Now my youngest son thinks there could be HELLFIRE!!

by LyinEyes 10 Replies latest jw friends

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  LyinEyes

  Since leaving the borg, my kids have adjusted pretty well, embracing the "worldly" lifestyle of holidays, friends, fitting in with the "norm".

  My youngest son Chance, had the hardest time of my three kids when we left , he is now 10 yrs old. When we left he cried wondering if Jehovah was going to be mad at us for not going to meetings anymore. After many heartpouring out talks it seemed he believed that God is love and if we were good people he would not destroy us at Armeggedon.

  Last time he was talking about burning in hellfire!!! Even kids his age talk about more than skateboards and the Xbox. IT seems a group of kids have been talking alot about the wrath of God lately. My son has been hearing all kinds of things from kids , things that I had no idea where even thought about by kids his age, that were not JW. I guess JW kids are not the only ones taught fear from what I am hearing, and for the most part the kids we have run across mostly don't talk about God, but these are new kids he is friend with now.

  My son told me that someone told him that if you try to kill yourself ( and especially if you succeed) you are going to burn in hell. He said someone told him if you are Gay you are going to burn in hell. HE said they said the Bible teaches it is why these kids said it. I talk to him and used my exjw reasoning on what I could and I know we still have along way to go. He doesnt understand why God would hate a gay person, I have several who come by and see us and all of my kids love all of my close gay friends. So it was hurtful when he thought God hated Gay people.

  Then he was upset because my Mother his Grandmother, committed suicide. He never knew her, but he knows her thru me and he knows how much I loved and do love her. I think the reasoing I gave him will give him some sort of peace and I am doing my best to teach them to have an open mind and above all eles,,,,,,,,," that we just don't totally know the will of God, nor should we even try to guess what God really thinks on things". Basically treat all people with fairness, love and understanding, and be the best person you can be and God will love you for it.

  Sometimes I wonder if I should take this child to a church that does not preach death and destruction, either the JW Armeggedon way or by way of hellfire.

  Any ideas on a church that is like that, maybe a non denominational one? Unitarian?

  I thought if he didnt go to church now, no religion pushed down his throat he could grow up and choose himself. But ,,,,,,,,he is hearing , and I hope he isnt belieivng hellfire because everyone eles does. hummmm.
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  Elsewhere

  It sounds like he came across a pack of Jesus Freak Evangelicals. They are just as bad as JWs when it comes to pushing their religion on other people and making threats of divine retribution.

  Have you thought about exposing your son to the ideas of eastern religions? Buddhism, Taoism, etc? This could help him learn that there are other "gods" or "deities" and other ideas that are completely different from the monotheism of western societies that don't even involve "deities". It could also help him learn the importance of tolerance of other people's faiths.

  Maybe you can ask your son if he believes god is kind, loving and understanding of all of the different kinds of people... or if he thinks god would really act like such a mean dictator who demands absolute obedience under the threat of eternal torture. Something tells me that your son has a gentle nature and will conclude that god is kind and gentle. (Every god is created in the image of the one who worships it)
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  GetBusyLiving

  Get him to start reading RunningMan's Bible essays.. that should blow the paranoia straight out of his brain.

  GBL
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  bebu

  Good heavens!!!

  That kid's in the wrong place entirely.

  At 10 years, all the kids talk like experts to each other on spiritual matters. Even when they get ridiculous.

  I think that even if you limit your son's exposure to this new friend, he'll still have a lot of questions that need real answers. They aren't simply going to go away now. He's looking for someone who can give something more solid than "It looks like we need to do this..." (That was my experience anyway; my folks told me stuff but couldn't really explain why very well, and this made me a bit anxious!)

  Has your son ever read The Chronicles of Narnia? You may be familiar with the first book, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, and your son may have already read that one, actually. The last book (The Last Battle, which is book 7) gives some wonderful analogies of how God can cut thru all the intricacies and keep every person (even those who did not 'know' or 'follow' him) who loves Him; that appearances and busyness were irrelevent. I highly recommend the series to you both; it helped me so much to see realities behind stark words/theologies, and made God's love very relevent and comforting. It soothed me tremendously. It is a good counter-balance to the diet he's getting right now. You can discuss a lot of things with him as you go, offering your own thoughts (and enjoying it yourself as well).

  bebu
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  jeanniebeanz

  My son was exposed to this too. I told him to tell the kid, "Your God is mean and I don't like him." It wasn't a PC thing to say, but it certainly did the trick. The other kids don't talk to him about the 'wrath of god' anymore.

  If they don't like it, they can play with someone else... Of course, this is California. Don't advocate that track in the 'babble belt'.

  J
• 

  joelbear

  why do you need a church.

  teach him self respect and self confidence.

  surround him with people who love him.

  teach him early to be skeptical about everything he hears.
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  LyinEyes

  Good points folks, thanks. My son's friends are probably in the same boat he is in, they probably got in trouble for cussing and their parents said they were gonna burn for it ya know. He best new friend, is only 11 and I think he too, has just heard stories about God and ya know how kids just talk, they don't know what to believe for themselves yet. None of the kids are church goers and as far as I know none of the parents go regularly. I think it is basically kids just sitting around talking about bits and pieces of what they hear from others.

  But after all is said and done, I want Chance to be open minded, to not draw conclusions just because he hears something. I want him to look deeply into what he questions. I will see how the weekend goes, and so far he is too busy playing, swimming , spray painting his old bike to worry about God and the big picture right now. I guess that is the way a 10 yr old boy ought to be....usually he worries about this kind of thing when he is tired before bed.
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  kazar

  Unless you have a strong devotion yourself, frequently, no religion is the best religion. It builds up confidence knowing you must rely on yourself.
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  Princess

  Sometimes I wonder if I should take this child to a church that does not preach death and destruction, either the JW Armeggedon way or by way of hellfire.

  Any ideas on a church that is like that, maybe a non denominational one? Unitarian?

  UM, nope. I had a good friend who started attending a Unitarian church because she wanted her sons (five and infant at the time) to believe in hellfire. She feels it's the only thing that saved her when she was a drug addict. She's terrified her sons will turn to drugs so she spends $1000s a month on private Christian school for them and takes them to church and teaches them about hell. She didn't see the irony in her thinking since she attended private school, believed in hellfire and still spent years as an addict. As we were stuck in a car on a four hour road trip at the time, it made for a rather uncomfortable weekend when I blew her beliefs out of the water. Our friendship died a bit that weekend then took a huge dive a few months later. I made the mistake of quoting scriptures. She had no way to defend herself since she never researched it herself, she merely took the word of the preacher.

  My kids have come home with all kinds of stuff like that. Amazing what 6 year olds talk about on the playground.
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  A Paduan

  In a minute I'm going to start a post series entitled "What did you hear to get that fear?" (on beliefs, doctrines and practices) for ex-jws and fundamentalists to shake some preconceived fearful biblical understandings - might be of some use