LMAO @ this rant

by Odrade 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    On Craigslist:

    http://portland.craigslist.org/rnr/83081601.html

    I don't expect you to bow at my feet every morning when I hand you your coffee, but a simple "thank you" would do. And yes, that "thank you" is mainly acceptable in the form of cash (please, dear god because I don't work at Starbucks, actually know what i'm doing and don't rely on a machine to do my job for me... and also therefore have no health insurance, make minimum wage until my reveiw in two months and my student loans are KILLING ME) it doesn't have to be huge. And just because you're paying with plastic doesn't exempt you from the tipping ritual - there is a clearly marked area in which you can enter, for example .75 to round out your 3.25 order to 4.00. It's simple. You tip me, I treat you better. A tip will magically make me remember your name, order and will even get you the occasional free drink. If there's a line and you, Mr. Tipper, look like you're in a hurry, I'll start your drink early and have it ready. And these are only examples, for there are many ways that I can make your morning better but this relationship is reciprocal. I'm a whore for your tips - pay me and receive the extent of my Dionysian affections.


    ...And ps. A flier about your religion in the tip jar absolutely does not count. That is not only ridiculously presumptuous, it is also completely useless. I hate your fliers. Please stop putting them in there.

    Bet my mom was doing that....

    LOL!!!

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    That was a good find, Odrade.

    Incidentally, I always tip the 'holy bringers of the morning java'.

    J

  • mkr32208
    mkr32208

    That has ALWAYS pissed me off! When I see religious fliers I always pick them up and toss them... (unless they are from the WBTS) then I write CULT ALERT CULT ALERT PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY! See www.jehovahs-witness.com and silentlambs, in them and put them back!

    As to tipping I'm really thinking thats getting out of hand too! Companies should pay someone a fair wage to work for them! I know two waitresses in vagas who PAY their company to ALLOW them to work! No these aren't strippers either, they work for very high end resorts and actually have to pay the company for the privilage of working... It's f*cking obsene! At what point do I start adding 2 dollars to my electric bill to tip the girl who inputs it in the computer? What's a fair rate to tip the policeman who writes me a traffic ticket? How much do I tip the telemarketer from india who calls in the middle of dinner! It's really getting stupid!

  • melmoth
    melmoth

    If I recall correctly, a LONG time ago, there was actually a KH discussion or talk or something about whether it was actually OK to leave literature instead of cash as a tip.
    I think the answer was a gentle 'no' (although the good intentions were praised, and you could leave some in addition to cash).

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    Hehe, as to the tipping thing, look what someone replied:

    Hmmm, so let me get this straight. I come in, order my $3.25 drink, you pour it in a cup for me, and because it's a coffee shop, rather than McDonald's where you get my drink and put it on a cute little tray, I must now TIP you $.75, rounding the $3.25 coffee to $4.00, for a 23% tip???

    Listen, I tip 20% at Macaroni Grill, where the boy comes, writes his name upside down, brings me a CARAFE of wine and a LOAF of bread, comes back TO MY TABLE for my order, checks in with me a couple of times, brings me an extra fork right away when I drop mine on the floor, (and extra napkins too,) comes back, takes my desert order, SINGS ME A SONG, and brings my bill to me. All while I sit and relax in a nice comfy booth.

    So, what about the line, wait, stand, wait, stand over there, wait, get my coffee, put my own sugar in, wipe the counter myself after my little milk spill, and never even sit down, justifies your 23% tip???

    Oh yeah, you made my coffee like I ordered and paid for it, and you started it before I got to your end of the counter. WHOOPEEEE! I guess that means you're entitled to it. idiot

    fluff, I know, total fluff. I'm easily entertained.

  • CaptainSchmideo
    CaptainSchmideo

    Dialogue from the beginning of Reservoir Dogs (or was it the time I was at a Donut Shop out in Service? ....)

    Warning! Deleted profane and scatalogical references....

    JOE All right. I'll take care of the check. You guys can get the tip. Should be about a buck apiece. And you, when I come back, I want my book.

    MR. WHITE Sorry. It's my book now.

    JOE Hey, I changed my mind. Shoot this piece of $%&*, will you?

    (They laugh.)

    EDDIE All right. Everybody cough up some green for the little lady.

    Come on. Throw in a buck.

    MR. PINK Uh-uh. I don't tip.

    EDDIE You don't tip?

    MR. PINK No - I don't believe in it.

    EDDIE You don't believe in tipping?

    MR. BLUE You know what these chicks make? They make $%&*.

    MR. PINK Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.

    (Mr. Blonde laughs.)

    EDDIE I don't even know a $%&*ing Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me just get this straight. You don't ever tip, huh?

    MR. PINK I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip, if they really put forth the effort, I'll give 'em something extra, but I mean this tipping automatically is for the birds.

    (Eddie laughs.)

    I mean as far as I'm concerned they're just doing their job.

    MR. BLUE Hey, this girl was nice.

