a few ?'s

carla

May I ask a few questions? I'm sure some have already been asked, and some are not meant to be hurtful, I just don't understand. Backround- I am not jw, in fact quite anti jw, husband has been studying for about two years, not baptized, not field service, I know doctine quite well, flipflops, UN, new 1914, etc........

Do any of you feel 'guilty' for getting someone 'in'? (in my case, when they came, they asked if husband "couldn't get out of the house without the wife knowing". Now if that is not a red flag what is ?

If you didn't have any friends or family 'in', what would keep you? fear of the big A?

He claims jw's do not think of the rest of us a 'birdseed' ( I realize that is an old term) or that the rest of us are not 'worthy' of death, but literature says otherwise, what is current thought on us 'worldly' people? Even your own children?

If it is the truth, why such fear at looking at anything not sactioned by the wt? The Bereans were comended for 'searching', etc..

Why would any active jw be on this board? Isn't that a big no-no?

Thanks for your thoughts ahead of time. Carla

Euphemism

He claims jw's do not think of the rest of us a 'birdseed' ( I realize that is an old term) or that the rest of us are not 'worthy' of death, but literature says otherwise, what is current thought on us 'worldly' people? Even your own children?

Honestly, he's right. Most JWs I know are decent people, and they don't relish the thought of their workmates and neighbors--let alone their own children--dying at Armageddon.

They still believe that's what's going to happen, though.

keeshah

Hi, Carla!

I know you... it's me... Diana from Randy/Tishies board! Fancy seeing you over here!

I realize that you are looking for answers from people that are still in or freshly out, but I didn't want to high-jack your thread with my, "I KNOW YOU!" excitement, so I'll do my best at answering your questions...

Do any of you feel 'guilty' for getting someone 'in'? (in my case, when they came, they asked if husband "couldn't get out of the house without the wife knowing". Now if that is not a red flag what is ?

I never brought anyone "in". Most people haven't. Yes, I would feel guilty now if I had. Then... no.

If you didn't have any friends or family 'in', what would keep you? fear of the big A?

Nothing. I would have left. I did leave, but it was very painful. My mother is the only on in (thank goodness).

He claims jw's do not think of the rest of us a 'birdseed' ( I realize that is an old term) or that the rest of us are not 'worthy' of death, but literature says otherwise, what is current thought on us 'worldly' people? Even your own children?

I don't know what is current, but knowing them, we are still birdseed.

If it is the truth, why such fear at looking at anything not sactioned by the wt?

It's called "mind control". They say, "don't look"... they don't look.

Not very insightful, sorry. Bye! See you over at the little pond!

Will Power

Hi (((Carla)))

Sounds like we are in the same boat. I am female, non-JW. My ride started Christmas 1999. Not sure I can be of any help. My situation is a bit of a shambles. I'm the walking "what not to do"

I do know that he was unhappy before the love-bombing - so this all fed the ego and became his reason for living. Very sad. It is impossible to work on a marriage with a 3rd party wedged in your life....in your bed.

The more I tried to hang on & educate the further he ran, the deeper he cloaked. The worst thing I did was learn more about the witness organization - and the best thing was to learn as much as I could. I put my life on hold to protect my kids.

Days go by and life seems normal and that it could work, but as soon as anything comes up that is interesting, controversial, thought provoking, whatever....there is usually trouble. Any critical conversation about brooklyn, WT is considered a slag on God and a personal attack.

Sad. The WT has built a fortress of human shields to protect itself, ready to lie, cheat truth, and suck the life right out of people & families that get in its way.

PM me if you like.

carla

Hi Keeshah, yep, it's me. I didn't know the protocol on names used. Do you use the same one or what? I am hotglass on network 54. Things are just really crappy lately. And I still can't comprehend how he could go for any of this. I just started posting here this weekend. But, have been looking here for awhile. This site is like information overload! thanks to everyone for comments, carla

jgnat

Yeah, listen to Will Power. She knows what she is talking about. I am also a non-JW married to a Witness. I don't talk much about my fears with my husband, because it invariably puts him on the defensive. You might say I managed this "third person" in my marriage mostly right. I did not make many early mistakes. As a result, the communication lines are open between me and my husband. Nevertheless, the results are the same. My hubby is still firmly "in". He still eagerly seeks after the next measly priveledge the society may offer. I tell him he will likely be eighty before they let him handle a mike.

I would use the "can't beat 'em" approach, without the "join-em" approach. Be outwardly supportive of your husband's ambitions. He must be seeking after baptism. Be sure you are at the meeting when he gets baptized. I agree with you that this particular wedge (sneaking around) is reprehensible. I would call him on it. Tell him no more sneaking around.

He is supposed to be patient and loving, even though you have different beliefs. Get the Secret to Family Happiness book. Read up on what his obligations towards you are.

Of course, the society advises this approach because they assume you will eventually join. Just sweetly refuse to.

doinmypart

Do any of you feel 'guilty' for getting someone 'in'?

Yes I feel bad/guilty. I only brought two in by means of "study", but I probably encouraged young ones to stay in and do more by the example I set. We had a nice clique of young brothers trying to be model JWs. If anyone stepped out of line we'd "encourage" them to fall back in line.

If you didn't have any friends or family 'in', what would keep you? fear of the big A?

I'm in because of family, otherwise I'd be out. Not worried about the WT's Armageddon.

what is current thought on us 'worldly' people? Even your own children?

The current teaching is that people that lived hundreds of years ago and were not JWs will be resurrected, and many today will take a stand for truth...everyone else will be killed. If children have at least one parent doing Jehovah's will, they will live.

If it is the truth, why such fear at looking at anything not sactioned by the wt?

It isn't truth, that is why the WTS doesn't want members on these type of boards.

Why would any active jw be on this board? Isn't that a big no-no?

Some active JWs are inquisitive, some have doubts, a number of reasons. Yes visiting these boards is prohibited.

keeshah

Hi Keeshah, yep, it's me. I didn't know the protocol on names used. Do you use the same one or what? I am hotglass on network 54. Things are just really crappy lately. And I still can't comprehend how he could go for any of this. I just started posting here this weekend. But, have been looking here for awhile. This site is like information overload! thanks to everyone for comments, carla

I use the same one to sign in over there. But when the post page comes up I change it to "diana". Have you noticed how you can change your name from post to post?

Yeah, this is information overload on this site. TONS more people and if you have a question... they have an answer. Also a lot of people here that are actively trying to make a difference and expose the WBTS for what it is. I'm not trying to put the other board down, it's just that most of us have been out so long we have "let go" of a lot of issues... maybe even hardened. You will learn a lot here (I'm addicted), but don't forget us on the other board, k?

kls

Hi Carla, thank goodness i never recruited anyone in the cult ,i guess because i had a hard time believing in the BS they were spewing. I think i got burptised in the hopes that i would feel better and understand more , like some great knowledge would open my mind and i would see what or jws could see but that never happened. After i told my husband that i no longer wanted to be a part of the cult ,i could see and feel the hate in him that he had for me , i became what the BS tower told it's flock to watch for and despise.It has been many hard long years and knowing that his life is worth saving more then mine because i am an Apostate hurts down to the very part of my soul.

Yes Carla ,a jw and a nonbeliever can still be married but that is , a word Married . How can one love another when one is following an evil empire and the non believer is actually a walking corpse.

a few ?'s

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