Hello-New Again and Pierced!

by Pierced Angel 16 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Pierced Angel
    Pierced Angel

    Hi everyone,

    I've posted in the past under the nic, "doubting sister", but I'm no longer doubtful. I'm TOTALLY CONVINCED, the witnesses are just another religion like any other. Actually, I consider them a cult, but I think many religions have cultish tendencies anyhow, so I'll refrain from calling them that for now.

    Because of this site I've been able to see things more clearly and I'm feeling better about leaving. I don't have that guilt clouding over my life like I used to have. I used to think that I wasn't going to make it through Armageddon because deep down I hated having to go to meetings, assemblies and out in service. I did it only because I had to and the only real joy came when I'd have a good heart to heart with someone informally. I think I was most supportive to family and friends who were disfellowshipped. I always tried to treat them with respect and love. I've been told by my aunt that I was always what she thought a real Christian should act like. I guess that's why I started to question things about the Society and it's teachings.

    My mother is hanging on deep to this religion and the more I pull away, the more she tries to "encourage" me. That part really stresses me out sometimes, but I try to give her little pieces of information that she can think about. My brother's death several years back has made her more motivated to be close to Jehovah since she wishes to see him in the "new system". I don't want to take that hope away from her since I have nothing factual to give her to replace it. That's the really difficult part, wondering what to believe anymore. I think it's making me take each day and live it up to the fullest, but it also makes me very sad sometimes.
    I've done some things that I normally wouldn't do. I experienced a lot of pain, grieving if you will, when I learned the truth about the "truth".
    I took my husband out one night dancing and decided to get a piercing. It was a vertical hood piercing and it was my way of rebelling I think. I've always had strong sexual urges, but never acted on many because I thought it wouldn't be right to even think about, let alone do such things. I must say, this has made me feel very liberated sexually and it's something that my witness friends would never, ever believe I had. I'm a good girl, never do anything, no tattoos, barely any makeup, very down to earth. I'm more open about things too and I'm very much against anyone telling me what to do or what to think. Nobody can do that, nobody.

    I celebrated my children's birthdays for the first time this year and it felt wonderful. It also felt awkward and I secretly felt socially retarded for not having candles for their cakes! DUH! We're going to have a blast at Halloween! I've always loved dressing up. I'm thinking about being Lara Croft, LOL! I can't sew, but I'll hire someone if I have to to make my kids the best costumes ever. I used to be the one who would host parties for the kids at the hall and of course, at my own cost and time. Hardly any parents would want to help. They usually saw it as an opportunity to drop t heir kids off while they went shopping or something.

    Anyway, I wanted to say hi again and I look forward to sharing in the discussions. I'd like to meet for coffee next time the group in Toronto gets together. It's a drive, but sounds like fun.

    Anne

  • Commie Chris
    Commie Chris

    Hello Angel, and welcome. I am quite new here as well - I joined about a month ago. I look forward to seeing you in Toronto the next time the group here gets together.

    - Chris

  • Pierced Angel
    Pierced Angel

    Hi Commie!

    As long as I know ahead of time I'll be able to make it. It's sort of a long haul, but I love Toronto. It's so unlike the small town I live in. The driving on a Friday afternoon is scary though, I'm not used to that!

    "Too much of a good thing, is wonderful."

    Mae West

  • Jon672
    Jon672

    Hi Pierced Angel, welcome from another Newbie!

    About the guilt trip and jabs your Mom is giving you, I've been there too. I hope someday she will let you be who you want to be. It took a few years for my Mom to lay off the comments. One day she got particularly preachy with me, and I told her I didn't want to hear it, I'm responsible for my own life, not her. Things got better after that.

    Sorry to hear about your brother too.

    Like you, I have a child and I am very glad I pulled away from the Witnesses before she got too old (she was only 4 when her Mom and I quit going to meetings--I've since divorced). My daughter is free to make up her own mind about what she believes.

    Good luck on your Laura Croft outfit!

    Jon
    Utah, USA

  • Pierced Angel
    Pierced Angel

    Good luck on your Laura Croft outfit!

