by outnfree 51 Replies latest jw friends
I am so sorry to hear of your sickness.
My Mom died of cancer when I was a young teen...she was in her last stages of cancer when they diagnosed her. Chemo had just been introduced for healing, but since she was in the last stages she couldn't take Chemo.
I do hope for the best for you and a recovery that hopefully isn't too painful...If I lived in your area I would be there to visit you...
many hugs to ya,
Codeblue
outanfree
We don't know each other but I know you from this board. I didn't know you were ill. My thoughts and prayers are with you My beloved wife was diagnosed just over a year ago and had surgery followed by chemo. She actually coped much better than she thought, possibly due to her positive attitude. There were still ups and downs, but I am very confident that you will deal with this medicine. My wife is doing fine now, no one knew right through her traetment, that she was ill, not even her mother, sisters, our kids (15 and 11). They still don't know. She just took some extra rest every few weeks. You will be just fine, really - easy for me to say eh?
Everyone's different but my wife listened to music during her treatment sessions, and nodded off more than once lol. She also read up on lifestyle, diet etc, to help immune system etc. Just let me know if you want me to ask her to recommend any reading, if this appeals to you. Be strong Outanfree.
Ahhhhhhhhhh...I wish you well and a speedy recovery from the "chemo assault"! A few years back my sister went through a lumpectomy and the lymph nodes were also involved. Did the whole chemo and radiation thing. She was diagnosed with stage 3...not good. But she is cancer free now over 5 years later. The chemo wasn't as bad as she thought and her wig (she only got one) was really cute and I don't think a person who didn't know her could even tell it was a wig. But it's hard to keep that "good attitude" that people think you should have. A person going through what you are should be able to scream and cry and rage against the gods! I know I would be!
Just let people who offer take care of you. You need all the TLC and love you can get to fight off those nasty cancer cells...and I'm sure you will!! I know many of us will be thinking the good "karma" thoughts for you!
Love and hugs...cathy l.
We will be thinking of you and sending energy your way and if you need us to vent for whatever we are here .
BIG ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Like most other people I dont know you that well either....but we all have a connection. I hope all goes well, there will be good days there will be bad days but keep fighting. Pls keep us updated. Thinking if you es
Hi Brenda -
We can still have that chat we've talked about.
I will pm you my numbers incase you've misplaced them.
I don't think you knew this about me, but I am now 7 years cancer free - Lymphoma.
I'm an odd case to begin with (haha!!) but what made me even odder was that my treatment years were the about the best of my life.
It was during my cancer fight that I was finally able to put much 'people-pleasing' behind me. I finally understood 'one'. I learned how to prioritize the importance of not wasting time and energy on things that had little value to my life.
I also had a Port-a-Cath (still have a little scar from it) and did lose my hair. Like you, I was ready with not one, but TWO wigs, an assortment of hats and caps and wraps. Funny thing was, I only wore the wig once. I learned to stand proud regardless of what others thought of me. The thing I was most concerned about ended up being the thing that - when confronted w/ reality - I conquered squarely.
I also had a tremendous support group. NOT the people that I thought would be there for me. NOT the people that I had unselfishly helped in their own times of need. NOT my parents. There were other people who I had no idea even cared a little bit, made themselves available completely to me.
That time of supposed helplessness turned out to be one of the most liberating events of my entire life. (Finding JWD is a close 2nd!!) It helped also pulling the 'cancer card' when work or people got too overwhelming. 'I have cancer. I don't need to be part of this bickering. Do I??' LOL I was a little irreverent towards my disease but that approach worked for me. Cancer treatment didn't take over my life. Treatment times were scheduled and I did not complain when appointments took longer than usual. Complaining was wasted energy.
My oncologist has become sort of a surrogate dad to me. I love him. He gave me the tools to take charge of 'my disease'. With that, I was able to own it and the through multiple modalities, put it in its place. I did some guided imagry/visualization work thru a local cancer-support group: The Wellness Community. (Gilda Radner was one of the first members) I did 6 months of chemo, 9 months of steroids, 4 weeks of daily radiation treatment and some other 'alternative' treatments. I disclosed all modalities to my oncologist. Some he agreed with and encouraged. Others he said he didn't think would help, but also didn't think they would hurt. Some would cause conflict with treatment and he carefully explained why. (ie: Why couldn't I wear a cold-cap to try to minimize hair loss???)
As far as other symptoms, there are so many meds available to counter the extreme symptoms. It's also helpful to know that each person's experience is their own. Each treatment can be have different effects on the same person. I was afraid that my reactions would get progressively worse. Not true. Some sessions were more difficult than others. My attitude played a HUGE role. So did the amount of water I drank.
I kept a little notebook handy to make note of symptoms that occured. I had my list with me when I had consultation w/ oncologist and would report all of them. Some were simple and expected others were not expected. Funny thing was that there were some that I quickly dismissed and was willing to put up with, were indicators of something that concerned him. Other things that I thought were potentially serious, were 'normal' and turned out to be transient. The point was: take note, make note. Discuss.
There are so many options and so many documented successes with cancer treatment that I hope you can find confidence in reaching a successful outcome for yourself.
This has certainly been a trying year for you!! And it's still coming at you a full force. I am sorry for that. I know it's a struggle.
My three core elements to not letting cancer take over my life:
#1. Drink plenty of water. (If you are too tired to drink, ask the dr/nurse to give you an extra bag or two of IV fluids)
#2. Stay in the moment. I found the 'moments' were really not all the that difficult. Just a very few were extremely unpleasant. Quite a few were uncomfortable or annoying but even then there was something pleasant to be had just a few 'moments' in the future. For the most part, I had some really good moments. I got real good at staying in THIS moment.
#3. Find ways to conserve energy. Throw on a terry robe after showering rather than towelling dry. Have someone carry your laundry to the machine so you can load it. (unless you want someone else to do all of it...!!!) Maybe let them move laundry from washer to dryer and then from dryer to bed or table or whatever so you can fold it. Accept help whenever it is offered. Ask for help when you need/want it.
#4. Make it a priority to have something fun to look forward. Find a way to make it happen. Let your doc know that it's important to you. (Mine: An artshow in Laguna Beach - Pagent of the Masters. My brother's wedding. A drive to the beach for sunset dinner.) You'll need to conserve energy and may need to modify normal plans. But don't give them up just because you are in treatment. (ie: My daytrip to the artshow became a 2day trip. Drove in the morning. Napped in the afternoon. Evening Performance. Sleep @ hotel. Come home the following afternoon/evening.) Simple things count too. Always have something to look forward to in the near future. Don't let chemo crowd out the important things that make your life happy everyday.
Gosh, this turned in to a really long post!!!
All I really wanted to say was: *I care* LOL
You have a pm (just my phone numbers. No 'Dear Diary' moments!!)
*Hugs* and Positive Thoughts,
-Denise.
Auntie Brenda, you didn't say a word about this before, did you?!? OMG I can't believe all that has happened in the last year with your family.
I hope you are feeling better next Thursday. I will try to make it down there.
...oh, and ditto on what blondie said earlier
Best Wishes and a Speedy Recovery to you!
Jean
outnfree,
you are in my thoughts and prayers. by all the replys here it doesn't sound like you are alone!!!!!!!!!
Brenda, I've had the privilege of meeting you twice, and you have both times impressed me with your cheery courage in the face of adversity. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I am doing my best to send positive energy your way.
Lots of love and hugs,
Nina
