Is this fair? (page 2)

pisces

You do need to report him, because child support is swamped with cases and they do need constant reminders. I have been dealing with a dead beat ex-boyfriend for 4 years and only just started receiving child support. Trust me those bench warrents do catch up with them, but it does take a while. My ex-boyfriend has been to jail, I think 3 times, because of his failure to pay. Everytime he went he would pay whatever to get out and then would not pay his support. This last time he was sentenced to 90 days and was being released every day to go and take care of his new baby so that the mom could go to work. (I can tell he never changed). Any ways Child Support petitioned that and the judge ruled that he could only be released for work or work search. Well, it's been a couple of months and I've been getting my check regularly, so I will have to wait and see how long his girlfriend will keep paying for his abandoned child. I assume that it is her that is paying because this guy is slick and will do anything not to work. I do have one question, do his parents try to cover for him or are they supportive of your situation?

devinsmom

Thanks everyone for you thoughts, and pisces: both of his parents are deceased.

-April

Emma

You're getting some good suggestions; and yes, I've been throught something similar.

You do have to be the squeaky wheel. Keep being an advocate for your son; child support is for the child, and some dad's forget this.

When my ex quit his job (and thought he'd get out of child support) the family court here made him pay according to his last paying job. Whenever he'd get too far behind, either I or the case worker would ask for a hearing.

He was scared of the warrant; if he got picked up for moving violation, he'd go straight to jail. Also, I could have called the police in his area and asked for him to be picked up, and they would have done it though they wouldn't have activly gone after him on their own. See if you could do this.

Keep asking your worker for help; keep this in front of their faces.

pisces

I'm sorry that both his parents are deceased. I also want to add that heatherg's idea about terminating his parental rights is a good one. I am seriously considering this option myself. I don't want anyone in my daughter's life that has to be forced by the law.

devinsmom

He would never agree to having his rights terminated...if i understand correctly, the only way to do that is if he agrees to it and he wont do that, that would be like him admiting that hes a deadbeat and hes so screwy that he actually believes it is my fault that he doesnt pay up or see dj (he is has been welcome to come see him whenever he wants but doesnt).

-April

whyamihere

April, just remember you are the one who has Devin. I am sorry you have to go through that. You are a strong woman and a wonderful mother.

Brooke

devinsmom

Thanks Brooke, I know I have the one thing that matters...Devin, but my ex just has made things so hard in so many ways, it is so hard to be a single mother, and I cant do any of the things I used to do, getting away is a rare occurance and a big hassle as far as babysitting and such. And besides Im sick of being this strong person ive been for so long, I want things to finally be normal, it seems my whole life has been spent being the stong one and im friggin sick of it!!!!

-April

whyamihere

I kind of know what you are going through. I never have anyone to baby-sit my kids. My husband is gone all the time with work and school. I know what it is like to be alone and tired and wanting to get out of the house and be normal. Why don't you come down one of these days and we will put our kids to bed and WE go out to a Dinner and Movie. I am sure Your Cousin wouldn't mind staying home with the kids.

When little Devin gets older I promise you it gets better.

Brooke

Seeking Knowledge

Hang in there, my ex pulled the same crap, but in my state they did an "account" sweep & now have his child support amount coming right out of his check before he even sees it. He blames me for his troubles and blames me cuz I'm "taking his money" and he's having to "pay me" I remind him that he's got a son, but he & the new wife don't see things that way. It's easier to blame/hate me than face the reality of just how miserable they both are. He was quite happy with me paying everything & making sure our son was cared for so long as he didn't have to part with any money.

Keep on them, about things, if you know where he is, let them know, if you know he's getting paid under the table, let them know & then let them know who's doing the paying. Eventually this will catch up with him...

Being a single mom isn't easy, but Devin will see how hard you've worked & will work for him and he will love you all the more for it.

Take care!

SK

Es

Heya hun I really feel for you up until a year ago i too was a single mother and i know how hard it is. Although my ex is good with his payments i can understand how hard it is for you es

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