I Had A Vision And Am Going To Return To The KH

by Honesty 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    That's right!! I am going to go back to the WTBTS/JW religion and confess my sins of apostasy to the elders.

    Just a soon as the WTBTS...

    Quits DF'ing the sheep and provides loving professional help and compassion to see them through their troubles.

    Abolishes the WT magazine Study Articles and uses only the bible to institute and apply JW doctrine.

    Sells all WT real estate holdings and uses the $ to feed the poor, clothe the naked and heal the sick.

    Institutes autonomy for all KH's and allows them to be self-sustaining and self-governing.

    Designates all contributions, donations, beneficial proceeds from insurance policies and inheritances from wills towards an International Mission Board to further the Good News about Jesus as King.

    Appoints elders by Holy Spirit and scriptural qualifications instead of by FS hours and kiss-ass abilities.

    Allows women to take the lead in prayer services, mission trips, bible study classes and does away with the BS about wearing a funky chunk of out dated threads on their head.

    Does away with waking up and pissing people off on Saturday mornings.

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    well i'll join you then

    tijkmo of the not holding my breath class

  • 95stormfront
    95stormfront

    don't think it's gotten tht cold in hell yet.....

  • sweet tee
    sweet tee

    I'm going back too. As soon as hell freezes over (tick tick tick tick tick) LOL

    I like the changes you suggest though Honesty. Why don't we start a aposta-petittion to the guttless body suggesting reform and wait for their respons (tick tick tick tick tick).

  • sonnyboy
    sonnyboy

    I'll go back when God has the balls to prove his existence by showing himself and telling the world that the JWs are the one true religion.

  • katiekitten
    katiekitten

    ROFL - Sweet Tee - Apsota-petition!!

    It would have to be called exactly that though for full impact - they wouldnt dare touch the envalope it came in.

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    I LOVE IT!!!

    u/d (of the count me in class)

  • love2Bworldly
    love2Bworldly

    Honesty--you scared me by your thread title. (heaves a sigh of relief)

    By the way--don't know if you saw the thread about males vs females, but I used to think you were female until I saw your little boy symbol. Sorry

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    Honesty honestly knows that the WTS will never change on a single point of the above and I like that charity part, the catholics the jews and the moslems do charity work as a fundamental religious duty but the jws say jehovah will provide just pray. Conclusion: no christian spirit in the WTS but rather a business spirit.

  • Honesty
    Honesty
    I used to think you were female until I saw your little boy symbol. Sorry

    Sex change operations are expensive and may require blood transfusions.

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