Mothers Doubts: Latest Update (page 2)

willyloman

Take the Zen approach and let her be. Once you learn the "truth" about "the truth," it sometimes obligates you to be the adult in the relationship. That appears to be the situation here. She has no place else to go, so don't pull the rug out from under her. It sounds like she's going to be willing to let you wander off on your own path and still love you. That's a win-win in this situation.

Sirona

DB

That is a very loving thing to do. Considering that she refused to look at the documentation, I would say she has made her decision not to even consider that the JWs are wrong.

Same thing happened with my mum when a CO told her the UN issue was apostate lies.

As you say, if her health isn't good and she likes the social life, maybe you should just let her be. That way, you'll still have a relationship.

Sirona

ezekiel3

Wow what a sticky place to be. All propagated by WT lies too.

I would still recommend that you expose her to the fact that she has been lied to by showing her the UN link. A simple statement that the elders are lying to her and that you have proof (UN website) is a basic truth she needs to know.

Otherwise you join in the deception of your mother's lala land by proxy.

If she still does not accept the UN website (and this is very possible) then you are morally clear. You can only show her the door, she has to walk through it. But please don't lock that door with the elders' key.

Mary

My mother hasnt got long on this earth given her health and she is happy in the situation she is in; if she discovered the truth about the truth I dont think she would survive

This is my situation too........my parents are getting up there and while I know that deep down they realize that something is seriously wrong with their calculations and false-date settings, it's all they know and I think if they knew the truth about TheTruth, it'd finish them off.

Netty

My mother hasnt got long on this earth given her health and she is happy in the situation she is in; if she discovered the truth about the truth I dont think she would survive on the outside without the social structure she is used to, she has no friends outside of the witnesses, she has no family other than me that would support her....in other words whilst its wrong that the wool is pulled over her eyes there is no real benefit to her leaving....shes not being mistreated...other than spiritually...and shes predominantly happy in her ignorance.

I have to agree, this is the loving thing to do, and you are the better person for doing it. It's just such hard thing to fight against, the brainwashing I mean. I had a similar talk with my dad, and came to the same conclusion as you, I'm just not going to get through. At least I have some degree of involvment in my parents lives, for whatever the amount of time is, that they have left here on this earth. I feel for you, I know what you are going through.

Latte

Diamond, It's a shame that you can't speak to the elders who told her such lies. My brother rang bethel here in the UK and they did readily admit to at one time being part part of the UN. Also my brother (who does not hold back) hit the local PO with loads of info..... and do you know what he said???? " So what if we were part of the UN " Well, my brother will eventually give him the reasons as to why his dismissive answer is not acceptable. Good luck with your mum.

Frog

Hi there DB,

I fully agree with you on the position you have taken. You've weighed it all up, and you're right little would be achieved by forcably trying to impose this information on her. Your mother knows your position, and it is a wonderful thing that you have been able to express it so clearly, so that she knows exactly where you're coming from. I'm sure she respects that you have made your decision on the basis of well thought out and researched facts. If she ever wants the facts she knows where to come. I'm sure she trusts that you've sourced the information from credible reliable sources, but you're right she's probably does not have the luxury of your position of youth and health to be able to challenge it head on like you have.

Good for you for trying DB, that's all we can do in the end. We also have to know when it's time to stand back, and let each person make his own course. If you put yourself out there, and your family know where you stand, and respect that you have the right to your choices, this is probably far more than we could have ever hoped for when we were in the deep dark despair of our original decent.

Take care DB, and drop me a line and let me know how you're holding up:)

frog

potleg

I've also been in this situation, my mother says the brothers have always acted with the best interests of the flock in mind so she'll stick with them. I've offered my help and it's still there...but if a drowning person refuses the grab a rope etc...She has to be the one to go to the next step and check things out, just let her know you'll be there. However you could chip away at her trust in the org a little at a time, maybe you could call the branch office and confirm that Paul Gillies is a brother then just mention in a conversational way that guess what Gillies does really exist etc. Sometimes you don't smash a wall, you take it apart one brick at a time.

Whiskeyjack

DB,

I sympathyse fully with your dilemma since it's so similar to my own with my parents and their somewhat fragile faith ("where would we go?").

However, she agreed (if I recall correctly) to look at your evidence fairly didn't she? Get the source documents from the U.N. and hold'em in reserve for a future argument. Your mother is being lied to (to what extent will you permit this?) and she's inferring that you're stupid/gullible or an outright liar yourself if she won't at least compare facts!

If you both have regular contact an opportunity will likely present itself down the road the next time she mentions honesty, fairness, truthfulness and so forth.

W.

greendawn

I also think at her age it will impossible to move into a new environment and successfully adapt to it so she might as well stay where is used to, in her familiar medium of 30 years.

Mothers Doubts: Latest Update

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