Any good prayer stories?

Samuel Thorsen

I know an elder who once opened a prayer like this:

"Jehovah! This is XX-congregation speaking..."

Needless to say; the other elders had a little talk with him later that evening. But today he serves as a circuit overseer...

Elsewhere

Earth to Jehoover, Earth to Jehoover.... come in Jehoover. Do you read? Please respond.

*** Static ***

PaulJ

The song finished, the brother stood on the platform smirking- leant towards the mike and said-

"Im sorry brothers.... you have just caught me finishing a sweet!"

So we had to wait around 30 seconds for him to finish before he started his prayer!!!!! I think he got told off for that after tho.... during the same meeting he had had to give one of those sickly 'sex' talks about conduct between the opposite sex's and as he came off stage he screwed his notes up in one hand and (audiably to the front 2 rows) said "phew, im glad thats over!!!" -he clearly wasnt having a good day.

katiekitten

Yup at an assembly once the guy doing the last prayer had a problem in that he didnt know how to end the last sentence and then say InJesusNameAmen. Everytime he sounded like he was winding down he'd take a breath start up another thread and carry on. Honestly it went on for so long I didnt know whether to sit down and take notes or clap at the end. People were just stood there with their eyes open looking at each other sort of dazed. I think it lasted for about 20minutes. He got counelled (elder speak for bollocked).

PaulJ

The prayer at the end of EVERY assembly seems to go on and on and on..... Have you noticed there is always an audiable sigh of relief from the whole audience when it ends?

LittleToe

Katie:If it was a big black guy, then I recall the assembly, as I was there.
I started looking at my watch after a couple of minutes, and timed it!

candidlynuts

small book study, teenager reaching for privelges was allowed to say the prayer, my 2nd child was a baby.. the baby loudly filled his pants, all the lil kids around started giggling, the poor teenager praying got the giggles and could barely finish...he was actually WHEEZING trying to wind the prayer up fast, afterward he came up to me and said " i hope that wasnt the babies opinion of my praying skills!"

Undecided

Did any of you POs feel Jehovah was really listening to any of your prayers? or were you just following a routine? I can't remember how I really felt back then. I have done a good job clearing my mind of all those old must do things.

Ken P.

katiekitten

Juno little toe, I think it was!

I never felt like Jehoba was listening. I used to think it was a mind game we were playing with oursleves, and I wasnt playing it very well because as hard as I tried I couldnrt seem to believe it worked. Of course I knew it only worked if you beleived it, so I'd try harder to believe, but somehow the knowledge that I knew I was trying to believe made me not believe it. (I hope someone can follow this).

I only ever prayed for theocratic things like to place more magazines, or for other peoples suffering to be relieved, but I knew nothing was happening. I felt so wicked. I mean they said if youre not placing enough literature, pray, if you want a bible study, pray for one. I prayed my ass off and nothing ever happened. I wasnt masturbating or doing anything to jinx the prayers, so I just felt lower and lower that he wasnt listening. I never said a prayer since I left, its a big bloody con.

On the other hand this sister in our cong who was a pioneer and therefore pretty poor said she prayed to jehoba for a chip pan and lo and behold he provided one for her (I think she found it in a charity shop for 50p). So maybe i really was praying for the wrong things.

Es

Haha what great posts my story wasnt the person saying the prayer but someone in the audience. It was at a bookstudy and the brother was saying the pray one sister's seat collapsed from under her and as she fell she let out a great big fart heheheh needless to say dont think the prayer was acutally finished that night es

Any good prayer stories?

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