Constant updates

by kwintestal 17 Replies latest jw experiences

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  kwintestal

  When you visit JW family, do you get bombarded by "updates" of what others are doing as JW's?

  I do and it takes everything I have to say what's really on my mind...

  My dad just got back from a vacation visiting family. I ask how so-and-so is doing ... "Oh, they're great. Just married and settled into their new apartment. XXXXXX is pioneering this month." And he leaves it at that to let it soak in. I really feel like saying, "She's pioneering? That's too bad. Still slaving for a cult. Tsk Tsk."

  And then he says, "Oh, and XXXXX just got reinstated. She's really happy now." It took everything not to say, "I'm sure she was happy doing the deed that got her DF'd in the first place too. It's too bad that she still feels required to be judged by men in a kangaroo court."

  This type of thing happen to you?

  Kwin
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  Big Dog

  I hear you, drives me nuts. We went to this assembly, or so and so had a part in the drama, so on and so forth. But if I say something like, we did such and such over christmas its like I laid down this huge fart and everybody just glares at me, then conversation resumes like I didn't say a word. Its that classic JW double standard, you have to listen to their crap as it is the "truth" but they don't want to hear a word you have to say about anything.
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  AlmostAtheist

  I hit this, too, when I visited with my in-laws prior to being DF'd. I would try to steer the conversation onto ANYTHING else, but it would always come back. I think it's as much their desire to "witness" to you as it the fact that they really don't have any other life. What are they going to talk about? Their great new hobby? No, no time for that. This cool class they're taking just for the hell of it? No, of course they wouldn't expose to themselves to all those worldly people, and why waste the money and time? Unless the news is about some doctor that operates bloodlessly or some country or other banning them, they really don't keep up with the news. So in the end, we played chess. There just wasn't anything else to talk about.

  What a sad life. So glad to be free of it!

  Dave
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  talesin

  Parent: "Did you know that <insert nephew's name> has a new car?"

  talesin: "How would I know that -- I don't know him, REMEMBER???"

  Yes, I know what you mean, Kwin. lol

  BD, you said this,

  But if I say something like, we did such and such over christmas its like I laid down this huge fart and everybody just glares at me, then conversation resumes like I didn't say a word.

  Yes, the glazed stare ... I am too familiar w/ that one as well.

  Say something like, "You remember me mentioning my friend, so-and-so? Well <insert exciting news about friend>, isn't that great?"

  It's not relevant, because your friend is 'worldly' and not a real person. The eyes glaze over, there is a nod or a vague "Oh, that's nice", then on to the next, more important topic of conversation --- how busy life is, and don't forget they have the KH and FS tomorrow, so it'll have to be an early nite.

  Sad, very sad ....

  t
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  outnfree

  So in the end, we played chess.

  I had always heard that chess-playing was a warlike game and therefore unfit for "Christians"!!!!!!

  (I don't have any Witness family, so I'm not blessed with these sorts of updates.)

  out
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  Sunspot

  I think it's as much their desire to "witness" to you as it the fact that they really don't have any other life.

  I think you've hit it right on the head, Dave. I no longer have any JWs that speak to me, but even when I was one, they carried on with these same discussions.

  Most people don't purposely fill their conversations with things that are of no possible interest to the listener, but in a JWs case----what ELSE have they got? This is what their pitiful lives revolve around.
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  blondie

  Actually, I think it is because they don't know what else to talk about.

  My non-JW family does the same thing, tells me who died, who got married, who got divorced, who got back together, who is graduating from HS, who got a job, who moved, who had a baby. who's in the hospital etc., etc.

  The few JWs we run into, never mention that we should go to the KH. But they do mention that certain ones died, married, are in the hospital, people they know might still matter to us. We don't mind because then we send a card.

  As far as sharing info on non-JWs, it might be just that they don't know these people or might be jealous of the time and importance they have in your life.

  I would say that about 80% of JWs have no clue how to have a give and take conversation.

  Blondie
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  upside/down

  They are just lke hard-core career military types...nothing but the topic of military and military related items is topic for conversation. And there is always something to talk about because everything is "scheduled" and you can discuss what's next on the schedule...

  My father-in-law was particularly irksome in this area... he was so full of himself that he would ALWAYS force comments like....You know that reminds me of the upcoming Tower where it talks about... and then spout off some drivel that he thinks relates to what's at hand. He would ALWAYS strectch to fit the information to the sitch... and then say how wonderful J was for giving us the food at the proper time..... gag!

  When in reality he was merely saying....LOOK AT ME... see how I read my Tower early... did you? The problem was he was so used to being the local "God" of the congregation no one ever challenged him. I actually read my mags too... so I started calling him on the carpet and saying... yeah I read that, what did you think about the part on ..... and he'd always get flustered (as he HADN"T really read it at all just BS'd his way around everything).... of course he didn't like me as I showed him up for the haughty arrogant fraud he really was.... He's still LORD of his domain in Harlan Iowa.

  Being "out" is the best thing that has happened to me in 20 years. That and getting my new tatts!

  u/d
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  BrendaCloutier

  My parents, when we were in speaking terms before, used to do that. Now, when they talk about the congregation it's just a regular part of their conversation. No JW newsworthy items, just life.

  But I totally understand what you're dealing with Kwin and others. It's the JW dig."I told you so! So-n-so is doing it and is so very happy"
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  Will Power

  Hi Kwin, did you get any updates on me & my family? LOL
  
  wp