Hey Peter,
I'm sorry if I came across strongly - a sensitive subject for me, as well as for you and others.
True story - I was in an incest survivor group (major hospital backing). About 10/12 women. At a lecture one time, I saw some men, and they were asking questions like victims would.
I asked my therepist why no men were in our incest group- as it is known boys get abused just like girls. Her answer - paraphrased: Victims/survivors have a lot of anger within. Women tend to see men - even if victims - as "men, the abusers." Women tend to respond harshly to men in groups because of the openly painful & angry issues spoken about.
At that time, about 10 years ago, in the city of Columbia SC- there were no known groups for male incest/rape survivors to go to. Several for women.
So, I agree with you completely on the issue that men are victims of violence/rape as women are. And women are abusers - just like men.
I questioned the source of your statistics - which seem high at 40%. I am no authority. I thank you for putting up the article from the police which estimates 20% of abuse is done by women. Either way, it's shameful for either sex to abuse anything/anyone.
I find it hard to grasp the idea that women are "emotional" when they abuse - and men are not, at least that's not mentioned as one of the causes of male abusers.
Whichever person, male or female, who "starts" a confrontation - it is the person who resorts to violence who is the physical abuser. Can a person be mice-like and keep the abuser from abusing? In some families, both the male and female resort to violence - then, I guess, it's whoever can beat up the other.
Some theories suggest that an abuser is going to abuse - period. Unless he/she gets professional help, and even then, it's a long process.
Sorry I came across as the antagonist - touchy subject.
waiting