Visiting JW parents... should i be evil?

jimakazi

My family and I will be visitng my parents this weekend. They do not shun us and are in their mid 60's. While I'd get satisfaction out of sharing some of the information I've discovered here I don't know that this would be the best thing for them - their whole life and friends are the local JW congregation. I don't know if after 35 years wasted inthe borg they would appreciate finding out it was reallt a waste of their time - if only I'd found this stuff out 20 years ago!

blondie

I figure if they don't ask, they don't want to know. I know how I would have been before I first started wondering. First sign of something "apostate" I would cut off the conversation and start avoiding that person. I wasn't ready to hear it. Too often we can flood our friends and family with what we have learned and overload them. It reminds me of how new JWs were with "witnessing" to their family and friends. They wanted to tell them everything in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation.

Just visit with them, listen to what they talk about, what is important to them. Then if you see a sign that not all is well in their JW land, just ask caring questions, why do you feel that way, what happened to make you think that way, how do you think God thinks about that, etc.

All of us did not get where we are overnight. It took years in some cases of observing what happened in the WTS and wondering if God had anything to do with it.

Blondie

DannyBloem

I do have exactly the same problem. I posted this a few days ago.

In my opinion it is not worth it. It would not make them happier to confront them very hard.

But it is good if they learn to think for themselves (if they are not doing so already). Try to make them more dependent on there own thoughts. I would suggest not to discuss the bitter things, but more positive but still questionable things.

For example: ask them about how they feel that the lion will eat grass like a lamb. Maybe they can reason about this, and come to a different conclusion the the GB.Just a first step in learning to think...

Danny

Scully

Your family must have joined around the same time as mine. I'm curious as to how my family is going to take the New Light™ from the District Convention... the talk about the Resurrection Hope™ and how some Brothers™ and Sisters™ who have served faithfully for "many decades" likely would die before Armageddon™.

I'm curious about how they'll feel about lost opportunities to have a retirement plan, or go to University, or invest in themselves so that they could have a comfortable life in their old age. It must come as a total shock to some who didn't think they were going to grow old in this system of things to watch their bodies age, and see wrinkles and gray hair, and have their health begin to fail, now to be told that their devotion to the WTS was just a waste of time.

greendawn

At that age and having spent half their lives in the borg I think it will be really hard for them to make this massive agitating change, of thinking negatively about the jws and that all they did was for the sake of a fake "truth".

jimakazi

Hi Greendawn

I think you are right - would it do them mor eharm than good- the opportunity to change things is now passes - they are retired. The only up side would be my dad not thinking he is a failure because both sons have given up the 'truth'.

really hard for them to make this massive agitating change

By the way i raised with them that I can't beleive Lions will eat grass, or that you can't have a soul, or that they should not ban celebration of birthdays. But before I didn't have at my finger tips well arcticulated information, in an easy to print form.

Thanks

greendawn

They've been out of the world and unconnected to it for a third of a century and the mind slows down with age, for most people. As the saying goes "it's hard for old dogs to learn new tricks".

blondie

60's is not old enough for the mind to be going yet. Usually the problem is that people have the mind but just have not been exercising it enough. I am 53 and "smarter" than I ever was. Mental deterioration usually begins when the body starts having major decay. Don't underestimate "older" people.

Blondie

greendawn

Being 53 is not old, I was thinking of 70-75 plus.

blondie

Think late 80's and 90's.

I spend a lot of time around people in their 70's and older and unless they are suffering from some of serious illness, their mental intellect is fully intact. Many of them retired and are now working part-time in their previous field and we are glad to have them in our office. They save us so much time from re-inventing the wheel.

There is something to be said for knowledge and experience accumulated over time compared to book knowlege and only a few years of adult living. I have been both places.

I have met people in their 20's that are not very flexible in their outlook either. Time and experience sometimes changes that too.

Take people as inidividuals; don't try to put them in a box.

Love, Blondie

Visiting JW parents... should i be evil?

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