Thank-you all for your wonderful responses. I feel normal today. yesterday, I called people at the wrong numbers more than once, locked myself out of vehicle not once but twice in same day, had to call locksmith two times!!! Who locks themselves out of a car two times in ONE DAY?????????
I ate at the cafeteria at the hospitol, and had to get up for something. I had some cash and no pockets, no purse with me. So I put the cash under the plate, not to tempt anyone to steal it. When I finished eating and put my tray up..............dont you know when the dishwasher picked up that plate, he was grateful for the nice tip???? three times more than my lunch costs!!!!!
When I was DF many years ago, I went wild. I am so glad that person did not stay. I would be dead by now. I felt so bad about myself for a long long time. I learned alot, elders were not Gods, they were men that made mistakes and certainly DID NOT know my heart. When I figured all that out and got some self-esteem I thought I might be good enough to come back.
So I did, been over 5 years now. My life is not the turmoil it once was and I can see the org now so differently. I stayed on the outside of everything, always invited to do more but had responsiblities. I listened.......mostly to what the bible taught and filtered out the BS. When it took more energy to filter the BS that is when I had to call it quits........I got sick and had time to think..........The best thing that ever happened to me.
So, I think I am grounded(thanks for comment James Thomas) and yesterday was just a scatter brain day from hell..........I thought I was losing it!!
This time out I dont feel not Ok about myself. I dont feel like there is a flaw in me like I did when I was DF. I think now it is just my relationship with my higher being. and I think all along, it is within us, each individual. It is a dirty trick to have that stolen from us. Taking away who we are, the very essence of ME.
We all have to sort out our own lives and it is great here to have such a vast spectrum of knowledge, personalities, lifestyles, education........etc etc etc........
We all have a past/history from the teachings and lives we lived and have a common bond. It is really tighter than anything I ever felt as a witness. It is more real and absolutely more fulfilling.
lol.......ok I am relaxed and loose lipped........
Have fun.
Love,
purps