Bitter, Better or Both? (page 2)

sweet tee

I was bitter toward the dubs when I first left because of the shunning. I shunned them back! I haven't had any personal animosity towards individual wits in years. It was probably a bi-product of fear, guilt or shame anyway. It takes time to come to terms with leaving the former way of life behind. Things are so much better for me outside of the b0rg that I don't have time to be bitter. Not at the R&F anyway - the GB is another story though. They irk me. Seriously.

Thinking you're better than someone else is a waste of time. The only person I want to be better than ... is ME .

GetBusyLiving

I'm not bitter at all. I find it fun to joke about them though. I do find I have to emotionally detach myself from some issues in order to just move on with my life.

GBL

mrsjones5

Oh hell yeah...better, much much better but not bitter and I love butter

Wasanelder Once

Bitterness? Bad. Betterness? Beneficial. Don't look back or you'll turn into a pillar of salt, (bitter). Don't look back in anger anyway. Make fun not theology.

That's my philosphy.

Thanks for asking.

W.Once

Doubtfully Yours

I'm in a good place in terms of my own personal development. I've broken free from the emotional/mental domination the WBTS had on me. Now I look at it as just another religion among thousands, with its good, its bad, and its ugly.

I accentuate the good and positive and move on in life with a broader and much more open mind about things and people in general.

I deal with JWs according to the way they individually deal with me. Those that consider themselves too spiritual for me, I let them choose their path. Maybe someday they'll come to their senses, or when they need a favor from me they'll find me. I couldn't care any less about their attitudes.

I'm in good speaking terms with my hubby and my immediate relatives and have a much broader network of friends and acquaintances. That's what really matters to me. Life is good.

DY

logansrun

I think it's helpful to define, as best as possible, what is meant by "bitter." Personally, I don't believe that being a little sad or angry at the JW system is wrong or unhealthy as long as that anger and sadness is not out of control or beyond what one should feel. Bitter, to me, would be seeing the totality of our JW experience as being totally bad and/or useless. It means being overly preoccupied with being an "anti-Witness" in time and energy. It means blaming the JWs -- including the GB -- for everything wrong or inadequate about the JW system without seeing the possible underlying good intentions they have. (I know that is difficult for some here. Personally, I believe the vast majority of JWs, including the "higher up's" are operating out of a sense of what they, mistakenly, feel is right)

In short, "bitter" in my book is being overly angry/sad about the JWs without seeing the good and the underlying reasons as to why the organization exists as it does. (And this touches on human nature which is so incredibly far from ideal). It's essential, in my opinion, to think philosophically and magnanimously about the JWs and our past and present relation to them. Only then can we have a measure of equanimity and peace.

Overall, I'm not bitter -- although I do have my moments!

As for "better" I would say that it depends on the sphere of life we are talking about. I feel far, far more confident about myself and my life choices since leaving the JWs. I feel a tremendous amount of intellectual, emotional and situational freedom since leaving. Those areas are far better. On the other hand, I do miss the strong sense of community and unity of purpose. (These were carried to extremes in the JWs, of course). Humans evolved to be part of a community of between 20 and 100 people (think of a proto-hominid tribe living on the African savannah) and our modern world of hyperindividualism seems to be in conflict with this very human need. So, in that area of life, things are not better for me.

On the whole, though, I feel much better being a former JW than when I was inside the organization.

B.

damselfly

It seems as if most people who responded aren't bitter.

Some days I feel that my upbringing made me better. I don't feel that I would have the values and experiences that make me who I am today without my JW childhood. I mean sure it was really awful at times and yes I had many negative experiences but being free from the org and looking back at my life, it all really came together to make me the strong and emotionally aware and compassionate memeber of society that I am now.

Not that I would want to have to re-live them now

Damselfly

logansrun

damselfly,

Some days I feel that my upbringing made me better. I don't feel that I would have the values and experiences that make me who I am today without my JW childhood. I mean sure it was really awful at times and yes I had many negative experiences but being free from the org and looking back at my life, it all really came together to make me the strong and emotionally aware and compassionate memeber of society that I am now.

That was one of the most mature paragraphs I have ever read on this forum. Yes, the JWs had some posititve impact in our lives beyond being a better public speaker. Even if the worldview they espouse is ultimately wrong, there are ancillary positives that went with this mistake.

Good luck to you!

B.

Es

I def feel better off but there are times that i do feel bitter, especially when a clos friend of mine knew everything i have done in my life since fading, i told her everything and then said that she can decide whether she still wanted to associate with me, she said she had no problems with me and also stated that she too was having major doubts so i discussed this with her.Anyway the nest time i saw her was a few months after that at the Convention and she came over to me and apologised bout that day and that she doesnt feel any doubts bout the truth. That was a year ago and i havnt heard from her at all. So yeah there are days when im bitter but they are now few and far between es

Bitter, Better or Both?

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