RR I am with you too. I don't believe you hate your mother. You are young and probably have a lot of anger to work through.
My mom wasn't mother of the year either, not even close. It's hard to truly forgive her because like Chia's mother, my mom always offers excuses for her bad parenting.
All i want is a sincere apology that says I was Wrong and I am sorry. No excuses! That is what get my blood boiling.
But I learned to accept her half-ass apologies and get on with my life. I love her and feel bad for her bad childhood. That is what helps me understand and put myself in check when bad feelings about her arise.