So maybe I am occasionally bitter...

by feelinglost 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • feelinglost
    feelinglost

    The first blow came the first Christmas after I was disfellowshipped. My boyfriend was gone with his family, so I had asked my mom if she wanted to spend the day together (like we used to do before I was df'd). watch a movie, make some food. She calls me a day or two before- she can't- the elders or someone had discouraged her from spending a WHOLE day with me. I cried all day on Christmas, and my non-jw aunt had pity on me and told me to stay at her house so i wouldn't be all alone.

    And my mom tries to tell me she the made the decision not to come to my wedding all by herself. I doubt that. Very seriously.

    But the best thing to me is that- they strongly discourage her from having too much contact with me. My mom is disabled (cerebral palsy). She is still married to my non-jw father. They have never had the best marriage. Sometimes I think dad is there out of obligation. He hates the JW's (he is so excited I am no longer one), especially the one who my mom started studying with. But, as I said to my mom, if something were to happen to my father, my mother would need help. And granted the JW's might give her a ride here or there, bring her a meal once in a while, but they all have their own families and lives- none of them are going to take care of her or move her into their home. So then she will need who? ME. The bad df'd daughter that they have told her to stay away from as much as possible. Oh, good idea- alienate and push away the only person who will actually take care of her if the time ever comes. They are so strict in their df rules (not even eating with such a person, even if their family), that they don't take into account different situations. I want to see how much they encourage her to stay away from me when the time comes that they know she needs me. Then what. I would never take it out on my mother- she has always been the rule abiding little sheep, even to extremes sometimes.

    Whew, that felt good to get off my chest.

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    Feels good, huh?

    Welcome to the forum!

  • Sith
    Sith

    FL, you can't take this family stuff personally. You will be the better person, when the time comes. Be there for your family...your mother...even if she can't be there for you
    Robbie

  • Thegoodgirl
    Thegoodgirl

    F.L.

    So good to hear your story. Your mom sounds like my mom. Alienating people, and then sad that she doesn't have people to talk to and count on. That's a tough situation for you. I would think, when the time comes, your mom will talk to the elders, and they will say it's okay to live with/rely on your daughter because you have no choice. Who knows, all the elders are different. And I'm glad for your dad that he has the joy that you arent' a JW anymore. Welcome to the board.

  • GetBusyLiving
    GetBusyLiving

    Hey, hang in there feelinglost. It's okay to be bitter considering what they've put you through. I find poking fun at them helps. Take care!

    GBL

  • Purza
    Purza

    Welcome feeling lost!

    And my mom tries to tell me she the made the decision not to come to my wedding all by herself. I doubt that. Very seriously.

    Mine said the same thing. She said it would bother her conscience. Puhlease! I am not even DF'd -- just inactive. I was married 7 weeks ago and I am still very bitter about their refusal to attend.

    But, as I said to my mom, if something were to happen to my father, my mother would need help.

    Did you feel bad saying this? Cause I want to say the same thing to both my parents. I have such a wonderful husband he would support me in helping my parents when they could no longer live on their own. I have been tempted to "threaten" my parents with "what are you going to do when you can no longer care for yourself?", but I feel guilty about that. Don't know. Just wondering.

    Purza

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    There are many people on this board that got victimised by the WTS by having their family relationships obstructed by this criminal organisation no wonder why your father hates them so much, he can see how destructive they are.

    I hope everything finally works out for you and your mother you should create new social relationships there are much nicer persons in the world than the average dub.

  • Netty
    Netty

    I cried all day on Christmas, and my non-jw aunt had pity on me and told me to stay at her house so i wouldn't be all alone.

    (((Feelinglost))) Sorry!
    my mom tries to tell me she the made the decision not to come to my wedding all by herself.

    I know how this feels, you poor thing.
    He hates the JW's (he is so excited I am no longer one),
    Good for you, that you will have your fathers support through this! Good to get things off your chest hu? Thats what were here for. Hang in there, and welcome to the board!
  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Fl-

    Leaving the mental prison of the borg is a process, not a moment. All the feelings that you would feel in the grief of losing a loved one in death will come thru for most - anger, denial, ect.

    Glad to have you here - many of us can empathize as we went thru the same thing.

    Jeff

  • Momofmany
    Momofmany
    So good to hear your story. Your mom sounds like my mom. Alienating people, and then sad that she doesn't have people to talk to and count on. That's a tough situation for you. I would think, when the time comes, your mom will talk to the elders, and they will say it's okay to live with/rely on your daughter because you have no choice. Who knows, all the elders are different. And I'm glad for your dad that he has the joy that you arent' a JW anymore. Welcome to the board.

    Sounds like my Mom as well. They told my mom that she isn't a true widow, because she has children. (whatever) As long as she has my brother (who is D'A) and me, she has someone to rely on/take care of her. So the elders may very well tell her that it's ok to live with you. I was still going to the meetings when my Dad passed. Wish I did it while he was still alive. Mine would have be happy too.

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