    It's not really the outfit I'm worried about! LOL.

    Thanks, nice to meet normal people who care about how their kids are raised. My kids have always been my first priority and I can see how much happier they are already and they had no problems with celebrating birthdays. We go to the beach or the park now instead of to the meetings on Sundays and it feels great!

    Do you still teach your daughter to pray to Jehovah or anything like that? I'm at a loss of what to teach them and my son (age 5) still talks about Jehovah making us alive again (usually after seeing something awful happen on tv or something).

    It's always something I guess.

    "Too much of a good thing, is wonderful."

    Mae West

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Fellow pierced sister -

    Welcome! Thank you for sharing your story. I am so relieved to hear that another one has broken free. I delight in your presence on this board!!! One of these days, I hope to have my JW family joining me on this board as well. One of these days...

    As for your piercing - you go girlie! Mine was a very liberating experience as well. It was a total turn on for me! If any of my old JW friends were to find out, they'd be shocked. I was always so sweet and submissive. Haha!

    As for holidays - celebrate them to the fullest. My first birthday was my 20th after I was DFed. It was wonderful! So was my first Halloween. I dressed up as a Playboy bunny. Christmas was even better. The love that my "worldly" friends surrounded me with was amazing! I realized that they really were celebrating the glory of Christ. Not some commercialized gift exchange day like the JW's said it was.

    My friends today laugh at the fact that I take birthdays and holidays so seriously. They think I act like a big kid! Am I? Of course. When somebody is freed from living the oppressing life of a JW, she personally becomes convicted to celebrate LIFE (not just holidays) to the absolute fullest! I hope that my childish wonder about Christmas and Easter is contagious. I hope it reminds others that those days have a PURPOSE. That they are reminders of who we are to each other and what is important to our lives.

    I wish you the best PA! The very, very best! Welcome to the board!

    Love,
    Billygoat

  • peterstride
    peterstride

    Hi PiercedAngel,

    I added your e-mail address to my list of ex-JWs near Toronto that I'll notify when we decide on the next get together.

    How many hours will it take you to drive in to Toronto? (Where do you live?) Would it be easier if we have the get together on a Saturday afternoon/evening so that you can drive in Saturday morning, then stay overnight in Toronto and return on Sunday?

    Let me know.

    This is also for you OutnFree...would a weekend be better for you, since you're driving in from Michigan?

    See you all soon,

    Peter Stride
    Toronto, Canada
    [email protected]

  • think41self
    think41self

    Hi Anne,

    Welcome (back) to the board.

    I am glad you are at a place now where you are free of that residual guilt...that stuff is a bummer. And I could really relate to your enjoyment of the holidays, since we were deprived of them our whole lives, I think we try to make up for missed fun. I know I do. Keep talking to others about your pain and grieving, I think a lot of ex JW's do not give enough attention to this...in essence many of us "lost" our families when we left, just as surely as if they had died. That is A LOT of grieving to do, and it needs to be addressed. My husband wrote a really good article on this subject on his website at www.empowerthespirit.com...it is called "Who Am I?" Let me know what you think. It helped me a lot.

    think41self

    "When agnostics die, do they go to the great perhaps"?

  • slipnslidemaster
    slipnslidemaster

    Pierced Angel, your story sounds so much like mine regarding the rebelling, sexually open, and holidays.

    Social retard is the term that I use to describe myself when it comes to that stuff too. It's funny because I've been doing the holidays for 3 years now and I still feel a little weird like I'm not doing it right or something. I always go overboard and freak out about every little detail.

    Oh well, welcome to the board and you are not alone.

    Slipnslidemaster: "The gods too are fond of a joke."
    - Aristotle

  • Pierced Angel
    Pierced Angel

    I'm not looking in the right place cuz I didn't see that article, but the other ones are really fantastic. I'll explore some more, I'm sure it will turn up.

    Thanks for the warm welcome.

    Anne

    "Too much of a good thing, is wonderful."

    Mae West

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