The 1000 Year Stupid Doctrine

by Nosferatu 16 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    To me, the 1000 years that JWs promise after Armageddon is a really dumb doctrine. Basically, everyone who cacked before Armageddon is going to be resurrected, and everyone on earth is going to grow perfect during these 1000 years. Then, bastard Jehovah is going to let Satan loose for "a little while" to basically clean out any evil that is on the earth.

    So, what's the point of Paradise Erf? It really sounds like things are going to return to their former, and the Earth is going to become a shithole again if Satan is going to clean out the earth again. He's apparently already doing that so Jehovah can determine people's heart conditions.

    So, what's the point of Armageddon? What's that going to prove if things are just going to return to their shitty conditions?

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool
    He's apparently already doing that so Jehovah can determine people's heart conditions.

    Supposedly he can do that anyway, so why go through all the crap? Just so people can suffer?

    Nice.

    Walter

  • Qcmbr
    Qcmbr

    maybe Satan will be bound because only good people will be left who acknowlefge Jesus as Lord, then maybe at the end of the millenium people will begin to rebel - ergo Satan is loosed.

  • GetBusyLiving
    GetBusyLiving

    :maybe Satan will be bound because only good people will be left who acknowlefge Jesus as Lord

    Or maybe Satan, Jesus and Jehovah are only make believe. As crazy as that sounds.

    GBL

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool
    Or maybe Satan, Jesus and Jehovah are only make believe.

    Hmmm, they sound kind of like a trinity here. Maybe their all in cahoots and just playing games with us. Kinda like kids with ants and magnifying glasses.

    Walter

  • Jez
    Jez

    and does it not seem better to rid the earth of Satans influence NOW and see how humanity gets on without having to kill off billions of ppl? Who knows what humanity would be like or capable of without his influence over things? I dn't think God is this unfair.

    Plus, you are right, the bible does not say how long Satan will be allowed to remain out of the abyss, so the earth could very well return to exactly how it is now, and the same ol same ol will start again and ppl will be on the internet talking about it all, again.

    That is why you must live NOW, this is our time on this earth, so use it well.

    Jez

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    Nosferatu:

    This one of the reasons their paradise sounded like a nightmare to me. You had to watch yourself every step of the way (you know, you might be struck dead for something).

    You could never relax because one day all the evil would start again, ad nauseam.

  • ezekiel3
    ezekiel3

    Time line of the 1,000 year reign

    Year 1: Out of the billions alive before Armeggedon, there are only 6 million granted survival.

    Year 2: Reconstruction begins

    Year 7: "New scrolls are opened" as a new brochure "Welcome to Paradise" and a new organization book that states that stoning is now replacing disfellowshipping.

    Year 20: Survivors begin to murmer that there is no BBQ in paradise

    Year 72: The last anointed of the remnant dies, a replacement of a replacement who began partaking in 2003

    Year 150: Survivors start to wonder what's so fun about being young again when all you are allowed to do is demo urban centers

    Year 300: After 3 centuries of buring bodies and churches, the world begins to look like a JW brochure

    Year 350: The resurrection commences with the most recently dead JWs

    Year 351: A general mourning begins when it is realized how many are not being resurrected

    Year 353: The first apostacy begins when it is confirmed that widow and widowers are no longer married to their resurrected mates.

    Year 400: Ancient faithful ones are ressurected. In vengence Uriah kills David who has to be resurrected again. Uriah is stoned. Lot is reunited with his daughters. They spend the night drinking.

    Year 550: The mass of dead ones never associated with Jehovah's organization are now being resurrected. A general confusion begins while the resurrected are taught they are not in heaven, Vahalla, or Nirvana. But the Buddhists win the argument that they are indeed reincarnated, not resurrected.

    Year 581: It becomes apparent that the attrition rate for the general resurrected is about 50%. Most Caananite children still resent the ethic cleansing and labor camps of the ancient Isrealites. Those who died during the 40 year trek in the wilderness are seriously miffed about the lack of quail. General dissention begins.

    Year 620: A record number of suicides among the faithful. Most are not happy with their scant 1 acre parcel and spending full-time hours in the ministry trying to convince a 4th century Greek that he is a soul.

    Year 660: The mass stonings are only aggrevating the issue. Rebels unite on the opposite coastline of world headquarters and begin calling it California again. This angers all the circuit and district overseers who had picked out their estates on the beach before Armeggedon ever started.

    Year 750: The resurrection is almost complete. Newbies wonder why there is a country of apostates in "Paradise." They are encouraged to have endurance until the "end comes."

    Year 880: Australia is completly overwhelmed by apostates. Jehovah's organization is considered under ban there and terrorist vigilantes target faithful ones to revenge those lost to the stonings. Some faithful ones are resurrected 2 or 3 times as a result.

    Year 912: The Watchtower counsels faithful ones to serve with a date in view. Only 88 years to go.

    Year 1000: Satan is released.

    Year 1001: Out of the billions who survived or were resurrected, there are only 6 million granted everlasting life.

    Year 1002: Reconstruction begins, again...

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    It's meant to denote a really long time - that's it - like ages - after the evil one is bound (in you) - w hen you reign with Christ, over/in your self

    Interesting that fundamentalists understand certain chosen parts of visions / dreams to be literally prophetic.

  • Daunt
    Daunt

    I've never understood all that resurrection crap. I feel a lot of other witnesses don't know either. Main reason why my mom became a witness was to see her mother come back to life. Wonder by the WTS teachings if that will be all that true. (Grandma wasnt a JW)

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