Will my inactive JW bring our children up as a witness? (page 2)

wizzstick

You need to be aware that if your wife gets involved with JW's again and your child falls seriously ill, your wife will not want them to have a blood transfusion. Even if that means they die. And your wife would also want to die rather than have a transfusion.

The horror of this is highlighted on the front cover of a JW magazine called the Awake:

Awake! May 22nd 1994

Below is a article about this issue from an excellent website called JWFacts:

http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/blood-transfusions.php

Many times this challenge comes along. JW's who 'drift away' are vulnerable to getting involved as they never research their faiths teachings. Having children seems to encourage some to return. Of course it's impossible to know what your partner will do, but unless they learn the truth about The Truth (The Truth is a phrase JW's use to describe their faith) they may end up getting pulled back in.

Points to ponder.

Simon

I think most people's experiences would suggest that there is a very strong chance they will and others in the congregation will put pressure on them to do so.

Edited: Sorry, I misread the title - it's inactive, not active (the space threw me off, I corrected it).

I doubt an inactive person would push the religion but you never know.

rebel8

"Inactive witness" just means she doesn't participate anymore, but has not been formally removed from the church. It doesn't tell us what she believes or plans to do.

If she still believes it's an ok religion to bring kids up in, run very fast and very far away.

My husband, before we married, asked about my current beliefs and stated in no uncertain terms he would terminate our relationship if I ever decided to return to the cult. I assured him I would not, and I have not.

Everyone who is considering making babies with someone else, or entering a committed relationship, should have the same conversation about religious beliefs and plans, really. You need to be sure you're on the same page.

stevepill

Thank you for all you comments , I love this women very much and she means the world to me but she says she cannot guarantee she won't go back.

Crazyguy

I would learn some about the religion and then ask her if she's willing to talk about her beliefs. If she's willing to talk and is OK with you showing her some of the facts about the religion and it's lies false teaching etc then great and see where this takes you. If she is unwilling to talk and closes down mentally then she is still under the mind control of this cult. I would then not have any children with her or marry her until she's able to free her mind.

If she's unwilling to get help or help herself out of the mind control then unfortunately I would suggest you leave her and move on. This cult will bring good you and your children down, she's not worth the years of pain watching your children waste their lives away.

problemaddict 2

Steve,

I think I echo the sentiments of some here. Don't be too "against" her former faith....because you may end up pushing her to it. At the same time, you really need to learn about the religion. It is VERY likely that especially after having a child, at the time parents seem to think about what direction they want their family to go and so forth, that she will consider going back.

Are her family active JW's?

If you love her you love her. If she loves you, then you both should be able to have an adult honest conversation about this.

stevepill

I agree with what your saying, she does clam up when I ask her questions about her faith as she feels if she says something negative then I will hold it against her, her family are all in it but she is the black sheep of the family and they now keep their distance because she's not doing what she should be doing, they have not contacted her since last July!

just want to save from this craziness!

AudeSapere

stevepill wrote: she does clam up when I ask her questions about her faith as she feels if she says something negative then I will hold it against her, her family are all in it but she is the black sheep of the family and they now keep their distance because she's not doing what she should be doing, they have not contacted her since last July!

This is because she still believes it is 'The Truth'. She does not want to speak against God.

And since she believes JWs are God's chosen people, when she has a child and is legally married, she will very likely attend meetings again. Even if just sporadically. Her parents will 'inculcate' the JW beliefs whenever they have access to your child.

stevepill also wrote: she means the world to me but she says she cannot guarantee she won't go back.

That's because she still believes it's the truth. Someone who has seen the org for what it really is, and has left, can and *will* give you a guarantee that they will not go back. EVER.

I am one that will never go back. But before I learned the truth about the truth, I was very uncomfortable talking to boyfriends (or others) about the (cult) religion. And I did not want to stumble non-jw's who may be interested in studying and/or converting. At that time, if JW's asked about my returning, I would say 'maybe soon I will start attending meetings again'. If a non-jw boyfriend pushed an answer from me about ever returning, I would have given an answer like your girlfriend. Because I believed that at some point I *would* return.

It's a different story/answer for me now. Unequivocally, I guarantee you that I will not return. EVER.

Your girlfriend, I'm afraid, will likely return after she has a baby.

-Aude Sapere (meaning: Dare to Know; Dare to Have Wisdom Understanding; Dare to Think for Yourself)

DesirousOfChange

I would learn some about the religion and then ask her if she's willing to talk about her beliefs. If she's willing to talk and is OK with you showing her some of the facts about the religion and it's lies false teaching etc then great and see where this takes you.

I respectfully disagree with that approach.

You should only ask questions (to which you already know the answers -- we'll help you) and let her try to explain the silly and ridiculous Hocus Pocus of this religion. Explain the dozens of false prophecies for the End of the World. Explain their ridiculous doctrines. Most JWs cannot defend their doctrines because they simply do not know them. They are just following along out of "faith" (really credulity) and enjoying the automatic friendship.

Doc

jwfacts

I have read endless experiences like yours. As soon as there are children the inactive JW partner gets all concerned about the upbringing of the children and Armageddon and goes back to the religion.

Your girlfriend may think she mean what she says, but if she does not know why Watchtower is a cult, then she is always going to be vulnerable to slipping back in. Before you get married or have children I strongly advise insisting that she research the religion and its history, and explain why she knows how it is not a good environment for children. If she refuses, or cannot take criticism of the religion, then you will know she is still suffering the indoctrination and vulnerable to joining again. Triggers will be some tragedy in her life, or having children.

Will my inactive JW bring our children up as a witness?

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