All that you can't leave behind

Fleur

That was the title of a fabulous U2 cd, but I borrow it here to ask you all, old friends, a question.

First, apologies for being absent for so long. "Real life" projects have cut into my online time, been so busy I haven't had time to turn around twice. But you are in my thoughts, daily.

My question for pondering...how do you know what to keep and what to throw away?

I was cleaning and I found a bunch of things I didn't even know I still had, probably been in boxes seven years since I last moved...and what I saw made me feel so sick. Pictures from my first wedding (aside from the ones I put aside for my child, in case she wants them someday) pictures of me at assemblies, my old bible, my old OM book. Tons of paper things...reminders, all of a life I left and no longer have any use for or fondness to look back upon.

Should I just haul it all out into the trash and not look back again or do you think I should carefully ponder before I trash?

I just feel like the time has come to really be free of so many things from the old life; that woman is dead, she doesn't exist anymore. Why should I let her old baggage take up room in my house, when I am happy, at peace (most of the time, anyway) and living a much better life now?

It's funny, I have a strong attachment to things from my young childhood, the few I have, and for things from the past seven years of my life. But the years between about 4 and 25...anything that belonged to me then, I have no attachment to anymore. It's like souvineers from a trip to hell, why would you want them?

Your thoughts?

thanks and hugs to you all,

essie

Carmel

I wouldn't! Time to hit the curb side recycling bin!

carmel

upside/down

I did the same thing when I became a Dub... school yearbooks, photos etc.

I kinda regret it now... but not too much... I'm not a terribly sentimental kind of person...

I prefer relying on the memories in my head...

I recommend sorting out all the crap (WTS stuff) and keeping pictures etc. After all I have pictures of us in the 80's and we look rediculous and it brings back some wierd and ackward feelings... but it's just memories. As long as they aren't nightmare memories... be careful. Once they're gone they're gone...

Remember too that history isn't a bad thing... we learn from it... focus on what you learned... it'll keep you from ever succumbing to high-control cults ever again... your kids too perhaps!

u/d (of the 2 cents class)

GetBusyLiving

I had to move this weekend and I came across some old notes I had taken at a district convention a few years ago. IT WAS SURREAL. I couldn't even believe the stuff I had written down! The funniest thing was that I never even believed in the material I was copying down for over ten years but still, there I was, droning away copying that junk down like a good little robot. All I can see in the notes now are scriptures taken out of context to further the goals of the Org.

It would be fun to sit through an afternoon at a district assembly this year with a few beers and just soak in all of that brainwashing, in morbid facination at how I wasted years of my life in that stuff.

GBL

LongHairGal

Fleur:

I know what you are going through. Be careful what you throw away because you can't get it back. As far as literature is concerned, I would get rid of it unless you want to hold on to a bible or two and maybe the bible stories book (nice pix).

As far as personal souvenirs are concerned, such as pictures, I would keep them unless they triggered a depressing psychotic episode. Then I would stash it away. Pictures (with me in them) represent experiences in my life so I am not so keen on throwing them away. Don't throw anything away when you are in an emotional state - only if you are thinking clearly. For example, if there is a death in your family there will be some things you will want to keep of that person and other things you just can't look at.

But I understand what you mean about how you are a different person now compared to then.

Mulan

I can relate to what you are going through.

I find it very hard to get rid of any pictures, so I seldom do, unless I have copies or similar ones somewhere. I am overly sentimental about family history so tend to save a lot.

Most of the old WT publications are long gone. I have a few valuable books (Pastor Russel's original studies in the scriptures, and a few others that had been my stepfather's parents' books) and I won't part with those because they were his and I loved him. Some others are still good for research so we've kept just a few. We have one copy of each Bible translation, but got rid of the duplicates years ago. Assembly notes went in the trash. Some of the older books I sold on ebay and made some good money. They meant nothing to me.

Clothes are not a problem. I heard once that "if you haven't worn it in the last two years, get rid of it............if you are trying to lose weight to fit back into it, get rid of it anyway. When you lose weight, you won't want it".

Before 1975, we moved to a much smaller house, and I got rid of most of my kids' school papers...........not all, so I have some mementos of those days. I regret it though. I want all of them back.

My suggestion is to get a big box, maybe one of those neat decorative small trunks you see everywhere these days, and use it for those things. I got one for my birthday last year, and it matches my bedroom, so it just sits there. I was looking at it the other day and realized that was the perfect use for that trunk. If you fill it up, get another one, and store them in a closet somewhere. When you are old you will be so glad you have those things. Be sure your daughter knows about it and values it too. It's her legacy.

I have so many things like that from my grandparents and even my great grandparents. I consider selling them (some are really old, and quite valuable) for about a half a second, and then can't do it. They are my heritage, my history, their legacy to me.

wanderlustguy

If you are hesitant, what's wrong with keeping things until you are really ready?

Mulan

Fleur, I sent you a PM
Marilyn

JamesThomas

All we really have to give, is our attention. The more you give attention to the present moment, as you are doing, the less reason and need to step into the past. The present moment is vibrant, alive, and real. What is the past? Does it strengthen your communion with Life, right now?

As far as your items, I would suggest you take the time to sit and hold each peace you are concerned with. Shift attention out of the mind and memories, and silently give attention to the body and sense what it is saying. If there is tension in the muscles and tummy with an object, then I suggest it may be best for this item to leave. If there is a sense of lightness and sweetness in the body then, by all means keep this item around, for at least a time. If the feelings and senses are neutral, then usually simplification and letting go of stuff is almost always the best bet.

Our bodies contain silent wisdoms that are often overlooked and ignored as attention is given overwhelmingly to the mind. The key is to be gentle and kind to you. If items support that, then keep them....anything else, sayonara.

On a deeper note: our material stuff is generally a reflection of who we believe ourselves to be. The garage and the mind is full of stuff that supports a fragmented and separate entity which needs and desires so very much to acquire -- at least for a moment -- some sense of completeness. When there is inner investigation, and there is a cleaning house, a subtraction of everything we believe ourselves to be, when everything that can be taken away is taken away....there I AM!: Complete, already.

j

trevor

Fleur

One of the exercises used in psychotherapy is to ask the client to imagine they are in an attic among all the things from their past. They are encouraged to look for and examine items and decide which need to be thrown away.

It could be that your interest in sorting out things from the past indicate that you are ready to move on in life. Sorting carefully through your possessions and deciding which to keep and which to throw out could be therapeutic.

When you do this the advice from James Thomas is worth following.

All that you can't leave behind

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