom and stayed. i could hear me being introduced, the commotion when no one could find me, and then someone coming into the bathroom and asking for me! i told them i was sick and when they left, i left the kingdom hall! and they still gave me talks!!!
TMS
by loosie 27 Replies latest jw experiences
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Krystal
Next time you have a part do the following:
1) go on stage looking like u just woke up
2) stand up there and look down over the audience for a good 30-40 sec before starting
3) use one really silly illustration that is deep/mythological and has NOTHING to do with the material
4) use loud obnoxious gestures and over-act VOLUME AND P A U S I N G!!
5) Make sure you go a good 3-4 minutes overtime despite the timer going off or the School Overseer repeatdly tapping his pen on the desk
One guy actually did all of those things in the cong I was in when I was about 12... it was a long long long time before he ever had a part again.
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Flindersgirl
I NEVER KNEW THIS!!! I never knew people got out of giving talks this way!!!! Sheesh was i ever a gullible gallah...
I remember once I was given a talk during a joint visit of the CoDo..(circuit overseer and district overseer I say it as its spelt ). I was flipping terrified...(funny that I can now lecture to 200 students without notes....but this is FUN). I was practically praying to be struck down by the Black Plague rather than give the damn thing but it never occured to me to try and get out of it. (like I said....DUH!) So anyway I get up on stage just shaking I was in my mid twenties and give the bloody thing only to be told by the cong.overseer after the meeting that I was too close to the mike and I sounded like Darth Vader!!! That is what he said!!! In fromt of others...(a**hole).
Anyway...this particular elder was "de-elderified" a few years later for running off with one of his BIBLE STUDIES!!!! Got her pregnant and shacked up with her...last I heard he was trying to get back into the Borg OOoo and funnily enough I ran into him in my local grocery store just after I finished my undergrad degree in Canada and he was ignoring me in the line up...it was Xmas time and I just lit into him. I had said hello you see thinking he was out of the "truth" and maybe needed to see a friendly face and he turned to me and said "I am working to be reinstated and will not speak to you" loudly in line. So I informed him and the entire Safeway what a hypocrite I thought he was and why, referencing specifically the behaviour that got him DF'd in the first place. I was pretty mad. If I remember I ended the conversation by saying that although he could fool everyone in the congregation with fake repentence he couldn't fool most people and that he an example of everything that was wrong with the faith. He was PURPLE. It was a great moment:)
Cheers
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snakeizz
The talks stopped coming when I stopped going!
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kwintestal
There's a few ways I've seen people get out of the TMS talks. Personally, I just kept calling and cancelling then stopped calling and just didn't show up. After a year of that (5 or 6 talks) I was taken off the list.
I've seen people push their own adjenda from the platform, especially a guy who had just been deleted as an elder and felt his family was being harrassed by the other elders. He did this by his talks and his comments. At first the TMSO who was a good friend and a sypmathiser ignored the comments, but then the TMSO was deleted too, and the first guy lost the "privledge" to comment, as well as to be on the TMS.
I saw one guy studder and stammer for a good minute and say "I can't do this" and leave the platform. He didn't give a talk after that. Personal choice though, however the TMSO was put on the spot because he hadn't prepared and didn't know the info in the Reasoning book that he now had to give the talk on. It was funny.
Kwin
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rebel8
This thread is funny!
I remember one guy who started out the talk on the right topic, but immediately switched it to a talk about music...not the jw stance on music, just music in general. He spoke in a voice so loud they had to turn down the mikes. He went on for about 2x as long as his allotted time and kept talking even when the elder took him by the arm to escort him off stage. He ended up leaving in the middle of a sentence. That was his last meeting. At the time, I thought he was doing it to piss off everyone in the audience. It was hilarious. (He had been the dj for a dub wedding right before that and refused to turn the volume down or comply with the approved music list, despite the elders' repeated complaints to him. The elder finally unplugged the equipment. Again, hilarious!)
Over a year after I told the elders I would never come to a meeting again, they sent me a notice that I had a talk, saying I had to do it. My mother said I had to come in and personally tell the elders I wouldn't do the talk or they would keep me on the schedule. She said I would be embarassed to find out they announced my name for a talk and I didn't show up. I said too bad--their stupid problem if they try to get non-members to give talks!
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tetrapod.sapien
heh heh,
when i was a pioneer, i got out of talks by saying i was depressed, and might spread the depression around the hall. then, eventually, i called my school overseer from a noisy street side payphone one night late and said that i would be "taking a leave of absence from the school."
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Honesty
The talks stopped coming when I stopped going!
It worked for me, too. I would gladly give a 'talk' now... on the spiritual death a person involved with the WTBTS is being subjected to by the JW false religion.