Do you ever feel invisible? (page 10)

ozziepost

Angry was just plucking up the courage to post!!!

Glad ya made it and welcome aboard!!!

Now you're here make sure you make yourself at home and don't forget......................

Enjoy!

Cheers, Ozzie (permanently upside-down class)

notperfectyet

Arrow...I made you pearls! And I don't drink cofffee!

Sassy, good to see your back....

LT is invisable too, and we can't see what you two are doing with your sunglasses off.

Hugs to everyone who feels lonely.

Angry

Thankyou! Yes you should be afraid of angry people in arkansas because you know we are craaaaaaaazy,lol!

When i was a kid there was so much fighting ,screaming and hitting going on that i would make myself invisible . I would close my eyes and pretend i was not there ,in my mind i could just disapear and be in a calm quiet place where no one could reach me. Now as a growed up to face some of lifes heartaches i wish i was invisible sometimes so i could just go and be hysterical in my mind and go to the far off place i could as a kid ,but this is a growed up world and i am growed up so i face the next hurdle as visible but wishing i could be invisible again.

seeitallclearlynow

I guess I'm at the opposite end of this "idea" in that I rarely ever feel invisible anywhere. There have been many times when I felt the desire to go unnoticed (and in all likelihood was!) but if you're self conscious, you sometimes think all eyes are on YOU, with the occasional spotlight on you too! Silly I know. That's how I felt whenever I walked into most Kingdom Halls.

This kind of thing is mostly in our heads, I think, don't you?

Gretchen956

Thanks Ross, Sassy, and Sirona, nice to know that I'm missed by somebody! Truthfully I come in here sometimes and there just isn't anything that calls to me to write about. AND I have been busy too. But I have also killed so many threads I have lost count!

I miss chat too, thats the place I did go into most often. Wish that little problem would be fixed. In the meantime, I can be found on yahoo and aol IMs as gretchen956, I'd love to chat wit chall.

Sherry

Markfromcali

Wow, how do these recent threads get so big without having been seen sooner ... must have been invisible!

Seriously, I don't really care about this anymore because I'm not interested in being seen for it's own sake, and on the other hand when it does happen it can be intense without any words exchanged, just that eye contact.

It should be noted though that even if you are not seen it may have a lot to do with the other side, perhaps they are too preoccupied with their stuff, whatever that might be. So you feeling invisible may just be a sense of the other side being oblivious. People tend to have that selective attention thing going on too. It's funny when I encounter someone absorbed in that kind of state (usually in traffic, both in car and on foot) I don't tend to think in terms of notice me, but I mostly think "wake the hell up you moron!" lol

FlyingHighNow

Sassy, reading that you shared about your serious thoughts of ending your life, and no one responding to you, makes me feel so sad. If I had seen your comment, I would not have let it go. You are one of the most loveable and noticeable people here at JWD and well anywhere. I hope that you are feeling at least some better.

Sparkplug

Here goes nothing... I could not decide if I should post it on the depression thread or this one, but seeing this is up and running I will. I read the other thread and it is my worst peave about posting something serious that 500 people will read it but no one will respond...one or two. All the while, if someone says masterbate or fuzzy bumm...the thread won't die.

But then I read the thread on depression and I could not respond. It hit too close to home. not my current on, but one of the past. Depression runs in my family, and my mom currently has dymentia. (spell). At any rate, she has tried suicide maybe 5 or more times and as a child I thought that was the way out. I tried and about suceeded at 15. They actually went and told my mom I was going to die...concider me dead. I still can taste death when I think of that. My Sister has tried a couple of times for she is the original invisible woman. Just not very noticeable and very boring kind of gal.

Then later much later I tried to slit my wrist. , but the thing that stopped me was that it hurt too damn much. I told my best friend about it and she boldfaced laughed at me. that was all it took. I laughed too and we still laugh at it. I learned about my behavior and found out why I acted the way I did PSTD...and the urge to hurt self has never come back since. It was the same with lying when I was a child, one day I just stopped. Also with hurting over situations and many other things. I guess if the mind closes and blocks things on my behalf...well I can deal with that. It is much better than the other path I was on.

Round about I was trying to say that I apologize to all for not answering some of the more serious threads...it just is kind of awkward seeing I have no way to say how to get thru it. I just did. If I feel depressed now, I take meds like a good gal should, get active and it goes away. Takes a time while using meds, but the downs arent nearly as long or as down now....see? I actually am a very happy person now and I really hope everyone gets to that point.

To cheer myself up over being invisible (and I can be)...well I just remember why I do not respond sometimes.

Sassy

Sparkplug, every comment in this thread has been precious to me and yours touched me the most. Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you are here today to be able to tell us rather than have succeeded in your thoughts and attempts in the past, as well as found a way to deal with those thoughts and overcome them.

I did attempt suicide myself back in 2000 when I was still a witness. I took a bottle of antidepressents and a bottle of whiskey. Wrote all the lettters to people and before I passed out, sents some really really strung out no making sense emails to a few people online.. ironically something about Jehovah forgiving or something.. I forget.. the people that got them sent notes back HUH?? I was out for three days and drugged for at least three more. The very very worst thing that happened in that experience, to me was the worst I have ever had to date.. I know people get very angry about suicide, because it is a selfish thing to a rational person. But when you are at that moment where you feel you have no way out and must escape the pain, at least for me, you really are thinking the opposite. You think maybe you are doing everyone a favor......(which of course you are not.. but the brain is not processing correctly).. but any way.. when I didn't die and the closest people to me realized what I attemped.. my best friends at the time.. (Please note.. SimpleSally was not given information about my attempt until long after I had attempted.. so this is not about her), but my friends then were so angry with me they literally wouldn't talk to me.. I got phone calls and emails about how selfish I had been and how disobedient to Jehovah I had been.. the guilt thrown on me.. and the lack of love was overwhelming.. I always thought when someone dies that you love you wish that you had one more chance to tell them how much you loved them.. and although my attempt had nothing to do with trying to get attention, for I truly did try to kill myself, there was no phone calls to warn anyone so they could try to stop me.. I would have thought when I did come to and talk to people that someone would have said.. we love you.....we didn't want to lose you.. we're glad you are still here..

now.. its all in a different light today.. those were dubs who left my life overnight when I stopped going to meetings.. they really didn't love me any way...as a matter of fact one of those women, when I wrote her that I was taking a break from being a witness, emailed me and told me what an evil person I was and that I should attempt to kill myself again......only this time do it right, get a gun and blow my head off.. for noe one would care any more.... love huh..

but any way.. I've never shaken that feeling of what it was like to realize you didn't die.. you wanted to die.. and no one really seemed to care..

wow.. I didn't mean to get into all that so deep.. it just amazes me the experience when I think back.. and when the elders found out.. they did what? nothing.. I think they thought it was a ploy to try to get out of trouble..........since at the time I had been turned in for immorality

I want to thank others that mentioned notes above..but I'll have to do it in the morning.........I'm so tired........ I have to get some sleep..

except flyinghigh......thanks you for your words.. I know that no one purposely ignored me when I mentioned feeling suicidal a few weeks ago.. I know.. when I think rationally.. that it was just so many comments in that thread and even I do not catch every word that everyone says.. so. its ok.. but thank you.. your words touched my heart..

well. good night all.. morning and the alarm comes in 5 hours

Do you ever feel invisible?