The first blow came the first Christmas after I was disfellowshipped. My boyfriend was gone with his family, so I had asked my mom if she wanted to spend the day together (like we used to do before I was df'd). watch a movie, make some food. She calls me a day or two before- she can't- the elders or someone had discouraged her from spending a WHOLE day with me. I cried all day on Christmas, and my non-jw aunt had pity on me and told me to stay at her house so i wouldn't be all alone.
And my mom tries to tell me she the made the decision not to come to my wedding all by herself. I doubt that. Very seriously.
But the best thing to me is that- they strongly discourage her from having too much contact with me. My mom is disabled (cerebral palsy). She is still married to my non-jw father. They have never had the best marriage. Sometimes I think dad is there out of obligation. He hates the JW's (he is so excited I am no longer one), especially the one who my mom started studying with. But, as I said to my mom, if something were to happen to my father, my mother would need help. And granted the JW's might give her a ride here or there, bring her a meal once in a while, but they all have their own families and lives- none of them are going to take care of her or move her into their home. So then she will need who? ME. The bad df'd daughter that they have told her to stay away from as much as possible. Oh, good idea- alienate and push away the only person who will actually take care of her if the time ever comes. They are so strict in their df rules (not even eating with such a person, even if their family), that they don't take into account different situations. I want to see how much they encourage her to stay away from me when the time comes that they know she needs me. Then what. I would never take it out on my mother- she has always been the rule abiding little sheep, even to extremes sometimes.
Whew, that felt good to get off my chest.