Counsel by school overseer...

by in a new york bethel minute 20 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Confession

  I'll give this from the reverse perspective: as the School Overseer. I still believe that the TMS Guidebook is not a bad publication for anyone beginning to speak in public. The problem is that oftentimes the Overseers were not particularly good public speakers themselves--and often didn't understand what the book was saying--or how to give someone else counsel. But that's probably not unlike any local chapter of Toastmasters, is it? They did their best.

  I too had a hard time giving negative counsel--especially when the person giving the talk was twice my age--and had enormous experience in public speaking. The toughest one came when a fellow elder's wife was being counseled on "Personal Appearance." Under the subheading "Proper Attire and Grooming," it has quite a lot to say about not dressing in a way that would draw attention to oneself, mentioning that women should exercise all due modesty. The elder's wife was certainly not the flashy sort. Very introverted and sweet. But she would ALWAYS wear a dress or skirt with a slit that HAD to rise to within an inch of her vagina. She would ALWAYS cross her legs in such a way as the main part of the dress or skirt would simply fall away under the table, exposing both of her legs in a way that (trust me) you're just not used to seeing on a Kingdom Hall stage. (They were pretty hot, by the way. Allow me a moment to calm down... (pause) Okay, I'm back.)

  Anyway, during her entire talk, as I was looking over the info from the Guidebook, I began to get really nervous--because (y'know) I was supposed to be specifically counseling her on her appearance. How ON EARTH could I possibly tell her to cover her legs and thighs up more in front of the entire Kingdom Hall? I did EXACTLY as the other contributor mentioned: "Well it looks like we're running a bit short on time; we'll just give you your counsel after the meeting." Then I quickly went to another older elder for his suggestions. He just smiled, agreed that it was a difficult spot, and left it to me. She finally approached me, and asked very kindly if I was going to give her her counsel. I stared at her for about three seconds, debating what to do. Then I completely caved, saying, "Oh, I marked you "Good" on that Sister. Nice talk!"
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  avishai

  Of course, some of the school overseers were just dumbasses who would'nt know good public speaking if someone gave them a jar of it.
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  New Worldly Translation

  LOL Confession

  I think you did the right thing by just giving her a good. If everyone was enjoying the view why spoil it
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  integ

  Timing. Couldn't keep my mouth shut.

  I'm sorry, but I would have been really ticked off at you if you were at my hall and did that. I didn't want to spend any more time than was absolutely neccessary at the good ole kingdom hall.

  Integ.
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  kwintestal

  I was told I looked too HOT! I was wearing a suit with a sweater underneath it. I was sweating like a pig.

  Kwin
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  rocketman

  Confession, I know where you're coming from in regard to giving speech cousel. I assisted in the School for several years before becoming Schoolmaster Overseer (), and yes, it was very tough giving a W, especially on things like personal appearance. I'd get quite nervous, and often had no idea of what I'd actually end of giving out even as I made my way to the platform.

  I also noticed that the worst offenders in the area of Timing were elders. The Bible Highlights part almost always ended up running very long, and the Instruction Talk was a problem as well. Not being able to ding a little bell, tap a pencil, or otherwise stop the talk, I felt pretty helpless as I then had to rush the rest of the School because one or two elders couldn't shut the heck up.
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  Shania

  We always thought it was dumb to have the sisters work on outlines---------we were never going to give a public talk-------why the heck did we need to work on outlines?????????????? Our school overseer would ask to see your outline so he could make sure you had one-------------so I would type up an outline to show him----he was very impressed-----and then I would type my usual notes and use them on the stage he was none the wiser----------I got a "G" and did my talk my way-----------I did feel a little guilty when he was praising me for using an outline to all the audience.........I just smiled like, yup, I fooled you old man!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  trevor

  Shania

  Your post reminded me of time when I was doing a talk:

  When I was 15, and I was, my father was the ministry school servant but totally lacked tact. I did a talk and the point to work on was, use of notes. My father got up after me and praised me for the talk and said I had used the notes so well he could not even see them. He then asked me to hold them up so the audience could see how minimal notes should be. I replied that I did not have any notes to hold up.

  This was more than he could cope with and he launched into a tirade of abuse telling me that I could not be counselled/counseled if I did not have any notes. I would have to work on the point again.

  The brothers and sisters looked across at me clearly feeling sorry for the way I had been treated. Afterwards an elder came up to me and asked if I was alright. Oh sure I said. I explained that I did not have notes I could hold up, but I did have notes pencilled into the margins of the bible by each scripture.

  Why didnt you tell your dad that - he said. I replied, Oh! That would have spoilt all the fun. He laughed and laughed. I heard that later they had words with my father about his outburst.
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  Shania

  Hey Trevor, You made me laugh so hard, I can picture your dad yelling from the stage at you.............he must of thought he was at home Well, you took like a man, even though you were just a kid.............aren't witness parents wacky???????????thanks for sharing.
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  wannaexit

  word whiskers.