Field service horror/humor stories.

by sonnyboy 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  sonnyboy

  This has probably been done before, but has anyone had any scary or funny things happen to them during field service?

  I used to go door-to-door with the most obnoxious elder in the world. If we approached a house, saw signs of life, but they didn't answer the door, he'd actually go around and knock on their windows! We once came upon a house with the kitchen lights on. When we knocked on the door, the light went out and all was quiet. This kook went around to their living room window and cupped his hands around the glass so he could see inside. He then hollered, "I see you in there. Would you like to talk to us?" I nearly said, "Holy sh*t" out loud.

  A rather robust man then flew from the front door with a baseball bat and literally chased us from the yard! The stubborn elder had the nerve to drop his Watchtower in the front yard before getting in the car and said, "You may want to take a look at that. It has an article on anger management." I thought the dude was going to bash in our windows after that remark, but the wheel man was ready. We managed to escape and seek out our next victim.
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  PaulJ

  There was an elder i knew who broke wind a lot. Numerous occasions on the ministry he would try and whistle over the top of it, as if that somehow 'hid' it. He was the Service Overseer if I remember correctly.
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  greendawn

  I was out on the fs with another young guy we were about 18. Someone told us "at your age you should be thinking more about your dicks you should be out enjoying yourselves with girls not preaching the bible".
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  LouBelle

  a whole lot of us wen on rural work - we'd go for the weekend. Anyway a couple of us girls were bursting for a wee - and there were no loos in the drive-able area (except back at camp) so we find this little ditch and we decide to sit & wee - we look up and there are a whole lot of little black faces peering at us along with some younger brothers - very embaressing....
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  katiekitten

  I was pretty young out on f/s in Southampton / England. Knocked a door and a man came who began to explain he had been a witness, or his wife was one, or something. Something awful had happened, he was too emotionally overcome to tell us the details, then he collapsed in the doorway. He apologised and kind of crawled back inside. He seemed like such a sensitive delicate genuine person.

  I felt so awful that I was part of an organisation that had done so much harm to someone, although I couldnt imagine what. It made me think for a long time about the organisation in general.

  Naturally we did a back call, although again I felt terrible about 'hounding' him. Second time I think his wife told us not to come back.

  I wish I could apologise to him. It happened in 1989.
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  Mary

  Oh man, I've had all kinds of horror/humour stories from Skervice:

  * an absolutely gorgeous guy came to the door wearing only a towel since he just got out of the shower......after I stumbled thru my presentation he said "..well I'm not interested in your magazines but would you like to go out some time?" I was with an old bag of a Witness so I had to say 'no thanks' (what an idiot I was!).

  * Some creepy old slimeball tried putting a curse on me and the 10 year old kid I had with me. I swear to god he was posessed----his eyes were really yellow----kinda like Anakin Skywalker's after he turns to the dark side-----or maybe the stinking old goat just had jaundice and was mental.

  * A big fat slob came to the door naked as a jay bird. Nuff said.

  * The one and only time I went out on Christmas Day, we got invited in, seeing as everyone was bombed out of their minds. I think I placed about 10 mags at that one house. When we went back the next week, no one even remembered that we had been there.....LOL!!
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  PaulJ

  We came up to a door that was entirely see-thru clear glass, knocked and watched in horror a a dog the size of a lion ran towards us and crashed into the glass door. the brother beside me had collapsed and was staggering backwards in the flowerbed. the dog barked like a maniac until we left.

  Also I found the worst home security device ever once. It was a doorbell that sounded like an angry dog. Except it didnt- rather more like a badly recorded pathetic dog. We went back to that a few weeks later and the batteries were running low- now the sound was just a low-pitched murmer. Hilarious.
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  unique1

  Had a guy tell us once he was suicidal and if we didn't leave he would just kill himself in front of us. We promptly left and called 911.

  Had another guy offer to cook us up a mess of dog. Said it tasted just like chicken. Said he had it in Vietnam and was hooked.

  Was offered a beer and greeted by a naked person on more occassions than I care to remember.

  We were chased off multiple properties by angry home owners for not obeying their Do not Trespass signs.

  Guess that is just people in the south.
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  Chia

  One summer day my allergies were acting up. Being the dutiful Dub, I went out in service anyway, but I complained of my allergies to a sister that I was working with. She offered me Benadryl. At the time, I didn't know what Benadryl did to you. I took not one, but two of them before service. Plus, I'm only about 105 lbs. You guessed it, I started to conk out. The worst part was I didn't know what was happening to me, so it was kinda scary. It was so bad that I even volunteered to go with my friend on her return visit so I could wake up. When the guy came to the door, he was wearing nothing but his boxers and the hole was open. I could barely hold my head up so he probably thought I was checking him out, but it wasn't registering in my brain that he was exposing himself. I staggered back to the car, and the driver of the car kept droning on and on...her words were just running together...finally I said, "I hear you talking but I cannot understand a word you are saying." They had to carry me out of the car by the time they got me home!
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  Crumpet

  I remember when I was 16 going on an RV at an old people's home with an older sister. Well she didn't really prepare me for what to expect. Next thing I know I'm looking at this mad old lady (the RV) showing off her new amputation. She'd been amputated on her leg just above the knee and she was not too shy so she sat there with everything exposed including long wiry pubic hair. I shudder every time I remember that!