As long as I can go to my meeting and quote from the book of Minimus, it will all be wonderful. I'd love to see the look on their faces when I say "shat." Hey, if the Bible can talk about spreading dung on people's faces, and "plowing with my young cow", then I can surely say "shat".
Leviathan
by myelaine 67 Replies latest watchtower bible
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minimus
Suddenly a large wind like the gas out of a rectum filled the holy place and the priests and the nuns began to convulse but this was as a sweet odor to the LORD. And the LORD GOD smiled his approval to all the Witnesses for they had used his Holy Name and the people began shouting in triumph, "O Minimus, O Holy One, you alone are the one that people shall know your wonderful and glorious name, for you have saved us from our maladies".
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minimus
Then the beasts of burden proceeded to say among themselves, "Are we just mere creatures to toil without the fruitage from our mother's womb?" So a council was formed and the angry she-bears began to roam around the earth looking for young children to eat because they were eternally pissed that no one believed in their justice, wisdom, might and love. When the children began to taunt Minimus, the angry she-bears devoured each and every child under the age of 9. The she-bears refused to harm a child 10 years and up for this would be inhumane and the she-bears would have none of that. Then Simon climbed atop a wall for he was a very, very small man. And he proceeded to shout to the little children to dance in the shepherd's way so that all the children looked like they were having convulsions. Then the she-bears and he-bears grew very jealous and conspired to kill little Simon for he had brought ostracism upon them all.
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jeanniebeanz
Blessed is he who watches, and keeps his garments, lest he walk naked and they see his shame.
Naked is.... (gulp).... bad?(hurriedly trys to find clothing)
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myelaine
Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take up the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
AMEN.
love michelle
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minimus
For one is your LORD and one is your Maker. Two plus two equals four but what is the answer to the sacred secret? Additions shall be rendered and subtractions shall occur in the final day. Divisions and multiplications will swell thy people's heads. The geometric designs of the zodiac shall perplex all the wizards and wise men of the land. The revelation will come true if you know that 2 plus 2 does not equal 4.
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Chia
I have heard talk that the answer to the sacred secret is "42", O Supreme One Minimus, from the sacred movie, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."
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myelaine
dear minimus,
it is my hope that you would put two and two together, some day soon.
love michelle
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minimus
Then the word became known and 7 times 7 Genital Times occured. And 69 weeks of years plus 1 raised the number to the 70 in the upperroom in Jerusalem during the 50thy day of Pentecost. And the 2 Witnesses died in front of all the nations and they were raised to be 144,000. but the Lord needed to be included for it was his bride so that 144,001 was the new number---not like the sands of the sea totalling all those perishing in the Final Day. I say this 3 times to emphasize the blood of the lamb and the sheep and the male rooster.
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jt stumbler
Myminimus, you really crack me up dude!