The day of death is better than the day of one being born...

El Kabong

"A good name is better than oil, and the day of death is better than the day of one being born.."

I remember that scripture from the book of Ecclesiasties (sp?...it's been a long time).

I attended the funeral of my friend today, and that scripture came to mind. I've been dealing with several people in my life dying in the past year. First it was my Daughers friend's Mother (who was a beautiful person), then, my own dear Mother had a stroke early last year and passed away last August. Then, my Uncle last December, My "Godfather" this past February, and now, my friend and co-worker who passed last week.

As I stated above, the funeral for my friend was today. It was hard to attend. He was a young man of 57 and Cancer took him.

Even though, the Priest did not quote that scripture, the words from that scripture came to me. I think I had this passage as a Talk #2 Bible reading a long time ago. I haven't thought of this scripture in a long time, but the words came flooding back to me. From Memory, I believe it went something like this...

A Good Name is better than Oil, and the day of Death is better than the day of one being born. Better is it to go to the house of Mourning, than the house of feasting.......That's all I remember.

My question is....Why? Is it because the house of mourning is a reminder of our own mortality?

Can anybody help explain this to me? I'm just so tired of hearing about people dying. I know you cannot escape it, but...I'm just tired of it. It is so emotionally draining.

EvilForce

It's because you can look at their life and see (judge) for yourself what a good (or evil) person he/she was.

But enough tongue in cheek. Think about it.... at life's end (unless cut horrifically short) the person has undergone plenty of shite. How they related to this shite is an example to how they lived their life. I never understood appointing elders at 27, 28, 29, or 30 as ELDERS? I mean really how many people have been "tested" by then. Only under extreme duress sometimes do we show our colors as humans. I think of an elder as someone who is 45, 50 or 55 really. They have been there, done that, been stomped down by that. But in Jo Ho land it is only those people that toe the party line. Makes me want to puke.

JW83

I think that it is because it makes you realise how precious life is, and how we are here for such a short time. When you think about that for yourself (rather than for someone else, which is horrible), it can make you question how you are living your life and whether you are getting the most out of it.

Narkissos

Just to get the general gist of it:

Ecclesiastes 4:1ff gives the general tone

Again I saw all the oppressions that are practiced under the sun. Look, the tears of the oppressed--with no one to comfort them! On the side of their oppressors there was power--with no one to comfort them. And I thought the dead, who have already died, more fortunate than the living, who are still alive; but better than both is the one who has not yet been, and has not seen the evil deeds that are done under the sun.

And the context of chapter 7 echoes it in different ways

A good name is better than precious ointment,
and the day of death, than the day of birth.

It is better to go to the house of mourning
than to go to the house of feasting;
for this is the end of everyone,
and the living will lay it to heart.

Sorrow is better than laughter,
for by sadness of countenance the heart is made glad.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.

It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise
than to hear the song of fools.

For like the crackling of thorns under a pot,
so is the laughter of fools;
this also is vanity.

Surely oppression makes the wise foolish,
and a bribe corrupts the heart.

Better is the end of a thing than its beginning;
the patient in spirit are better than the proud in spirit.

Do not be quick to anger,
for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.

Do not say, "Why were the former days better than these?"
For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.

Wisdom is as good as an inheritance,
an advantage to those who see the sun.

For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money,
and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom gives life to the one who possesses it.

Consider the work of God;
who can make straight what he has made crooked?

In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider; God has made the one as well as the other, so that mortals may not find out anything that will come after them.

tetrapod.sapien

my condolences. it sounds like you have had a bunch of pain your life recently.

I think that it is because it makes you realise how precious life is, and how we are here for such a short time. When you think about that for yourself (rather than for someone else, which is horrible), it can make you question how you are living your life and whether you are getting the most out of it.

i like this concept. but i think when we take the scripture logically, it does not impress me as very thoughtful, IMHO. how can the day of death be better than the day of birth? i understnad that life is much suffering. but there is still much awe and warmth to be had, obviously.

Is it because the house of mourning is a reminder of our own mortality?

again, i don't think that the house of mourning is better than feasting. it is, of course, healthy to be reminded of our own mortality. but we should not go on in dread of it, or constantly thinking of it. i used to think of this scripture as comforting when i held the same belief system as Solomon. but he has faith that there is a ressurection. in this context, the scripture is comforting to a degree. but, if you doubt like some do, then a scripture like that may even increase the pain of loss.

LongHairGal

I remember this scripture. I don't necessarily disagree with it because I agree we are all dust and at the end of your life you can see what you have accomplished, etc. whereas when you are a newborn you are a blank slate.

But the problem I have is how they used to quote it frequently. The reasons I can see is to discourage anybody from thinking about celebrating their birthday and also to instill guilt. They were definitely hooked on performing works. They were always trying to demean us and make us feel like we weren't doing enough. You were supposed to have a treadmill mentality of constantly striving to do more. Contributing to the "I can never be worthy to be saved" mentality.

zen nudist

My question is....Why? Is it because the house of mourning is a reminder of our own mortality?

Can anybody help explain this to me? I'm just so tired of hearing about people dying. I know you cannot escape it, but...I'm just tired of it. It is so emotionally draining.

its this backwards inside out way of looking at life which allows religions to ensnare their hapless prey...

there is no meaning OF life but only meaning found by the living.... what is the value of your life to you after its over? if your death is the finale, then the ending of it means only something to those left behind, not you.

but they want you to look at your life as if you were dead but still around to judge yourself.... for what purpose? only to serve them, not you.

meaning is what you find as you live your life.

LongHairGal

Zen Nudist:

I never heard it put quite that way: they want you to act as though you are dead but still around to judge yourself! What awful psychology! But so true.

LongHairGal

Well, I didn't say it exactly as you said it but close!

The point is - they want total self sacrifice on our part. They want you to give up your life for them. They are looking for serfs to serve them. They have set themselves over us to be served.

I can't believe that a compassionate god really wants this. For us to squander our life like the sand in an hourglass and look forward to some hereafter - even if the hereafter is supposed to be on earth. I can't stand this mindset. Squander your short life now because this is not the REAL life, ad nauseum. I have a real problem with this belief!

In this regard they differ very little from other christian religions who believe everybody is going to heaven.

El Kabong

I would like to thank you all for your comments. I do appreciate the insight of all those who responded.

I have been dealing with the loss of several people this past year. I try not let it get me down. I try to think of how each of these people have touched my life, and other lives while they were here among us.

Believe it or not, there is a song that actually helps me deal with the loss. Some of you may think it's silly, but here goes.....

Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say.
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a whistle!
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...

...always look on the bright side of life!
(whistle)

Always look on the bright side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten!
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,

When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps,
Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing!
And... always look on the bright side of life...

(whistle)
Come on!

Always look on the bright side of life...
(whistle)

For life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow!
Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin,
Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!

So always look on the bright side of death!
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
Life's a piece of sh*t,
When you look at it.

Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true,
You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you!

And always look on the bright side of life...
whistle
Always look on the bright side of life
(whistle)

The day of death is better than the day of one being born...

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