    MR. PINK She was OK - but she wasn't anything special.

    MR. BLUE What's special, take you in the back and @#$@ your #$%^ ?

    (They laugh.)

    EDDIE I'd go over 12% for that.

    MR. PINK Hey Look, I ordered coffee, right? Now we've been here a long $%&*in time, and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times

    MR. BLONDE Six times? Well, you know, what if she's too $%&*ing busy?

    MR. PINK Words "too $%&*ing busy" shouldn't be in a waitress' vocabulary.

    EDDIE Excuse me, Mr. Pink - the last $%&*ing thing you need's another cup of coffee.

    MR. PINK Jesus Christ - I mean these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage. You know, I used to work minimum wage. And when I did, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job society deemed tip-worthy.

    MR. BLUE You don't care they're counting on your tips to live?

    (Mr. Pink rubs two of his fingers together.)

    MR. PINK You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.

    MR. WHITE You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their @!!. This is a hard job.

    MR. PINK So's working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them, do you? Why not? They're servin ya food. But no, society says don't tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. That's bull$%&*.

    MR. WHITE Waitressing is the number one occupation for female noncollege graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get and make a living on. The reason is because of their tips.

    MR. PINK (pauses) $%&* all that.

    (They all laugh.)

    MR. BROWN Jesus Christ!

    MR. PINK Hey, I'm very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That's $%&*ed up. That ain't my fault. It would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government $%&*s in the @!! on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bull$%&* you're giving me, I got two words for that: "Learn to $%&*in type." Cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big $%&*in' surprise.

    MR. ORANGE Hey - he's convinced me. Give me my dollar back.

    EDDIE Hey! Leave the dollars there.

    JOE All right, ramblers, let's get ramblin'. Wait a minute. Who didn't throw in?

    MR. ORANGE Mr. Pink.

    JOE Mr. Pink? Why not?

    MR. ORANGE He don't tip.

    JOE He don't tip? What do you mean you don't tip?

    MR. ORANGE He don't believe in it.

    JOE Shut up. What do you mean you don't believe in it? Come on, you, cough up a buck, you cheap bastard. I paid for your %^&&!@# breakfast.

    MR. PINK Alright - since you paid for the breakfast, I'll put in, but normally I would never do this.

    JOE Never mind what you normally would do. Just cough in your #$%!@#$ buck like everybody else. Thank you.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Tipping ... I am so divided on this. Having worked as a server, I know how important they are to supplement your wages.

    On the other hand, I resent paying $2.00 for a coffee that costs about 7 cents, and then being expected to tip at least 20% ...

    I also worked in a fast-food restaurant (local, not mickey dee's or anything) and made minimum wage. I did not expect tips, but did quite well.

    In Australia, they don't have tipping. They also have a higher minimum wage. That way, everyone gets paid a fair wage, and the customer is not guilted into paying the wages of the servers ... after all, who is raking in the cash on this deal? The owners who pay scab wages!

    O, it's amazing to me that anyone would leave Witchtower or Asleep! as a tip ... my parents would be horrified if any JW with them did that, and my dad would take the waiter aside and give her/him a tip! That is just bad form, and cheapness to the nth degree. tsk tsk, I can't believe some Witless's would stoop to such pond-scum behaviour ... but then, there are lots of pond-scum around, and most of 'em aren't JW!

    xo

    tal

  • funkyderek
    funkyderek
    I'm a good tipper. I'll tip 15-20% for ordinary service, more if they go the extra mile.

    I'm a fair tipper. I start with a base rate of 10% as that seems to be expected. Adequate service gets a 10% tip (give or take a couple of points, sometimes I round up or down). Exceptional service occasionally gets as much as 15%. Points are lost for poor or slow service. If it's below a certain point, there will be no tip at all. I refuse outright to reward people for incompetence or rudeness.

    Tipping above 20% strikes me as extravagant. If I'm paying €200 for a meal, why should I have to throw in an extra €50 just for bringing it from the kitchen to the table? For me, that should be included in the cost of the meal.

  • gumby
    gumby

    I work my arse off installing someones floor all day long......and get the bigass tip of someone saying....."you did a wonderful job....thank you." At least the lady could show me one of her boobs or sumthin....sheesh

    I'm with Derek. If I have to pay 100 bucks for a meal for 4 people ( I do this real rarely)....should I have to pay 15 bucks for the service? I do.....but only cuz I feel obligated.

    Gumtightass

  • cypher50
    cypher50

    I'm all for tipping...at a restaurant or for when a service is provided that I find to be of special note (hand wash car detailing, movers, taxi service, etc.). But at Starbucks? I don't care what some minimum wage grad student is whining about, I am not tipping just because you used a nice little froth machine and handed me a Frappucino...that is freaking ridiculous to say that a tip is mandatory for a service that takes a minute or two to perform. And I don't buy the "starving student" routine...if life is that bad then get a better job because there are jobs out there that pay well and allow you to go to school (I have one of them).

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