Witnesses sit next to me at the theater last night

by seattleniceguy 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • seattleniceguy
    seattleniceguy

    Had a bizzare experience last night. I went to see the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith (which, by the way, was pretty decent). My girlfriend and I showed up about 20 minutes before the show started, so we picked out some seats and then each went to the restroom in turn while the other watched the seats. When it was my turn, I was walking up the aisle and I saw a girl named Meg from my old hall. It was funny, because I had recently been wondering how she was doing. I always figured that of anyone in this particular hall, she was one of the most likely to be able to get out at some point. She seems strong and intelligent.

    At any rate, I couldn't help but lock eyes with her as we passed, scanning the face to be sure it was really her. It was a strange sensation, because at first I had the Witness reaction of shock and nervousness on seeing a disfellowshipped person. Of course, I immediately recognized that that nonsense did not apply to me, so I smiled to myself and walked on. Aftter I passed, I could her a voice saying, "Oh my gosh! That guy was..." trailing off.

    But then the weirdest thing happened. I'm coming back from the restroom, walking down the aisle looking for my girlfriend. It turns out that Meg has come with a group, which has sat in my row and the one behind it. Meg is sitting literally three chairs away from me. She was turned around talking to her sister (it took me several minutes to recognize her sister), so I silently stepped around her and sat down in my seat. I felt a little awkward about the thing, even though I know that of either side it is they that should feel awkward. I wonder if I should try to break the awkwardness by at least saying hello, so that we don't have to pretend that we don't see each other, so I keep looking over, waiting for someone to make eye contact with me, but they studiously avoid looking at me.

    Soon more members of the group show up. I can hear bits and pieces of their conversation: "Oh, I saw you in service today!" "Oh, I haven't met you yet...What hall are you in?" A former roommate shows up and sits behind me and two seats to my right. I'm looking back, observing their faces, and seriously, not a single one of them looks at me. We are physically six feet apart.

    They end up staying there for the entire movie (and good for them). Since they are blocking our access to the aisle, we wait for the group to leave before getting up. It's cool, because I like to watch the credits anyway. So we watch almost all the credits and then get up to leave. As we walk outside, standing in a circle in exactly the place we need to walk by, are the Witnesses. At this point, I'm thinking this is just too much. So as I walk by, I wave at Meg and mouth, "Hi!" Of course, she appears to be oblivious, but I'm sure she saw me.

    I guess it was the first time I've been shunned by a group of Witnesses like that. It seemed so weird. The strangest thing was that it somehow made me feel like I needed to avoid talking to them, when obviously that is not the case. I guess part of me just wanted to respect what I imagined they hoped would happen. But at the same time, I'm really glad I waved as I walked by at the end. At least one of the sides had the decency to acknowledge the other.

    Anyway, just thought I'd share!

    SNG

  • EscapedLifer1
    EscapedLifer1

    sng,

    It seemed so weird. The strangest thing was that it somehow made me feel like I needed to avoid talking to them, when obviously that is not the case. I guess part of me just wanted to respect what I imagined they hoped would happen. But at the same time, I'm really glad I waved as I walked by at the end. At least one of the sides had the decency to acknowledge the other.

    I know exactly what you mean. We have been shunned in the past year at Wal Mart, at the Theatre (but not sitting next to them), at restaurants, and a gas station. What is so wierd is that I sometimes feel like it would be rude of me to say something to them. Then after they are gone, I suddenly feel stupid for not saying something, because THEY are the problem, not me. I keep waffling between wanting to get in their face and embarass them, and just being a better person and take the high road and just let them be.

    Oh well...

    Brandon

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    I suppose running into a group can be tricky. But, if i meet an individual that i know, i make sure that i say a loud greeting, and generally ask them how they are.

    S

  • tetrapod.sapien
    tetrapod.sapien

    SNG,

    i am glad that you waved and said hi too. they may have shunned you, but of course, you never know who you made think, if even for just one moment. in our culture, we have pretty strong senses for what is polite and proper public behavour. you acted like a human. meg must have felt, deep down, that she was acting poorly, even if she justified it to herself consciously. but ya, is it ever akward! your girl friend must wonder how you were ever part of a club like that?

    maybe, someday, you'll get a PM here on JWD from meg, because she recognized your avatar. maybe she will have finally gotten out.

    cheers,

    TS

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    It's one of the worst feelings; a dualism of catch22 and rank injustice. You want to be the bigger person, you don't want to play their games.... but at the same time, you know when you walk away they likely say something on the order of "look at him, acting like he just doesn't get it that we don't associate with his sort".

    I ended up in a movie line next to a couple of witnesses recently, and we greeted each other enthusiastically and made small talk, albiet a bit uncomfortably. Sometimes I think it's determined in the first quarter second of recognition... you really have to flash a smile and extend an arm and make them respond quick; it's hard to be non-human when you've already been human, but if they have a minute to avoid eye contact, they can definitley get their borg on.

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    They are the victims of WT abuse, not us. I refuse to be the WT Poster Child of Apostates so I cordially greet them face to face at 5-6 feet away. If they shun me I ask how the family is doing. If they still shun me I tell them that I am praying they are open-minded enough to do some research on the WTBTS. They don't shun after that comment... they call me apostate which opens the door for me to say again that I am praying for them to be open-minded enough to research the WTBTS and that documented evidence reveals the WTS is not what it claims to be is the reason I left the organisation. I then tell them that it was great to see them again. I keep my voice low and friendly. Who knows, it may help them see we are not the demon seed the WTBTS villifies us to be.

  • jeeves
    jeeves

    interesting!

    i haven't seen a group of them since i left, thankfully. i'm a few cities over from where my congregation was.

    however, the idiot witness guy that i dated when i really wanted to give the witness thing my best effort... he used to call me annually "to see how i was doing". once he called cause he heard that i wasn't a witness anymore and wanted to confirm. nothing like a district convention for the gossip and rumour mills! i told him i was very happy and hoped he was happy one day too.

    the annual calls continued until i changed my cell phone company, and therefore my number.

    ugh, witness guys (no offense to current witness guys intended, it's just that any i knew or dated thought they were literally god's gift to women and wanted a subjective one to hang around and take care of the house...)

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan
    you really have to flash a smile and extend an arm and make them respond quick; it's hard to be non-human when you've already been human, but if they have a minute to avoid eye contact, they can definitley get their borg on.

    Good advice

  • EvilForce
    EvilForce

    Hey Jeeves, just noticed you recently starting to post ..... WELCOME.

    Read your bio too :)

  • GetBusyLiving
    GetBusyLiving

    I got hardcore shunned recently at an airport. I always try to make eye contact and smile, but I give em their space or whatever.. I don't push a conversation. Anyways this girl looked like she had seen a ghost or something - absolute horror, and booted it for the nearest exit when we made eye contact! What was particularly funny about the chick is that we've talked before I left the BOrg about how she has done so much shit that she could be disfellowshiped for but just decided she woudn't confess to the elders because she didn't know any of them very well and it was over a year ago. The hypocracy was just classic funny/sad.

    GBL

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