I have left my children to make there own mind up regarding religion. They are young but have been swayed by Christianity, dabbled with Buddhism and finally plumped for good old apathy. There's only one religion I'd take objection too, can you guess what it is?
Why would someone who has disassociated allow their child to be taken to KH
by Agnes 17 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
greendawn
It makes no sense to allow that since, and this happened to Gary, if he gets baptised the cultish poison will inspire him to shun his own parent.
-
talesin
I have a friend in this situation. It's a lot more complicated than y'all are making it sound.
Parents have equal rights. The unbelieving mate has little choice, unless they want constant fights and/or crying and acting out in front of the young one. Especially if they want to save the marriage, because they are still in love with their wife/husband. Remember that lifer JWs are emotionally immature, and the believing mate is NOT going to understand, and truly TRULY believes s/he is saving the life of the child.
And as we know from many folks' experiences on this forum, divorce and custody is not the answer to this problem. The believing parent will still be able to take the child to meetings and conventions, or at the very least indoctrinate the child when the child is in their custody, as spiritual endangerment is very hard to prove in court, and being JW is usually not considered abusive by the lawmakers of the land.
Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you make a judgement ...
tal
-
mjarka911
Thank you Talesin for your reasoned response. I am in the situation you describe. After 35 years and 3 generations, I stopped drinking the Kool ade and disassociated myself. Prior to that, I had many conversations with my devout wife. She couldn't answer my questions or doubts (neither could any of my friends who were elders). She still believes that no matter what the conduct or mistakes of the GB - it's still jah's org. At the time our son was 3 years old. At one point we were looking at divorce, but through much anguish and heartache - we decided on a compromise: We both love each other very much We both love our son (and now a daughter due in August!) We both have equal rights as parents and both truly believe we are doing what is in the child's best interests. She takes him to about half the meetings per month, I get him the other half. I celebrate most of the holidays with him and she is tolerant of that. We both express to him what we believe without putting down the other person. So far - he has done well with this arrangement. He knows mom and dad believe differently and that he will be allowed to choose when appropriate. Who knows if our arrangement will work out in the long run, but I still think it's better than divorce.
-
coffee_black
When I was divorced, I was still a dub. Visitation was agreed upon at that point. When I stopped going, my x still attended and took the kids with him. Later after I left, my daughter refused to go, but my son still attended with my x. As time passed, he decided that he no longer wanted to go...and at that point, my x brought out the big guns. At one point he called the police to force my son to go with him. My son was about 12 at the time and was really traumatized. My x persised, and the police were forced to side with him, because whatever he chose to do during his visitation was up to him. It was really tough to work through, and I didn't have the money to fight him in court...which is what it would have taken. The good news is that neither of my kids are dubs...so he won that battle, but totally lost the war.
Coffee
-
Agnes
Thank you all for your input. Let me start off by saying this was a question....not a judgement. Secondly, this is not the spouse taking the child, but the young woman's parents. The child is 7 years old and doesn't know what the risks are.
It just seems to me that if a person is dissallusioned enough to disassociate themselves, that they would certainly not want to risk their children becoming involved in a cult that might one day encourage them to shun them. I know that these situations are complex and I certainly don't know all of the details, but it bothers me nonetheless. Agnes
-
Doubtfully Yours
These are the type of nonsense people whose children become the easiest targets of abusers because they're not supervised and rather deposited into anyone's hand in the name of 'free babysitting'.
Of course, if anything happens to their 'precious child' while the 'free babysitting' is going on, they're more than ready to blame the WBTS when the real reason why their child has been abused or coerced in any way, shape or form is because the PARENTS/GUARDIANS have neglected their responsibility.
DY
-
jaffacake
A very dangerous practice which I can only understand if someone like Garybus is a walkaway believer and considered the JWs harmless, or even quite wholesome. I dont think anyone who knows the extent of the truth about the truth would dare to do such a thing.