emotionless

carla

Is it normal for one who is a somewhat new convert to become emotionless? Maybe that's not quite the right word, but, husband just doesn't seem to care when there is a problem in the house with one of us. He will just say things like, 'well, I'm sorry you feel that way' and nothing more!!! And just goes about his business as if nothing happened. Even with the kids! This just totally frustrates them. It looks to them like he doesn't care. What am I supposed to say? I have to agree with the kids, it does look like he doesn't give a darn! from the house of frustration, carla

Markfromcali

He might be lost in thought? Either thought in general or the particular thoughts of JW teachings.

zen nudist

Is it normal for one who is a somewhat new convert to become emotionless? Maybe that's not quite the right word, but, husband just doesn't seem to care when there is a problem in the house with one of us. He will just say things like, 'well, I'm sorry you feel that way' and nothing more!!! And just goes about his business as if nothing happened. Even with the kids! This just totally frustrates them. It looks to them like he doesn't care. What am I supposed to say? I have to agree with the kids, it does look like he doesn't give a darn! from the house of frustration, carla

to be totally emotionless means to be dead....but there are some which are not quite so extreme, but close...apathy is one... it comes from a form of depression which results from seeing the future in ways which are not quite rational.... basically part of the mind believes that it already knows what is coming and does not like it one bit but is resigned to it anyway.... this is sometimes not far from the truth if the person is stuck in a situation which seems like it will not change..which of course re-inforces that trapped feeling... the depression does not comes from the resignation, but from the view that its ultimately wrong and unfair or something to that effect... .pure acceptance leads to contentment, not apathy. changes to the circumstances which can broaden ones horizons may be a good start....trip to the library to find books to changes ones point of view, etc.

kls

Welcome to the world of living with a jw Carla and i know exactually how you feel and how it hurts. It's like you and the kids are just there and the jws mind is elswhere . There is no real love , friendship and he is there but yet you are alone. It to me is like they are having an affair with another person but if it was another person you could fight a lot easier then you can against a cult with thousands of followers constantly drilling in their minds their new personalities and life.

After my husband got baptised it got worse because now he was dedicated to serve his god and now it is expected of him by the org.

I have spent so much being alone and raising my 4 kids by myself while my husband went to every meeting and fieldservice all for a cult . I can remember who my husband once was to what the jws turned him into and you will see that is one of the hardest to remember .

Carla i am deeply sorry and i do mean that because i know the heartache.

((( HUGS CARLA )))

carla

thanks kls, I know what's coming. still, you hold out for some hope, knowing there is none. How does that quote go? Forgetting is bad, remembering is worse. That just about sums up the past 20 years for me today. carla

kls

still, you hold out for some hope, knowing there is none.

Carla , never ever give up hope . There is always hope ,that is something this forum has taught me or i would not be sitting here but six ft. under and i have learned to live my own life with out him when i need to . Carla you will become a stronger person then you ever imagined you could be ,i did.

But NEVER EVER give up hope because the wt is falling apart little by little and that gives me hope .

Sassy

I'm sorry Carla.. I hope he wakes up

talesin

carla,

You see, he now believes the only way to happiness is thru the KH. So, he has no vested interest in trying to work out day-to-day problems.

It's your own fault if you have problems and are unhappy, because, don't you know, J*h's people are the only happy people on earth!

I'm so sorry you, and lovely kls, and others are living this nightmare, and hope your life-partners will see the real truth sooner, rather than later.

{{{{carla}}}} {{{{kls}}}}

t

love2Bworldly

"You see, he now believes the only way to happiness is thru the KH. So, he has no vested interest in trying to work out day-to-day problems." Talesin

I like the point Talesin makes regarding vested interest, Once the person is baptised, it is like being turned into a Stepford wife or a robot. Their only thinking is that the new system is coming, so why bother trying to fix anything that's wrong? I was like that when I was a JW.

orangefatcat

I here what you are saying Carla. Its as if he is in a world all his own and I have to agree readily with MONKEY who stated this

After my husband got baptised it got worse because now he was dedicated to serve his god and now it is expected of him by the org.
I have spent so much being alone and raising my 4 kids by myself while my husband went to every meeting and fieldservice all for a cult . I can remember who my husband once was to what the jws turned him into and you will see that is one of the hardest to remember .

This is the same mentality of my ex husband, he had no time for his family just the witnesses , going out in the service day and night and never home except on a Sunday Meeting. He never did anything with our son. I was both mom and father to me boy and he was very resentful of his father. It has still effected my son to this day. Shouldn't a father be husband, friend, and balance with family life and worship. All he did was worry about if he was going to get 100 hours a month even though he was not a pioneer and in fact the elders in recent years wouldn't let him pioneer because they knew he neglected his family and their need.

So dear Carla my heart goes out to you. Try and keep strong especially for your children and maybe some bombshell might fall on your hubby and he may come to his senses. I mean you can always hope .

Love Orangefatcat.. Monkey here is a kiss and a hug for you too.

emotionless

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