I have apologized to my friends.I explained how I was taught to judge.They basically just feel bad of what I went thru.
Apologies for JW shunning
by greendawn 15 Replies latest jw friends
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carl_in_florida
I was never a JW but I have been a part of 2 different churches that did many of the same things. I have shunned, and gossiped about, and judged, lots of folks that the leadership said were no longer any good.
One day I finally was able to leave that demented non-church and realized that most of the things I believed about these people were based on what the "leadership" told me. After I realized that their discernment was really judgement, my wife and I could not believe how badly we had treated people while thinking that we were pleasing God. Just utter nonsense.
We began to call people and appologize. Though people reacted differently, we were amazed how much healing it brought when people are told, "You are not the person we said you were. You did not deserve to be treated that way. Will you forgive us?"Every single person did forgive us though we are not done. Shortly after we left said non-church, the leaders stood up in front of the non-church members and said that we should be avoided. This was the first time in that non-churches history that someone was shunned from the non-pulpit. This was a little special treat reserved just for us. We took comfort in Matthew 5:10-12
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Our big sin was telling people how bad the system was, while we were still in a leadership position. All kinds of evil was spoken about us to people that we really cared about and we are sure that they believed it but we understand because we believed the same kinds of stuff about others when we were under the veil. Since then people have come to us as they left the group and asked our forgiveness and we were able to tell them that we forgave them when it happened.
hth
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Thegoodgirl
Great topic. I have often thought of starting this one. Yes, for sure I want to say sorry for shunning, and especially sorry for reporting my friends to the elders. That was idiotic and ridiculous. It was so hard to do, so I should have stopped and thought why does this feel wrong? Never again. I'm so sorry Sheryl and especially Danielle.
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Frog
I'm sure that most of us would have experienced both sides of shunning, and naturally feel quite repulsed that we could have dished out such cruel behaviour. I think though that honestly most of those that went before us had the ability and experience to see what exactly our motivations were. They just like us would have no doubt dished out some form of shunning too. I think for most of us this horrid behaviour isn't personal, or malicious and therefore cannot really be taken so. We know that the org controls those inside by mind gripping fear, this is the only thing that could possibly force friendships and loved ones apart in the most unnatural way. So although we should be a little grieved, I don't believe we should beat ourselves up about it. It is great that we can reconnect with those that went before us, and given time, and building trust I believe our relationships can be stored to better, more honest, and unconditional than it ever was before when we were trapped inside the org. frog x
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colorado5591
"My baby sister took the iniative to seek me out. Im glad she did because I was afraid that I didnt deserve to be forgiven by her. The same is true of a dear cousin of mine. Both took the time to find me and try to begin our relationships a new."
You were just jealous because I was ousted and you were still in........muah!
Life has taught me that it takes way more energy to maintain grudges or become victims of our own pride. We all deserve forgiveness, yes, even you. All we have is each other. My love for you has never changed, mutual understanding and appreciation was all that changed, never my love. Let's just say our relationship was on Sabbatical eh? -
LouBelle
one thing I held true to was "do unto others as you would have do unto you". So in saying that I could never bring myself to shun anyone - just didn't seem human. Some of them were friends, others were people on a "hello" basis. I was still polite - didn't seem Jesus way so it wasn't going to be mine.
But as IP_Sec I also had someone deliberately shun / ignore me. On thursday morning(16th June) A JW sister waved and greeted me, come saturday morning she saw me again and deliberately ignored me & had a very stoney look on her face - I just smiled - felt slightly condemed but didn't let it ruin my day.