Sad.....

by love11 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • love11
    love11

    I'm feeling it again. It's one of those days I guess.

    Yesterday, my aunt called and we talked about my mom's visit. (I haven't seen her in about 8? years or talked to her) Then she came into town to see me and my sisters and acted like nothing had happened.

    I'm starting to feel some anger creeping in and sadness. I'm mad at how she treated my sisters (and me), I feel like they really need a mom and she just isn't there for them. My oldest sister is mentally ill and is in desperate need of help. No one can seem to get through to her except for my mom. She even went to the hospital with my mom to be checked (something she never would normally do because of her fear of doctors). I talked to my mom about her and her drug abuse, depression, etc, and she said, "She has made her own decisions and this is the life she has chosen. If only she stayed in Jehovah's organization then she wouldn't have fallen prey to satan's tricks." I said, " Mom...... she is mentally ill! She has made bad decisions in her life because she has mental problems. Mental illness and drug abuse go hand-in-hand. She cannot be held accountable for her actions when she has an illness that makes her act crazy, abusive, violent, overly sexual, and emotional. She needs help."

    She needs someone to help her so much!!!! I feel empty because I want to help her but I can't and still maintain my family. Also, I might be putting my own safety in jeopardy. I don't know what to do.....I feel like someone's going to find her dead from an overdose. And my mom acts like she is getting everything she deserves because she isn't going to the kh. There is no way she could sit anywhere in public, let alone at a judgemental kh!! She looks homeless now and her black makeup is smeared all around her eyes, I don't know when the last time she had a bath was. She needs to be institutionalized and my mom is in la-la land acting like all of her problems would be solved if only she went to the kh to get rid of the demons inside of her!!!!!!

    I don't like my mother. I don't care for the person that she is and the beliefs that she stands for. Her entire religion looks at a person and if that person is not doing everything they think a good person should do, then they discard that person like trash. How can parents dump there children because they are not doing exactly what they want them to do? Aren't we all individuals with free choice? Didn't our parents know that when they decided to have children? Did they look at there baby and say, "You will only be my child if you do what I say or think the way I want you to think." ? Would a mentally ill or disabled child not be loved anymore because they didn't follow the strict guidlines that a publishing company insisted god wanted them to follow?

    Love....................I read another thread about how there were two things god commanded for us to do. 1.Love god 2. Love each other. And all the other rules can be dismissed because those are the only two rules that you should go by now.

    Not that I believe in the bible, but if that is where the jw's are getting their rules from then how come they have added so many other rules. Like the pharisses(?) . Before my mom left to go back to Florida she said was mentioning all of the bad things that are happening in this world. Yet when I pointed out that all of those things she mentioned are happening in the wt organization she just said, " Well.....I don't think anyone's normal anymore. We all have our faults because we are imperfect." I wondered why she could only give forgiveness to other people that are as judgemental as she is. It's ok to point the finger at someone else, I guess?! My uncle said, "When you point a finger at someone else, you have three fingers pointing back at you."

    It's too bad that this book that men wrote so long ago is causing so much unhappiness. Also, I thought it was funny that my mom started putting down the scientologist because their religion was just made up in the 80's (so she said). So I said to her, "Ya, but people have always been making up there own religion, like even 100 years ago it was happening." LOL

    Hey... thanks for letting me vent! I feel better now.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    it is a sad situation and a difficult one.. hope the vent helped..hugs

  • love2Bworldly
    love2Bworldly

    Sorry your mom acts like such a typical Jdub. That's too bad about your sister and very sad. There are so many people who are mentally ill who use drugs instead of getting medical attention. Hugs to you.

  • xjwms
    xjwms

    I hope your sad feelings don't last too long

    would rather see you smiling.

    Stand up - deep breath - and smile.

  • love11
    love11

    Thanks you guys!

    I forgot to mention that there may be some hope that happened from a bad situation. The last time she went into the mental hospital she was able to release herself because she is an adult and they can't keep her against her will unless she becomes a menace to society. Well...a few weeks ago she got into a fight with her son and her son's friend. She started attacking them because she wanted drugs and they wouldn't give them to her and because she thought his friend was staring at her funny. So she started punching them and tried choking them around their neck. They didn't hit back but ended up taking her in the front yard for the neighbors to see as eye witnesses. When the police got there, it took 5 men to hold her down because she was throwing a complete fit. They put her in a padded cell where she continued to knock herself against the door and bruised her entire left side and arm and fractured her tailbone from falling on the floor. (that's what she went to the hospital for with my mom and they found all of this out).

    Anyways, the lawyer said that she'll probably have some jail time for this one. I'm hoping that when she goes into court the judge takes one look at her and puts her in an institution. That way they will make she that she has her medicine, takes a bath, and is taken care of. Maybe now that she is causing trouble for other people, she will be around those people that love helping the sick.

  • Es
    Es

    so sorry for your situation, Its so dissapointing when parents treat there children like that. It amazes me everyday how parents can no longer speak to there children coz they chose a different path in life. I too know how this feels. Hope things improve for you real soon es

  • Es
    Es

    so sorry for your situation, Its so dissapointing when parents treat there children like that. It amazes me everyday how parents can no longer speak to there children coz they chose a different path in life. I too know how this feels. Hope things improve for you real soon es

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    It is sad to see once more the great harm caused by this cult, as I understand it your mother could have done a lot to help your sister find her emotional poise, yet the cult through its influence made her shun her own daughter. Many psychologists believe that parental indifference, that lack of warmth and affection, is at the root of emotional ill health.

    However this cruel behaviour is not Biblical but rather based on the perceptions of the WTS that misinterpret the actual nature of Biblical teachings, in my opinion intentionally. She is obviously being vindictive rather than reasonable and loving.

  • love11
    love11

    Thanks es and greendawn-

    I feel that the treatment from the wt and family members obeying the wt, is in this case partly to blame for her mental illness. Interestingly,....... her "mental illness" began when she was raped by two elders boys. But of course it was her (they said) fault for being a c cup at 13. It was not a "nice" or "pretty" thing. The way she said what happened was tramatic and very violent and sadistic. They told her that she needs to be quiet about it and dress more appropriately. (my parents made us dress almost like amish people) and they didn't believe someone like her over ELDERs boys.

    She ran away after that and so started her life of drugs, etc,.

    Also, those boys were eventually disfellowshipped because they did the same thing to another elders daughter. Then they finally did something. But no police were ever called.

    I can't ponder over any of this because it would drive anyone crazy, but I love my sister and I hope someone helps her soon. Thanks for all of your love and support for me and my problems. I only wish I could tell her about all of you.

  • Soledad
    Soledad
    Interestingly,....... her "mental illness" began when she was raped by two elders boys. But of course it was her (they said) fault for being a c cup at 13. It was not a "nice" or "pretty" thing. The way she said what happened was tramatic and very violent and sadistic. They told her that she needs to be quiet about it and dress more appropriately. (my parents made us dress almost like amish people) and they didn't believe someone like her over ELDERs boys.

    OMG how tragic. Your mom knows this and looks the other way? Damn this is sad.

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