Bi-Sexual

misguided

I guess my new-found freedom of personal expression is working its way down to my kids.

I came home from a crazy day at work, ate my dinner, was loading the dishwasher, when my 13-year-old son says,

"Mom, I have something to tell you - I'm bisexual...I've been that way for a year now."

I just don't know what to think. I still can't help but have my old JW brain at work, thinking this is not okay - kind of like, I'm an apostate with a bisexual son...what will my family say?! Can you please help me deal with this?

Do you think it's all the estrogen around him - a single mom and 4 sisters?

Rose

Netty

This is a guess, I dont know, my kids are still little, but maybe at this age, he still doesnt really know exactly what he is yet. He could just be at a stage of discovery. Does he know what the word bi-sexual really means?

skyman

Call me old fashioned but how could a kid that age even know? If he has not had sex I would not worry because he probably whating to get an reaction out of you. Don;t give him one.

FlyingHighNow

Do you think it's all the estrogen around him - a single mom and 4 sisters?
Rose

I don't think so. If that were so, my dad would be gay. Lemme tell you something: He AIN'T gay.

I think being attracted to both sexes is what makes someone bi. Try not to worry. Be careful not to close the lines of communication. Love your child. Above all, don't let this make you feel bad about yourself. What's wrong with being an apostate anyway? Doesn't this make you smarter than those JW's that are still snowed?

doofdaddy

Most adolescent males go through a stage of having deep emotional/sexual feelings for another male. It dosn't necessarily set their sexuality in stone. The hormones are racing. Ever observed a a male puppy? They are as randy as hell and mistake any affection as an invitation for sex(like your leg!!). I've been working with teens for a long time and had two of my own. It'll probably pass but if not love him anyway, he's your best boy...

Insomniac

I don't have kids, but I can remember being one. At thirteen, most of us are full of hormones we have no clue what to do with. At that age, I for one was in a constant fever of sexual energy with nothing to focus it on. Your boy sounds normal.

However, and I don't mean to worry you, it's important to remember that humans are rarely ever 100% straight or gay. Most of us have a preference for one gender over the other, but it's normal to feel attractions toward both sexes, at least on occasion.

misguided

I asked him if he knew what that meant. He tells me that means he likes both girls and boys in a sexual way. I tried not to look shocked. (Maybe unsuccessfully?) I thought that possibly it's just a phase he's going through, yet I don't want to deny it either, or make him feel bad in any way if he really does know. He has never been a really "boyish" type of boy. He's always been rather nurturing in nature.

I DON'T even want to ask if he's had sex. Although I don't think he has, but I'm afraid to ask just in case the answer is yes, because I'm not sure I'm ready for that. He's a pretty good kid, and doesn't usually do things to "shock" me.

Honestly, I haven't given him an reaction at all. I just retreated to my room...and chose to "dump" on you all.

Thank you for your help.

Insomniac

He was pretty brave to tell you this about himself, and he obviously trusts you a lot. You must have a good relationship with him. I hope all works out ok for you both.

PopeOfEruke

A saw a T-shirt once which read "Be Bi-sexual - and double your chances"

Sort of makes sense I guess - at least there's a bright side to everything! :-)

Pope

darkuncle29

I DON'T even want to ask if he's had sex. Although I don't think he has, but I'm afraid to ask just in case the answer is yes, because I'm not sure I'm ready for that. He's a pretty good kid, and doesn't usually do things to "shock" me.

So many things, and I am probably not the best one to articulate on this, but I will try.

This is not about you. This is not your fault. You did not "do" this.

This is about your son. If he knows the words and uses them correctly when reffering to himself, then it is very likely he understands what he is saying to you.

You're afraid to talk about sex with your son? You can not afford to hide from this issue. You need to make shure that he is safe (safer). You owe it to him, and you owe this to yourself.

I think it would be reasurring to him for you to thank him for being open and honest, as sharing this kind of thing with a parent is not easy, even at 27.

Who knows, maybe this is just a phase. But as he matures and he becomes the man he will be, he may go more towards either end of the spectrum.

I do not mean to sound preachy or judgemental at all. I went (am still going?) throught this mostly on my own. The coming out process for me was somewhat adversarial, but has settled down now. I think you have a valuable opportunity to work with your son, and help him be a well adjusted, happy human being.

I wish you the best. If you want, I am open to PMing or speaking with you.

Bi-Sexual

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