I feel like a leper

by Wild_Thing 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • Wild_Thing
    Wild_Thing

    I certainly have had my share of JW stupidity for the day ... and of my family's stupidity today. Two things happened ... both completely unrelated.

    As a little background, I "faded" from the witnesses almost five years ago. I am not disfellowshipped. My family does not shun me anymore (they tried at first). In fact, I have a very good relationship with both my sisters ... my mother too, considering she is just plain nuts. My best relationship is with my sister, whose husband is an elder. My mother recently told me that my baptism when I was 10 years old is basically null and void since she knows my father talked me into it (thanks to my sister for telling her that!) and that she knows I probably did not dedicate myself to Jehovah in prayer (to which I certainly concurred!) So, this helps me understand why they seem to feel as comfortable as they do associating with me, and also why the elders have not "come after me". I am able to have cordial conversations with most of the other witnesses that I may run into. Some will not speak to me at all. But most of them, particularly that ones that associate with my family (even elders and their families) will be very polite if I see them.

    BUT .........

    This past week, a woman died that was the daughter of a "sister" in the congregation. I knew both of them very well, especially the surviving mother. In fact, she is my mother's roommate, so I still see her periodically. She is very self-righteous and I referred to her as "the church lady" even when I was a witness, but she is still polite to me when I see her, and she is still considered a close friend of my family. Even though I am not a witness anymore, I was still planning "sending my respects" just because it is the right thing to do. I try to take the stance of being the bigger person and doing the right thing, even they do not. It they do not recognize it or appreciate it, it makes them look even worse and shows the idiocy of their shunning policy for what it is.

    I just found out that they are not having a funeral, but just a memorial service at the Kingdom Hall. I have decided not to go because of that. I could probably stomach it, but I choose not to, which my mother seems amazingly thrilled about. In fact, I told her that I would not be able to make it, but I will definitely send flowers and try to bring by some food and pay my respects then. Her response was that maybe I could come by Friday evening instead. She said that "the friends" would be coming over to visit after the memorial, so I should come by Friday instead. I am sorry, but that is just plain rude. I am not disfellowshipped, I have not done anything wrong, and if her and other witnesses (including her roommate) can associate with me and be polite, then they can assiociate with me and be polite in front of OTHER witnesses. I told her to just let me know what she would feel most comfortable with. Then, she back-peddles and tells that she thought I would feel uncomfortable. I told her it would not bother me either way. I would be dropping off food for the family and offering my condolenses.

    I probably will do nothing more than send flowers. I do not think it would bother this woman, I really think it is just my mother, but I guess it is not the time to test out my theory. My mother has done this a few other times under different circumstances. I certainly do not agree with disfellowshipping or how they shun people, but by their own rules, I am not disfellowshipped. So, then why am I treated like a leper? And why only SOME of the time?

    Another incident involving the witnesses also happened today that is very upsetting to me. This is becoming so long, I will save it for another post. Maybe in the private section.

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    The first nail in the coffin of my relationship with my jw mom was this type of "I'll treat you well as long as no other witnesses are looking" treatment. I feel for you. Made me livid at the time. Such a hypocrite.

    J

  • GetBusyLiving
    GetBusyLiving

    A lot of witnesses feel that people who fade are just as 'bad' as disfellowshipped ones, and think that faders are as good as disassociated. I think its all baloney but its how they rationalize that stupid policy to themselves sometimes.

    GBL

  • Charisma
    Charisma

    Yeah, my mom is like that. Both my sister and I are no longer Jehovahs Witnesses any more and she has seen us and stuff, but like she ran into us at a mall once, the whole time she sat there, looking around to make sure know one saw her. as if she would be ashamed to be caught by other witnesses associationg with us. I think the love for the child and desire to do something with us, but yet the fear of other witnesses seeing us with her frightens here. Although my sister is disfellowshipped, I am not. But she knows I no longer do anything about being a witness, as does everyone else.

    I'm sorry that your mom took this stand with you, even though you were doing a loving thing

  • curlygirl
    curlygirl

    Wild thing

    I've been there. I have never been df'd either and find it disturbing that some JWs can't even bring themselves to be polite in my presence. Like you, I have always tried to take the high road in my dealings with family and JW friends but, still find their behavior and FEAR insulting.

    My hubbys family only started talking to us again when they heard that we were disgusted by the lack of love in the org. They have taken a new tactic with us---Love. Or, their version of it. We decided that we'll milk it!! We have zero plans of ever going back but, we hope that by showing them that we still love them regardless of our differing views, their definition of love will broaden.

    There will always be those that will refuse to listen to reason and automatically assume that because you no longer associate with JWs, you must be on crack or prostituting yourself. My hubby had his ears pierced and a sister told my JW brother that she heard that he(hubby) had gotten his penis pierced.

    Stay strong and continue to be the kind person that you are. It sounds like your mom is thoroughly indoctrinated. Try not to take that personally. I know, easier said than done right? Just continue to help her change her definition of love. Good luck to you!

    Curlygirl

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    Welcome, Charisma!

  • Wild_Thing
    Wild_Thing

    Thanks for the kind words and support. And I am sorry to here and others experience the same.

    It is even hard for me to believe, but my mother called me back and apologized! She said she did not intend for it to sound like it did. She said she was glad that I still cared enough to want to offer my sympathy and I could come over anytime. She said she knows M----- (her roommate, the greiving mother) will not mind.

    There has been a lot more happen tonight to, so maybe she is feeling fed up with her own JW crap and is coming to her senses momentarily. If you want to read about the rest of the "drama", I posted it here.

    My mother is also quite upset with the elders because the surviving mother asked my brother-in-law to perform the funeral service. Then, some of the other elders came to him and said that they think he has too much on his plate (aka judicial meetings) and that they were going to give the "privilege" to another elder. My meek and mild bro in law, as always, cowers down and says okay. My mom and sister are both pissed at him. They said the family should be able to have whoever they want to perform the service and it is not their decision to make. I whole-heartedly agree! The greiving mother has not been told yet of their other arrangements! (I hope she hits the fan!)

    Is this enough drama for one day?!?

  • Quotes
    Quotes

    ==============
    Then, some of the other elders came to him and said that they think he has too much on his plate (aka judicial meetings) and that they were going to give the "privilege" to another elder.
    ==============

    In the real (non-JW) world, close friends are invited to say a few words about the dearly departed. In the dub world, this is an assignment (aka privlege) handed out to disinterested elders like so many other chores.

    ~Quotes, of the "Eu-googilizer" class

  • vitty
    vitty

    You have to decide whats important. Keeping a relationship with your family WITH some conditions. Or say it like it is and risk it

    Your family are trapped, maybe they dont want to be seen as having a relationship with you not because they are ashamed or hpocritical, but they know some WT stir for trouble and if one person even hints that they are stumbled by your mother continuing to see you, the elders will act, and your mother knows this.

    Dont take it personally, realize your mum is maybe scared that they will tell her to make THE choice.

    Dont let the b#"%&ยค win, be discreet for all your sakes and help your mum, shes being held captive in a cult, remember that !!!!!!

    I know its upsetting, but also know that many ppl here understand, so vent away

  • Gill
    Gill

    Wild Thing,

    It's just yet another crazy JW thing.

    How those people can get you down!

    Hugs

    Gill

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