Did losing your religion send you into/exacerbate depression? (page 3)

upside/down

u/d, when you lost the delusion that the organization = God, or is even somehow connected to God, was that helpful, hurtful, or neutral as respects your depression?

It helped....I always prefer truth (even if it's bad news) to the lie. It just took a long time to sink in... finding JWD was a "God" send, as I felt so bitter and so alone... thinking it might be me... Candidly- I'm sooooo sorry. Been there done that. I wish I could offer more than I can. Those bastards at the hall should be ashamed. "Christianity" is strictly a form of lip service to them. Good riddance. u/d (of the want to bust a few JW caps class)

JamesThomas

Having a neurochemical imbalance, there is a strong tendency toward depression, which was certainly "exacerbated" when I was disfellowshipped.

I was raised in the mess. Knew little other than the mess. One day I went to the elders because I had committed adultery and wanted to come clean (no pun intended). They said that since I was no longer doing it, and had come to them wanting to set thing straight, that all that was left to do before we could all go home and forget about it, was for me to pray -- out loud -- to Jehovah for forgiveness so that they could hear.

We all bowed our heads and......my world turned upside down.

To everyones utter surprise -- especially my own -- I could not pray. My mind wanted back into the warm and familiar Witness family. My heart silently took control and would accept no more of this shit. We met three times after that, with me still unable to pray, so I was disfellowshipped without a clue as to what the hell was going on. I was devastated. My whole life's rug pulled out from under me. It was hell.

j

GetBusyLiving

Sounds like you might be demonized James.

I couldn't comment or pray either for about the past five years either, James. Everytime I tried to I felt like such a phony that I physically could not do it. The words they wanted me to believe sounded so stupid to me I just couldn't make myself spit them out.

GBL

LongHairGal

I don't know that it sent me into a depression because it happened gradually.

But what it did do was make me angry. This I am trying to get over.

Honesty

I think most of us here agree that our past belief in the JW organization as being god's sole chosen people was delusional on our part. For myself, when I lost that delusion (fairly abruptly too), I came out of a long period of depression immediately.

It took all of 2 weeks from finding out the truth about the troof (I had a lot of doubts but as a loyal braindead dub never researched outside the WT crap literature) and DF'ing the apostate bastards in Crooklyn, NY for their UN/NGO affiliation for the depression to subside substantially. After realising that if they lied about everything I believed in then they must have lied about Jesus I started worshipping with members of the WT version of Babylon the Great and found out where real Christianity is. The past 6 months has reinforced the fact that the WTBTS cult is from Satan and never had Jesus' approval. No more depression or guilt about getting off the sinking WT ship bound for Hell.

LouBelle

I always had a few doubts, but was never brave enough to express them, and the little research I did was through their own publications, which didn't yield much. I kinda just lulled myself into a fake sense of security for a while. After bumping into a self DA'd ex friend and going with her to church -- I was eaten up by guilt , thought I'd sinned & ran headlong to the elders. That is when I found the strength to question everything. I'm so glad that I did - I finally wasn't scared of them, though for the first 2 months I felt immense pressure from family & elders, spent many nights crying myself to sleep, kinda thought I was going insane. But Now I look back and feel extremely relived & free, this burdon has been lifted & no longer do I feel guilty or that I'm wrong.

Soon to be DF'ed

seeitallclearlynow

Sixer,

For myself, when I lost that delusion (fairly abruptly too), I came out of a long period of depression immediately.

This was my experience too. My health immediately improved too and now it's the best it has ever been. I sleep well and my digestion is far improved, as is my general disposition and outlook. I love it.

Cat-er-daynightfever

I decided to take a plunge and get married despite their grumblings. I had to leave due to being boxed in the unmarriageable category. The mere loneliness made me crazy. I couldn't help but try to change. they made me want to kill myself. My husband, a non-JW, was very supportive. I wouldn't touch the "apostate" stuff for a few months. I was so overcome by guilt and shame and feelings that God could have cursed me. It has taken a little research and reading to have my guilt removed. But getting kicked in the stomach because I was so angry because I had been lied to. It nearly ate me alive. I barely finished my semester. I hated myself and them for raping my spiritual innocence and telling me boldfaced lies. It still makes me angry. I am still learning the art of getting angry at those who have hurt me without blaming myself for what they did to me. I hate them for their criticism of everybody and everything while they're doing the same crap the other religions are. I am relieved of the burden of guilt that maybe God cursed me for leaving. He obviously wanted for me to leave. I wanted the truth despite guttrenching pain. I am s-l-o-w-l-y weeding my way through the Search for Christian Freedom. I take it a few pages at a time. But it is all coming through loud and clear that I have been a part of an apostate religion that took all control away from my mediator to cry out in my defense before God. They had no right to usurp his position and add to the law making it rigid and unbending, even unmerciful. May God be just as merciful with them as they have been with me.

I couldn't pray for a long time, but that passed. The deepest part of my depression/grieving period is now over. I am free to think and feel and be myself at all times without their criticism. ---- them all!!!

alias

I'm curious though, if other people have had an opposite reaction?

The first two years I dangled the edge of suicide and couldn't see my way out of the most horrible depression in my life. In my mind I lost it all. Friends, family, God. What was left to live for? Thus my gravitation towards JW boards to see if it was me or them.

It's hard to undo what being 'raised in the truth' does to you while having a HSP temperment.

Those were some tough, mixed up years for me. Even with outside help, I almost didn't survive.

Really.

alias

LittleToe

James:
WTF??
That's the damdest thing. I haven't EVER heard of that procedure. It would be more normal (and scriptural) for the Elders to pray with the repentant, not force them to pray!

Did losing your religion send you into/exacerbate depression?

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