Hi Anon !
And WELCOME !
Please realize that you are not alone in this. When I first came here I was having a crises, too. I had mixed feelings when I read other peoples experiences. On one hand, it was strangely 'comforting' simply knowing I was not alone...I could and did learn the 'how' & 'why' of their situations and how they were handling it. I found out my problems were not unique in the troubled JW world, I found several people with almost the exact problems.
On the other hand...it was sad when I realized how many people were being affected by the 'marking and shunning'...thousands upon thousands...of victims !
Everyday that number grows...
Hang in there, lead your own life, think your own thoughts and help others get out.
You have a lot of people here who know exactly what you're going thru.
Rabbit