Is good fortune on my side? Wife wants to move.

by ithinkisee 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  ithinkisee

  Those of you that know I am about to tell my wife what I have learned about JWs religion soon. We're talking likely less than a week.

  Anyways, I have in the past couple months dropped hints about moving somewhere else. Our house has literally tripled in value since we purchased 5 years ago, and we bought some property last year that has gone up 600%. We could move to a smaller cute town out of the way, be debt free and possibly mortgage free - depending on our criteria for the town and home.

  So, in the last couple weeks she has been seriously hinting. Man ... if I can just do this right I think we could successfully fade. Really!

  I wouldn't mind DA'ing officially too ... but maybe this is a more gentle way of coaxing my wife away.

  Could the pieces ACTUALLY be falling in place?

  -ithinkisee
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  rebel8

  OMG--that's awesome!! Are you going to do it? Sounds like a perfect way to accomplish your goal. I agree it's a good idea to hold off on the DAing until you save your wife.
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  Crumpet

  Thats fantastic - now just make sure there are no halls within a 50 mile area and the car breaks down for a month and you're sorted!
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  tetrapod.sapien

  hey man,

  ya that sounds nice! glad that you have this extra room to breathe at this juncture in your life. it should help!

  cheerio,

  TS
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  I quit!

  It sounds like a good plan to me. I have often wonder if it would have helped my situation if I had been able to move and get my wife away from her friends and family. It is much easier to stop doing all the jdub things when no one is there looking over your shoulder.

  Good luck.
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  Thegoodgirl

  How great for you! I do hope it all works out. I totally beleive in the moving thing, but beware of those small town congregations... they can be worse than anything! Good luck, you have the perfect excuse to back away from your congo.
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  luna2

  I think that's an excellent idea! It would have been sooooo easy to fade when I moved from IL to CT. Wish I had come to my senses back then. Hope this works for you....the debt-free thing is good too!
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  Check_Your_Premises

  Hey I think.

  Have you been laying the groundwork with her to make her more receptive to criticism of the org? Have you asked her questions that will encourage independant thinking? Have you dealt with the problem of phobias?

  Hope I am not sounding critical. I think you are a smart guy, and you know I admire your work.

  It is just very common to want to go for a knockout blow. This "talk" you want to have with her sounds a lot like that. The big problem with a knockout is if it doesn't work, you will lose her trust, and you will be very dissappointed. If you are anything like me, that dissappointment will turn into aggravation, and finally rage. That rage will only add to the loss of trust you have caused, by making you seem "demonic".

  Moving sounds great!!! I think it is a great idea and will help your fade.

  Just don't shoot your wad buddy!
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  damselfly

  Wow! Being debt free sounds awesome. Hope the talk goes well with your wife. If I had to do it all over again I think that I would go with the fade.

  Damselfly
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  M.J.

  Great going! I really hope this works out! When I moved to a different state I took a real stab at making my wife "see the light" to keep her from going to the new hall by showing her all kinds of damaging info. The problem was I did not prep her for it, did not have her sufficient trust, didn't have any credibility in her eyes with respect to such matters, and still was a relative newbie to the whole thing. It backfired on me just as CYP relates. I realize you have SO much more going for you in ALL these respects than I had, but just thought I'd relate my experience. But I really do wish I had that opportunity again as I would handle it so much better now.