Eagerness To Shun Bound To Fade (page 2)

tetrapod.sapien

englishman,

i hope so badly that you are correct.

however, we would still have so much distance between us, i don't know that conversations would be like they used to.

As Skully said....once you quit caring then they come running. In their minds everyone WANTS to be a JW, they just sometimes can't live up to the requirements. I would venture to say almost all active JW's feel this way. When you honestly quit caring one iota they can't figure out what is wrong. How could you possibly not care about being shunned? OMG...we need to figure out what's going on. It's all about power. Remove the power trip and JW's don't know what to do.

It's like when my parents are stunned at my belief system. How could I not "KNOW" what happens after death? More importantly how can I not "CARE"?!? When I tell them I'm not so naive as to wonder what does happen, but really can't know for sure, so just live as fully as I can today, and tomorrow will take care of itself. JW's are used to having "answers" for everything....so the unknown strikes fear into them.

MegaDude

I laughed out loud and told Mr Scully to look at how stupid she was making herself appear. He started laughing too. Sister Head Up Her Arse was defeated, humiliated, visibly embarrassed and more hostile than a cat in a burlap sack. She quickly paid for her things and left. We had taken her power away by pointing out just how ridiculous she was being and laughing at her stupidity.

Scully,

That's a classic! I love it!!!!

Eman,

My brother keeps trying to shun me. He's like a rollercoaster. Months will go by with nary a word from him. Then all of a sudden, he will show up and we'll get together and have a great old time... just like it used to be before I DA'd myself.

About two months ago his hardcore JW fanatic wife was out of town and he came over to my house for three nights in a row. We both really enjoyed it, until he started to leave. He hugged me goodbye and his expression turned to pure grief. He tried to hold it back and then bent double at the waist trying to control his emotions and exploded into tears and crying. He kept saying "I can't take it. I can't take it. I miss my family. All of this wasted time that has gone by."

It was sad, but I made my peace a long time ago. I didn't have much emotion to even express at that moment. I made up my mind a long time ago I wouldn't shun him, regardless of how he treated me, but neither would I ever expect anything or need anything from him... that I would simply enjoy any time we got to spend together and leave it at that. It felt good not to be sad about it.

fleaman uk

Crumpet

Your Story is very sad.I dont think your being pathetic in your grasping at straws...following People who look like Mum,tentative texting ...you are doing what is natural for all People...the need to be near and with Family.

I feel for you ..eff me this shunning policy really proves that God is nowhere near that Religion.

Have a Flower from me ..with all my very best.

Flea (takes a lot to move me)

BlackSwan of Memphis

Crumpet,

You never know. At least you're trying. You won't know if you don't.

The more that comes out about the society, the more people, the ones we might never have thought, just might come around and at the very least be a part of your life again.

While nothing replaces family, at least you found your way here.

Meagan

Netty

I've kind of noticed in comes and goes in waves. Like you said, it is so unnatural a thing, that after a while, they get lax. But then, some friggin assembly part, or reminder in the service meeting or whatever, then they get all strict about it again.

Why Georgia

We had dinner this weekend with some of our Ex-JW friends who are DA'd.

My friend said something so wise.

She said " I have 4 kids, I knew one of them was going to do something bad....and there was going to be no way I wouldn't talk to someone who had grown in my body."

She said it was the actions of people towards those that were DF'd and DA'd that helped her see the truth about the Troof..

WG

stillajwexelder

See, I think that shunning someone is a really un-natural thing to impose on someone. It goes against all of our instincts if that person hasn't personally hurt us. I just don't think it's possible for a normal person to keep it up for ever if it involves a relative or close friend. I'd be surprised if many can keep it up for more than a few years.

I would have to agree with you englishman especially if you truly believe 1 John 4 vs 8

jimakazi

Family members can still associate with family members but should avoid spritiual fellowship, so when the non JW's get home form the meeting you wouldn't chat about about the great meeting, you could talk about work, cars, news etc.

A JW wife still has to obey her DF'd husband as head of the house, and show respect, as do any children [except where he goes against the JW's like saying don't go to the meeting.. They could not up and leave unless the husband was engaged in conduct that is grounds for divorce.

I know there are JW's who go to extremes but they are out of line, and their conduct should be raised with the elders if this is the case [hey they might get DF'd too!]

The JW religion definately is seriously flawed, but sometime I do wonder if a few of the posters here are really ex JW's, or just people with a big chip on their shoulder messing with those who are still JW's who frequent the site.

Panda

Crumpet, Sorry about your family situation.

Eman, It's good news about your family.

Personally, the only relative who was a dub was my husband. And It wasn't too long after I DA'd that he saw how I was treated. He actually cared more about it than I did. Eventually he stepped down as an elder and finally faded. I know that I was real lucky that he was such a reasonable person. This past year I've heard from a few newly exdubs... they are fading. I'm glad they've gotten in touch.

Eagerness To Shun Bound To Fade