Foster Care...

Golden Girl

OK..discussions are being raised about child abuse..sexually and physically.I thought about alternatives to staying in the home. Calling the police evertime you are threatened or the children or beat..

If the Mother is young..has no schooling..has several kids..no family or friends..how does she cope?

Reality check..sometimes she will lose custody of the children for allowing them to be in the home! Or if she leaves..she will have such financial difficulties she cannot provide for the children..so they will be taken to Foster care .

I have heard nightmare stories about Foster Care..anyone want to share stories? I can't see a happy ending either way..

This system just isn't set up to help these people..at least from what I've heard.

Snoozy...

Why Georgia

My cousin suffered from PPD after having her 3rd child. While her husband was away on a business trip she checked herself into the hospital and left the kids at home all alone. Ages ranging from 1- 7.

The kids were taken away. They were not given to the father because he is/was very abusive. Because she lived in another state from the rest of us we didn't find out until the kids were already in foster care for a few weeks.

When she was stabilized for depression, finished school and got a job she got her kids back. They have been back with her for 2 years now. The department of social services helped my cousin get her GED, her CNA certification, and has given the family support and therapy.

Unfortunately.....I know there are bad things that happen to kids in foster care. But I thought I would share a story from our family first that has worked out really well.

Thegoodgirl

WhyGeorgia, that is a great story, exactly how the system should work.

I worked in a child and adolescent inpatient psychiatric unit, and OH MY GOD, the stories were absolutely horrible. Of course the kids we saw were the worst cases, that's why they were in that unit, but I tell you, physical, emotional, sexual abuse did take place at the hands of some foster parents. One girl I remember to this day, unbeleivable what horrible adults can do to a normal child's mind and psyche. She actually healed emotionally/mentally a lot in a few weeks with us, it was amazing. But when she came she was like a child raised by wolves, that's all I can compare it to. Didn't know how to speak anything that made sense, couldn't really tell make-beleive from reality, had no idea how to interact with other kids her age, and didn't care to. She actually had been abused by her own parents, then sent to relatives, who abused her, then sent to a foster home who abused her even worse. And other kids too with histories of abuse at the hands of foster parents.

But then there were the kids who came in and their foster parents actually came to visit them every day, better than most of the parents. So I dont' know what the stats are, but it can be a bad situation.

Why Georgia

I have seen both sides of the foster care situation. The good, bad, and the ugly.

It's very sad that when the children are in the most desperate need for stability, kindness and love they are often re-abused and sometimes worse than what they were taken away from home for.

Very sad.

I wish that God had made a rule about children being safe until they turn into adults. The world would be a much better place to live in.

LongHairGal

Maybe there are some good experiences out there for boys but unfortunately the only stories I heard about for girls were foster homes and dirty old men.

Hate to be negative.

avishai

OK, I've worked in the group home field for years. The foster care industry even in the last five years has been monitored much more closely, at least here in CA. I agree there are problems, but oftentimes it's the only alternative to situations where the kids are ALREADY BEING ABUSED.

Also, MOST foster parent's are good people that take time, energy and money out of there own pocket to do a thankless, hard, and heartbreaking job. But you never hear about them, only the sensationalistic stuff. It's not easy. Almost every single foster parent i met in my field was great. They had to be to take in these broken kids

avishai

Maybe there are some good experiences out there for boys but unfortunately the only stories I heard about for girls were foster homes and dirty old men.

Hate to be negative

Once again, because the media generally does'nt print the "positine" stories. But I have seen them in the paper. Look in your area. There's tons of folks. I know of at least three families in my area who have ten foster kids. Some of who take in kids who are critically ill, etc.

One single lady in my area has six kids with fetal alcohol/ fetal drug affect. These kids will basically never get better. But she takes care of them. See, these folks are just too darn busy to go out and seek media attention. But if you go out and ask your local foster care agencies, I'm sure you can find families just like them, and i'm sure they could really use your old clothes, furniture, and canned food.

Avishai:

I am glad you know of some good experiences. There are so many children in bad situations. God bless anybody who is able to be a foster parent.

Well, i did'nt go that far.... I hope the ones that get into it to hurt kids go away forever. (((longhairgal)))

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