Were/Are you afraid to read the Watchtower Publications?

by LyinEyes 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  LyinEyes

  I have to confess that I was a bit afraid to even touch any new JW publications for so long. I know it sounds so silly but I was afraid if I read something in them, I might get brainwashed again. It was hard for me to admit that I was so brainwashed as one of JW's.

  When I first started my journey out, one of the things that really caught my attention was the subliminal messages in the pictures of the magazines. I wasnt sure about all of that, but I did know that growing up as a small child the images of the pictures TERRIFIED me. Whatever power they had, I was not sure, but I knew it was a strong force . It is true a pictures says a thousands words for sure.

  As times has gone on I have read more and more here , quotes from JW publications , but still kind of stayed away from deep reading of them.

  I wrote this to Blondie and thought I would include it here to kind of explain what I am talking about.

  Blondie, I just wanted to thank you for all that you do . I enjoyed your WT coverage , hehe, very much this weekend. I woke up feeling weird from some dream about my father and the KH but couldnt put my finger on it. As I read what you wrote, I remember some of my dream, one that I have everyonce in awhile. I dream I am going back the the KH , just because of emotional attachment, or wanting so much to have the faith that I did back then. I know it is crazy, I never consciously want to go back, but you know dreams bring out things about yourself that you don't realize sometimes, even how minute they might be.

  I read the things you summerized and it made me realize that I could never go back. Sometimes I don't read the threads that talk about JW literature, maybe out of fear of being brainwashed again, lol, like it was some kind of trigger. But I was pleased when I read yours, that it just reinforced what I know is truth and that I am still getting stronger and I shouldnt fear those written words in the WT ever again. The words and ideas in those magazines hold no power over me.

  So does reading the JW publications make your blood pressure go up? Do you feel a panic attack coming on? Sick at your stomach? Just wondering if others had these feelings as I have.
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  unbeliever

  I would be afraid of dying of bordem. I went with my mom to visit some family recently and it was a 1 hour car trip. First thing she did is put in one of those WT tapes. I felt my eyes glazing over listening to it. She should thank jehovah I did not fall asleep behind the wheel.
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  GetBusyLiving

  LyinEyes, I get what you are saying. It is some really freaky stuff. Have you read a lot of material on the JW's though, like have you completely deprogrammed yourself? I found that after I took the time to patiently and thoroughly understand how the dubs are wrong about everything.. thier books and magazines are just morbidly facinating in an even funny sort of way now.

  GBL
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  tetrapod.sapien

  in my case, i actually enjoy reading the mag's even more now. being on the outside, looking in, is surreal and entertaining. i don't have any fear of voodoo, or being re-brainwashed by the borg. i'm using my brain now, so it would be pretty hard to be duped again. plus, i'm not 11 years old anymore.
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  stillajwexelder

  No not at all - quite the opposite in fact. I read them for a good laugh.
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  LyinEyes

  Am I totally deprogrammed? I think so, but you know it takes some of us alot of soul searching to totally let fear go. I think alot of it for me is the whole fear factor. I still have a hard time sometimes , really admitting that I was an abused child, but if I heard someone eles tell their childhood stories I would know in a second that they were abused. I was raised with fear , taught to fear, and lived in fear all of those very early years. Even when I grew, up married and moved on, I was still afraid. Years and years of programming were so deeply embedded in my very being that it has taken some time to make the progress that I have.

  I am on the verge of starting to study again, and dig deeper in regards to the false teachings I was taught. When I left, I did a overview of so many things from the UN, to blood transfusions, the coverups etc, and that was enough to make me know it was wrong. Now I want to dig more and I finally feel that I am ready.

  The first two years after leaving the borg, I took the time for me, just to enjoy living and finding myself. Now I feel I am ready for my next steps in my recovery.

  I think I made great progress with my fear of the WT magazines the other day though. The witnesses, ex friends who I spent so much time were out in our neighborhood. They skipped my house, as me and my mother in law , my neice ( all exjw's) were sitting there smoking.

  They didnt even look at us, for fear our evil would rub off on them. My neice went to the neighbor's house , our kin folk as well, and brought back the lastest copy of the WT. We made fun of it and I told her what we could use that for,,,,,,,, I ripped off the cover of the WT magazine, and proceeded to pick up a dog turd that was at the corner of the porch. Silly, I know, but we laughed and it didnt make us feel we were gonna die at Armeggedon either.
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  Honesty

  I read and study them all the time. As I resarch and compare the WTBTS publications, I get a unique sense of how and what to say to JW's who are doubting the outlandish claims of the WTS in order to help them understand how perverted this cult is when compared to the bible. It also helps to be familiar with WT 'new light' as I present information to young people about the dangers of cults and how they subtly infiltrate people's minds. You should see the look of horror on teenagers' faces as they see WT information their JW neighbors are being subjected to. I have noticed when speaking with some of them after a presentation that many of today's youth are very concerned about their neighbors and go out of their way to be kinder to their JW neighbors, workmates and classmates.

  Afraid to read WT publications? No, I welcome every opportunity and still have access to their publications from a JW friend even though I am DA'd from the WTBTS.
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  LouBelle

  I actually just can't read their publications anymore - I get sick that I was so decieved, It irritates me 'cos I know it's all lies lies lies. I've thrown all my watchtowers, awakes on most publications away. The only thing I've kept is the NWT & their Interliner greek bible, cd & insight books for comparitive study. I've left that life behind me!
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  Mysterious

  I wouldnt say Id be afraid to read them so much as the thought it just somewhat of a revulsion. I regard it like so much other trash that gets peddled today, I have better things to read. I refuse to read anything in them even if they are HIGHLIGHTED and shoved under my nose as some of my family has a habit of doing.
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  luna2

  Oddly enough, I haven't picked up a Watchtower or an Awake since I walked out of the KH for the last time over three years ago. At first there may have been some guilt and fear at play. As time has passed, the feeling that most comes to mind when I see the mags is boredom and resentment. I have no desire to waste my time trying to slog through the stuff.