by TooOpinionated 12 Replies latest jw friends
I have, and I honestly don't seem to be getting the repercussions across. My parents and siblings are not witnesses, so when I told them about the JC letter arriving, they just shrug their shoulders and say "so what?"
Have you ever had that experience?
Its awkward- i've tried to explain it to friends of mine. It messed up because you have to start at page one and tell them what an elder is, and what the rules are. Then you have to explain reproof, disfellowhipping and disassociation. THEN you explain how they decide.
But no words will ever describe whats it like to sit in the little room in those crappy chairs and sweat...
The entire system is alien to someone that has never been a witness, they just give you very odd looks. Although a few become apalled when you explain further.
Well, my committee meeting was really perverted. (See my very first post if you want to.) So when I explain to friends in detail about the questions I was asked, and the humiliation I had to endure, they see how horrible it is. But they can't understand why I felt obligated to tell them my business. Also, my mom is a Dub, and she has already made clear that if I am disfellowshipped, or even if I am not quite disfellowshipped but lead a lifestyle not approved by the Dubs, that she will shun me and stick to Jehovah her God. When I explain that to them, they don't understand that. They say, "Well, I do things all the time my parents don't like, but they wouldn't stop speaking to me forever!" So, yeah, it can be hard to explain.
:Have you ever had that experience?
Totally know what you are saying. Normal people just don't understand how much of a hold cult's have over people. It's like trying to describe the colour red to a blind person. Every time I've ever mentioned my previous cult existence to a normie I've gotten reactions like, "That sh*t is crazy" or "Why didn't you just tell them to f**k off?" Of course I totally understand why they feel that way now because the haze of cultish prison has faded.. but when I did mention it to people in the past I was a little surprised with the reactions I got.
I love normies.
GBL
My 'worldly' husband came to my JC with me. I said that I would not meet with them unless I had him there as support. He was allowed, but not allowed to say anything. He sat there and fumed. He DID speak. He asked them how they could want to df me and not the man that abused me. They ignored him and said to me that if I left him (my husband, b/f at the time) they would not df me. My b/f did not know what the hell was going on and could not wait to get out of there. He said it was one of the most bizzare experiences of his life. Listening to men judge me when he has been taught that only God has that right.
Jez
They said my dad had the RIGHT to be there- as I am a minor. I told him to stay home because I didn't think 3 dead elders would help my case...
Every time I got in trouble at home, from the 7th grade on, my parents wouldn't punish me until they had run to the elders. That always followed with a JC meeting. It didn't matter if it was something trivial or serious. I always said my parents didn't raise me, the elders did.
When I ran away from home and went to my real dad's, they couldn't understand the concept. That was until my stepmom and I went back to Missouri to my parents to get my things. Within 10 minutes my mom had 2 elders there that lived a couple blocks away. After hearing the discussion for 10 minutes my stepmom looked at my mom and told her what she thought. Then let loose on the elders. She couldn't believe they'd be allowed to speak like that to anyone, much less have them called on a child.
I feel like I must have been in a fog the entire time I was a dub. I had no idea about what happened in JC's until I came to this board and started reading experiences. It's appalling.
I have tried explaining JW doctrine, world view, and practices to non-dubs and the reaction was like GBL related. They'd either look at me with total incomprehension or they'd get angry and pretty much ask how I could be a part of such a messed up bunch of crap. Wish I'd have been able to see it that way before I wasted so much of my life on it.
I have, and I honestly don't seem to be getting the repercussions across. My parents and siblings are not witnesses, so when I told them about the JC letter arriving, they just shrug their shoulders and say "so what?"Have you ever had that experience?
I think that is what brings so many back to this site to post. Here is the only place where you can find other people who "get it" when you tell them stuff like that. My husband and friends try to be understanding, but sometimes I think they just don't have a clue about what it was really like. Tammy
