I'm a newbie...

hopetofade

Hey everyone! Another Wisconsin newbie here. Been lurking for a while, been doubting for a VERY long time. Many threads I would have liked to have posted to, but am not able to do so from my work computer and am rarely home alone to do it from home. Today is one of those rare occasions! My abbreviated story - my husband was found in the door to door work in CA when we were in our early 20's and I was sucked in as well. Studied on and off for 3 years, then had a baby and decided we best do something as we didn't want our child to die in the Big A (what kind of sick ploy is that?) I was half hearted aobut it and found many things difficult to understand - birthdays, etc. Moved back to WI shortly after baptism. Imagine how popular we were - a new baptized couple with a baby! Hubby was made a MS within a few years, elder about five years later. Having doubts all along, his elder appointment was the clincher - he was a regular pot smoker! This didn't bother me personally, as I indulged occasionally also, but this was being directed by holy spirit?? He said he was going to quit and reasoned that Jehovah must see something good in him. He does have many good qualities, but he was deceiving everyone! After a few years, his conscience got the best of him and he stepped down as he never did quit smoking. Was again appointed a MS and still is. His attitude had changed greatly in the last several years however. For example, we only went out in FS once last month (yea!) He's allowed our daughters to play on sports teams and attend dances with groups of school friends. Our youngest daughter is on a camping trip with a school friend right now. He just keeps things quiet. I think he still believes it's the truth and will usually defend things when I challenge him, but he's certainly not Mr. Gung-Ho which makes things easier. I'm hoping to do the slow fade as our kids get older. Will probably still attend with him on Sundays or something later on as I don't want him to be left totally alone. We really enjoy each other's company and I don't want to strain our marriage more than I have to. I just know that I've given enough of my life to the WTS and I want some of it back! This board has been great. I know I'm not crazy now! And to all my fellow cheese heads - GO PACK!!