A Friend

by Quentin 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  LouBelle

  Friends: True ones are oh so hard to come by - esp. as there is so much superficiality out there, people want to be your friend for what they can get out of you. Used to have many so called friends, but that changed when I left the faith. So pretty much stuck with family at the moment, at least they got to love you.

  A true friend is someone who will always be frank with you, can critisize you but in a manner that seems upbuilding instead of insulting. Someone who can sit with you in the quite times and you're happy with that. Someone you can lean on when need be.....and so much more.
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  trevor

  A lot of people have been hurt and disappointed in friendships and are wary of makng new friends. It can take time for new people we meet to realize that not everyone is after something. I try to be generous and not pry into my friends lives or gossip about people they know. I just want to share time with them, when it suits them and am available if they need help. Once they realize that I have something to offer and am not on the take they develop trust and trust is what friendship is about.

  I realize, when I look back, that when I was younger. I was a taker in some of the friendships I had. I measured my friendships in terms of who I could stay with, turn up for a meal, get a lift with, get help of advice. That is what young people do because they are trying to survive and establish themselves. Now I am older it is my turn to be the friend who gives without expecting an equal payback - even to people my own age because some people have had more setbacks than me and have not learned to cope or move on.

  Some people think friends are people who will do things for them. To me a friend is someone who I would put myself out for - big time. If we realize the difference we will never be short of friends. The great thing is that this kind of attitude attracts like minded people. In other words if you want a friend you have to be a friend first.
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  love2Bworldly

  I am happy to say that my husband is my closest friend and we have been together only 2 years. Previous men in my life were not my real friends. My husband would do anything I asked him to and I can be myself around him. My other closest friend is my 18 year old daughter, she is a sweetheart.
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  jt stumbler

  I don't even let my best friend my wife, all the way into what makes me tick.
  
  
  
  
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  GetBusyLiving

  People who won't shun you for conscienciously dropping erroneous religious beliefs.

  GBL
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  Sunspot

  I've been blessed with two friends like this. 20-30 year friendships. Both were JWs. One has since died, and one moved to VA two months before I DAed myself.

  I don't hold back making new friends though, and whatever happens (if we get into a deep friendship or not) will happen. I don't go "looking for" that closeness any more. If it's meant to be, it will happen in a natural way. Both the friends I mentioned took years to develop the bonds that we shared.

  Annie
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  RescueMe2

  You are far from alone. Grab hold of the life raft, we'll make room.

  Thanks! I know I am not alone in this feeling. It's just a tough realization that to find that someone you cared about and trusted with every fiber of your being has fooled you so completely. It also makes trusting again a difficult task.
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  LouBelle

  GetBusyLiving: I think you hit it on the head there. In that case I have NO MORE FRIENDS. I'm pretty sure I'll DFed soon (just because I don't agree with the organisation any more)
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  Golden Girl

  The only friends I had were wives of people hubby worked with..and they have retired and moved so far away.

  They always want me to come visit..but the memories of them include hubby and me. I just don't want to be around them because it hurts too much to remember right now. Even tho we were very close..I would still feel like a third wheel..I know they would definatly not be that way..but I would still feel that way.

  I still have a lot of healing to do even tho it's been 2 years since he died.

  I would love to make some new friends..but I am not desperate!..

  I am happy as I am for now..I love working in my yard..doing different things around the house..and mastering the art of "Fixing" things..(Lots of things)

  So I have been checking out some senior clubs..that get together for bingo..and buffets..I see a lot of single women and men and couples going.

  Ther is a woman two doors down that I would love to meet..she is either divorced or widowed..I never met her..She looks about my age..I even thought about starting to walk. You meet lots of people in the neighborhood that way.. Plus I would get exercise..Good for the heart in many ways..

  Any more ideas?

  Snoozy...
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  MrsElmo253

  I heard a great quote once..

  "A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and appreciates you today just for being who you are."

  I have several very close friends.. numerous "aquaintences" (People I am friendly with but wouldnt trust with sensitive or highly personal information) Many may disagree with my ability to juggle so many close friends, but I rather like having three best friends.

  Katlin