In fact I was asked this very question from my "father-in-law". He obviously had been instructed by an elder-friend as he is not an elder himself to ask this cardinal question. I did not provide him with an answer, cause he was not entitled whatsoever to get one. Since we’ve chosen not to DA/DF due to family, we are able to maintain family relations. However, this man (who was inactive for years, leading a rather messy life) has the guts even to "shun" us by not coming to our house, being in a cafe nearby if my mother in law pop’s in for a visit (very rare though). He obviously is afraid of being contaminated by people who have enough nerve to think for themselves.