Where would you take a gorilla on a date? To the Banana-rama roller
rink
Who would you like to be stuck in an elevator with for three hours?
Ummmm do I have any weapons of my choice to use on this scum?
If cannibals caught you, how would you like to be cooked? Like a yabby,
dip my toes in the boiling water and let me scream and turn red
If they were coming for you, where would you hide? I'd build a
tree-house and live like an Amazonian homeless man, snacking on
tarantula's and hornet bees
What food best describes Dave? Dave is a meat and 2 veg kind if guy,
with a lot of sauce
Beside what entry in the dictionary would you find your picture?
CRAPANNUAL - one who has had a crap year, only to get better next year.
Who is at the door? The neighbours, asking me to clean the spew from
their balcony and the feathers from the stairs, there looking for Roxy,
Jenny from the block, Trixy and Kitty...long story
How many people are here? Just me and Jim, Jim is sitting next to me
eating a frozen muesli bar, sipping a long island iced tea - he just got
back from the Bahama's, Pity no one else can see Jim, it hurts his
feelings being invisible..
Which office is Mr. Smith's? The smelly one down the end, at first I
thought something was fish in there but then I realised it was the open
tuna can left overnight in the bin.
Where is Ahmed? I think he is in a black car driving to the airport
When are your office hours? 8-5pm, my choice of course - starting at 8
I get to have a day off every 2 weeks :)
What is that man's name? Who....ah him, that's Augusta, he is from New
Venezuala and is a local tribesman. He drives cabs on weekends and calls
himself Patrick from Kenya, Augusta has one claim to fame - he got
through the tv show "border security" with an unknown substance in his
bowel, now he always carries doggy treats in his wallet
Who can speak French? Jenny, the girl next door - she is really loud and
always sings sweet Eiffel tower music at 2am
How many people will be there? Where??....ah the bush dance - ummm
me and some others, I'm making Jim stay at home that night, but Augusta
Patrick will be driving me and picking me up. Apart from that it will
just be a lot of hay bails with holes in them, why the holes im not sure
- but they do!
Which person might help us? The bears will be outside lifting hay
bails, if you fall over they can help you. Ahhhhh you want help with
that...go see the doctor, you can get over that little problem, there is
medication for it now.
There seems to be a lot of kids in the neighborhood, don't you think?
Well the way that French lady says hi to the mailman its no wonder! The
other kids walk around saying "man" and "dude" a lot, in the fish n chip
shop one bumped into me and called me a "dude"
Do you know "so-and-so"?
So-and-so is an absolute toss pot who I'd
like to see out one day!
Have you noticed the traffic getting worse? Tell me about it!!!! Sunday
morning at 3am the traffic must have been bad cause a guy had to drive
up the wrong side of the road outside MCDonalds, he was in a hurry
though and the 3 police cars must've wanted to tell him that it wasn't
busy and he could move over. Good to watch though
do you come here often? No its my first time, but I get paid to come
here so I might do it more often. What about you?? If you come back,
look for me - I'll be in the corner sucking on a cask of wine and
staring into space.
