Fading away problems.

greendawn

Many people decide to fade away from the org gradually so as not to have to suffer the sanctions of being disfellowshipped or disassociated and if all goes according to plan it works well.

Are there any cases where things somehow went wrong and the objective to quietly leave failed, your one or that of other people?

Forscher

Since I am a work in progress on that one, I don't really have anything along that line to share. I've been fading for a couple of years now. For a long time, I never even heard a word from the elders. Suddenly, since the new book came out, I've had an elder try to talk to me several times. So far I've ignored him.

Of course it might not be due to what we've seen discussed on this forum about the elders might have instruction to deliver ultimatums to inactive ones. I recently discovered that several people my wife and I have talked to are Df'd. They didn't tell me they were, so that might be the issue. Since I haven't had a formal summons, I don't know. If I do find out that an announcment has been made on me, I'll let folks know.

If they are stupid enough to do that, then they are not going to like the story that I will post here and a few other places to boot! So far I've tried to keep a certain amount of anonymity because my wife wants the lines of communication to stay open with her parents who are still on the inside. To that end, I've been a little vague on a few things. But if they want to play hard-ball, then I won't hesitate tell my story and name names while I'm at it. You'd probably love it!

Forscher

Honesty

I faded for almost 3 years until my then dub wife now dub ex-wife started calling the elders saying I could do everything but wouldn't go to meetings or say why I didn't want to go anymore. The all hell broke loose for about a year and a half until I found out about the UN and Bulgarian blood issue and DA'd myself from the hypocritical demonised cult.

Jourles

Are there any cases where things somehow went wrong and the objective to quietly leave failed

Big time here. I was fading quite nicely until I decided to become a little more high profile and basically asked for the WTS to come after me. I found out the hard way that the WTS doesn't like having their precious Body of Elders letters posted on the web....along with many other items of interest.

My advice to anyone trying to fade --- stay away from this board. It's addictive and you might just post something that will give your identity away. Or, if the elders/WTS find out about your involvement on this board, you are toast unless you have something on them.

Jourles, still wondering how Mulan and hubby are not df'd by now....

xmj12

I moved about forty miles away to a different city because of work and never had any further interest in going back. I was fading before that and must have been somewhat concerned at that time since I went to a few meetings. It has been a couple of years since I moved and now I could care a less about any of it. If they get some power trip out of announcing I left, let them have their pathetic attempt at trying to make me feel bad. It won't work. I cannot even be mad at them or the whole organization anymore since to have anger you have to care in some way and I simply do not.

Euphemism

Jourles... I'm sorry that happened to you, but I appreciate the service you did in hosting those letters. I read them when I was a doubting dub, and some of them--especially the one on handling child abuse--were very difficult to rationalize away.

To answer greendawn's question... my wife and I were fading, but the problem was me and my big mouth. We were friends with a relatively liberal and open-minded JW, and after a couple of interesting discussions, I decided to confide in her. She promised to keep our secret, and then blew it two days before our wedding. But that's been hashed over plenty elsewhere...

TheListener

I'm still in the process of fading. The only reason I care about fading versus da'ing myself is family.

My concern is the new trend about asking if you consider yourself a witness or not. You see in the past a successful fader could eventually do anything in life they wanted without worry about being considered da'd or df'd because the community and congregation did not consider them a witness any longer. However, now if you want to avoid being announced as no longer a witness you must state that you consider yourself a witness. Now fading no longer really represents any type of freedom from the borg. You will always have df/da hanging over your head.

What to do, what to do, what to do....

I will add this: By fading and not going out as an angry mad seething apostate spewing venom (as we know all apostate typically are ) my family has seen that I'm a good person and maybe, just maybe this will work in my favor if I'm ever announced as not a JW anymore.

Bumble Bee

I'm a looooonnnnggg time fader.

It's been about 10 years since I've handed in a service report (gawd has it really been that long?????)

It's been three years since I've been to a meeting. I'm not sure about the upcoming DA - I usually go with my mom for atleast some of it. This year though I'm suffering with a bad back and I'm not supposed to sit for more than 15 minutes without getting up and doing exercises, so I think I have a good excuse to miss most of it. The arena is only about a 15 min drive from my place, so I could come and go for parts of it no problem. This way family and "friends" from our old hall see us and nobody is the wiser to us not going anymore.

We've had the odd visit over the last couple of years. We were asked if we still thought this was the truth. I loved the way my hubby answered - "well, I think there's still truth out there to be found." They never really said much after that. I think it was one of those "things that make you go hmmmm" moments for them.

BB

greendawn

Listener, you mention that now a fader has to declare himself a JW still, or else be thought of as disassosiated and thus shunned by the borg, but can't they just say "yes I am a JW" and still carry on fading? Do they have to become active JWs?

AK - Jeff

Listener, you mention that now a fader has to declare himself a JW still, or else be thought of as disassosiated and thus shunned by the borg, but can't they just say "yes I am a JW" and still carry on fading? Do they have to become active JWs?

GD - from what I hear, in the places where they are doing this, it is presented more like a 'loyalty oath'. I would imagine they 'follow up' and try and get you to meetings ect. If they suspect that you are disingenuous in your comments they will prob try and ferret you out. It would be worth a try if it does not bother you to lie about it - but for wifey and me, since we left due to the lies, I doubt we would play the game. Jeff

Fading away problems.

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