Do you have someone you trust?

myjourney

Hi, I'm a newbie around here. I've been reading the posts, but reluctant to step out of my safe zone. I definitely see how coming to a safe place to ask questions, vent, etc. is reassuring.

So, just curious. Since JW Land wants JW'S only associating with other JW'S. Do you have anyone you trust to confide in about your questions, doubts, fears, etc.?"

Personally, I can find the process extremely lonely and frustrating. Sometimes, I just want to verbally vent and have a friend willing to just listen. It's kind of hard to connect with others when your life has been restricted to exclusively J Dubbs.

Unexpectedly, a few months ago I met someone at work that is that type of person...they even gave me my first birthday and Christmas present. I honestly didn't realize how important it was for me to be able to just talk things through in an adult conversation without fear of being reprimanded.

How do you cope? Do you have a trusted friend, do you journal, come to this site,...? Wondering how you all manage the isolation that can come with discovering "the truth!"

Thanks!

smiddy

Welcome myjourney , you can vent all you want , you can ask questions all you want ,you can crticise all you want , and no one will judge you or haul you before a judicial committee for speaking your mind or exercising your brain ,

You can be non persona here and in time you may forge freinds with who you come to trust and pm .

On the other hand dont hold back in forging freindships outside of the org., their are many goodhearted people out their in the so called " satans system" who by the way put their money where their mouth is in bulding and equipping hospitals ,feeding the poor looking after the homeless ,shelters for women suffering domestic violence ,providing help/finances in national and international disasters for everybody regardless of race or religion ,unlike jehovahs witnesses who only provide for their own and that in a limited way.

smiddy

goingthruthemotions

hello Myjourney, welcome to the board. i have found many nice people here that i could talk with. mainly because they understand. Rest assured though.....you cannot trust any JDUB at the hall, no matter how relaxed you think they are. they are cult minded.

if it's a person not associated with the dub's, talking with them is good. but very hard...because they don't understand. to a person who is not brainwashed, the things the dub's do is so trivial.

tread lightly, Read Steve Hassan books, Crisis of Consience.

take it slow and always remember it's a cult. once your awake to TTATT, you can't undo it.

Shalom and Merry Christmas and Happy New year.

If i could turn back time, i would have never got involved with this cult.

GTT,

crazyguy1

I helped to wake up a friend and can talk to him. Its wonderful and with out this I think it would be very hard. A place like this is the only other option.

exwhyzee

It's difficult to tell your JW story to someone who's never been a JW before. They really don't quite get what the big deal is and what took you so long to figure things out. That's one of the main reasons why this site is so helpful. You have an opportunity to safely tell your tale of woe to people who really get what you're saying.

The first 2 actual people I talked to about it with were good friends who I grew up with and had left the organization a long time ago themselves. It was good to reconnect with them and hear their take on leaving the JW's. So that method worked out well.

The third person I talked to about it was a non JW. It was while I was part of organizing a civic volunteer group through my job. There was a Church Pastor in my group and in the course of our working together he brought up the topic of religion. I told him my leaving JW story (which involved my father dying because of the blood issue and our Son being wrongfully disfellowshipped.) Long story short, he was appalled at the way the JW's had intervened in our "salvation and personal relationship with God." He said as a Pastor it was his job to teach and assist his congregation how to live by God's word. To advise people but not be an enforcer of interpreted rules or someone who doles out punishments.

Anyway, I hope you are careful what you say to other JW's and instead find this site a helpful outlet in the process of sorting out your JW related conundrum .

jhine

Hi , Myjourney , welcome . I am a never a JW member of the Anglican Church (one of those awful Trintarians !) . I started coming onto this forum because I realised , having had many discussions with JWs at the doorstep just how , well in some cases , downright deceptive some of their teaching is . Also I have gotten to know on as personel a level as possible some local JWs and started to realise just how controlled they are by the Watchtower . I have learnt a lot from the forum and research into history and theology as well . So if you have questions about other Bible faiths I am here .

The Searcher

I have two or three trusted friends who are still in, and are all disillusioned by various things the Org's chariot is throwing up in its wake - especially the money-grabbing!

ToesUp

Welcome. I have recently joined this site and have read and received some great advice. This site will reassure you that you are not the problem. It is the crazy cult you are affiliated with. For years...I kept asking myself..."what is wrong with me?" It's not you! Once you start reading the things that have been done to some JW's (abuse) you will have an "ah ha" moment.

When you have been raised a JW you have been taught (brainwashed) that everyone that is not a JW is pure Evil. I thought this too. I have started getting to know non JW's better. I have found that some (the majority) are very nice people. Give them a chance.

Pay attention to the news. Look at all the wonderful people who give to charities, care for other people or who give of their time/money. If someone needs food or shelter, it is provided by caring people. They are out there.The JW's tell you to trust in Jehovah and give you a tract, magazine or book. There is good and evil in everything. Good and bad JW's...Good and bad non JW's. Just choose carefully. Open your heart and you may find some new friends.

confuzzlediam

myjourney, this is a great place to come vent your concerns. It is extremely difficult to find someone on the inside to trust your feelings to. I found that even talking to some who were disfellowshipped, would not listen to me when I would start to talk against the society, which I found to be quite frustrating. If they believed, why were they not making any effort to go back??

Those who have never been a witness ARE very good listeners, yes, as my best friend has been there for me for years. But she does not completely understand what it's like to be in our shoes. She is empathetic and supportive and has been there for me for over 20 years now!! Proof that you can find AWESOME, LOYAL friends who are NOT witnesses!!! I have found MANY more since I was disfellowshipped and they have renewed my belief that there are good people out there who love you for who you are, not for the number of meetings you go to or how many hours you submit each month for field service. They are true friends who love you unconditionally!!

It was not until I was wrongfully disfellowshipped 5 years ago next month that I really started questioning the organization. My sis had been on the cusp of disbelief for a few years before my disfellowshipping, but after I was disfellowshipped, she was done. Same with my dad. Fortunately, I have those 2 that I can talk with openly about my realizations as to the "truth". It helps to air my grievances to my sis and to my dad. When I talk to my dad, whom I look up to and trust, I KNOW that if he has questions and doubts, that there is something seriously wrong with the organization.

I am a much better person since leaving. I don't feel the weight of guilt anymore that the society puts upon us. I am still coming around to finding exactly what I DO believe in. BUT I know what I DON'T believe in anymore and that is freeing.

Feel free to message me, if you would like to talk some more. This is a difficult journey, but one that is eye opening and as I mentioned above...freeing on so many levels.

Peace to you as you move forward in your quest for truth and answers.

troubled mind

Welcome myjourney ! It was very lonely at first when I began questioning what I had been raised to believe . Family and other JW were so defensive when I raised even innocent questions . I found a friend in someone at work that was a great listener ,but I think the greatest help was coming to this forum for venting ! Any time day or night I could post on here and have almost an immediate response .

Please feel free to vent ,but also realize this is a huge group of personalities and the responses you get may not all be what you expected . Many times in the beginning of posting I was offended by comments ,they felt raw and harsh . Over time though I began to realize that is how real people talk to each other honestly ,no more fake telling you only what you want to hear .

I hope you will find the support you need . Some can come from online ,but it is important to reach out to others for face to face time . Your workmate is a great choice ,also consider local ex-jws you may know but have lost contact with . Join a club or sport related group ,something outside of the religious aspect to broaden your social contact .

Do you have someone you trust?

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