witnoid weddings

by katiekitten 36 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  rebel8

  These stories are truly pathetic. I mean, really. How low can people get?

  I have a few more sad and funny wedding stories.

  I went to a potluck reception once. It was held in the veteran's club hall or something patriotic like that. haha I was given the "honor" of putting blobs of potato salad on people's plates while they passed through the buffet. The bro playing DJ kept blasting the music. The elders told him to stop it and he shook his head no. I cracked up laughing. Later he gave a talk that lasted 3x as long as it was supposed to and it was all about music. I enjoyed it greatly, because he was openly rebelling. It was really, really funny. He got DFd soon after that. Of course the dubs claimed he must have been on drugs or have mental illness. Yeah right.

  Next come my escapades as being an almost bridesmaid:

  One of my friends got engaged and I was to be the maid of honor. Then I was fired because one of the bridesmaids had a crush on the best man. The bridal party thought they could get the best man to fall in love with her if they could just get those 2 to walk down the aisle next to each other. I can't explain it really, but they had this odd magical thinking about physical contact, as if the act of walking next to each other arm in arm causes true love. This really hurt my feelings at the time. Anyways, the bride wisened up and righted things. So I was all set to have the best man fall in love with me instead, lucky me (not). Fortunately for her, she later backed out of the wedding altogether. Rebel8's strike 1 at being a JW bridesmaid...

  When my 18 yr old jw friend got married to a much older jw man with pedophilia tendencies, I was supposed to be in the bridal party. Then one day after the Witchtower Study, I was talking to the bride to be and she stopped another sista walking by. She asked her to replace me in the bridal party. No word was even spoken to me directly, it was just said in front of me. I was young at the time and it really hurt my feelings. I was later informed via the grapevine that the groom had a crush on me and wouldn't allow me to be in the wedding. Rebel8's strike 2 at being a JW bridesmaid...

  I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my witless sister's wedding. My mother told me the elders required me to meet with them before allowing me to be in the wedding. (All I could think of is the scandal when one of the Osmond brothers was not allowed to attend his brother's wedding because he hadn't done his Mormon ministry.) The reason: The elders claimed some JW had seen me in a car alone with a man. The man had a beard and I was supposedly smoking. This entire scenario did not happen IRL. I told my mother that but said I refuse to meet with the elders. At this point, I hadn't been going to meetings or in FS for about 7 years. So I was not in the wedding. Rebel8's strike 3 at being a JW bridesmaid...

  Since then, I have been in 2 weddings: my best friend's (non-jw) and my own.
• 

  Wolfgirl

  All the weddings I remember as a teen, I never got to dance. My parents always made sure we left the reception just as the dancing was starting. I think they didn't want me to have fun. Hee-hee! I was so sure that if I could just get such-and-such brother to dance with me, we'd get married. God, how stupid was I?
  
  Then when my sister got married, I was supposed to be her maid-of-honour. But my father did not approve of the person I had just started seeing (as in, we talked on the phone, and went to people's houses in groups together) because he was not yet baptised. So I got kicked out of my sister's wedding, much to my non-JW relatives' anger and dismay. My sister said I ruined her wedding. Not that she could stand up to our father and say she wanted me in the wedding.
  
  No one in my family came when I married my first husband. We got married at the courthouse. No reception. Divorced a year later, coz he was a prick.
  
  My second wedding was in Hong Kong, post-DF. We were living there, and everyone has to get married at the Registrar's office, and then you can have your own ceremony somewhere else and do whatever you want. We just did the Registrar's office with a few friends and my husband's mother, and then we went out for a meal and drinks in Lan Kwai Fong that night. It was great! No stress, no pushy people trying to get THEIR way at OUR wedding. :)
• 

  diamondblue1974

  Yeah what are witness weddings all about?...the elderly sister reception committee get pretty hacked off when you wont let em organise a Jacobs Join reception...never mind what the bride and groom want...its not their bloody weddin is it?...its the congregations!! I had my last (I've only had one) wedding about 100m away from my congregation I attended but the buggers still followed me.

  The marriage might have been crap but hey the wedding was great....or was it?...I cant remember...Ang/Si? can you remember whether the wedding was ok?...I honestly cant remember.

  I do however remember the nudge nudge wink winks very well....I nudged and winked back too but for different reasons....we'd been at it for months before the wedding!!!

  I remember one the older elders from the hall I attended warning me not to drink too much champagne as it makes you impotent!!!....I doubted it very much...it might apply to him after a glass or two of champers but I am not 82 so can down way more than that and be in working order.

  Such fond memories....
• 

  Dragonlady76

  Weddings were the only good times that dubs are allowed to have in public.

  I attended a Spanish cong, and I must say no body throws a better reception than Latin people, our wedding receptions are very lively, with lot's of yummy food, loud music and salsa dancing. Those were great times.

  DL76
• 

  Emma

  Potluck, in a fire hall, square dancing with sweaty brothers ...

  This after sitting through the awful wedding talk - women are the weaker vessel, discussion of her time-of-the-month, respect your husbandly owner, woman to be obedient. I wanted to puke.
• 

  luna2

  One wedding that stands out in my memory was for the daughter of a prominant elder in our congo. She was a seamstress and made her wedding dress as well as the bridesmaid dresses. It was a black and white wedding so the bridesmaid dresses were black, some kind of irridescent material, with huge puffy skirts that required a crinoline, and huge puffy sleeves with a large ruffle adorning the neckline. Most of her attendants were not small girls by any means, so they looked like large, fancy witches as they marched down the aisle. Can't remember how many she had now...at least five I think. The bride (also a big girl) wore a similar style dress in white, of course, but with a larger skirt and more ruffles. Her dress was so big I was afraid she was going to get it snagged on the chairs. The dresses were beautifully made, but way too fussy and funny looking. Oh well. At least the bride was happy with them.

  I didn't bother going to the reception because the last one we went to, by the time we'd deposited our present on the gift table, we found that all the seats were taken. My boys and I stood there for a few minutes feeling self-conscious and unwanted and then left, embarrassed.
• 

  fleaman uk

  ..and the ultimate puke..that dreadful ,dreadful,dreadful song!...heres a clue ...."chords of three strands are stronger,than those of only two.."

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
• 

  Freedom Fighter

  Katie - what a great post - I'm sitting here with the tears running down my cheeks!

  I have been to a few witnoid weddings too. Most of them were done on the cheap so the closet home brewers came into their own with specialities such Chateu de Jah and stuff like that. What was particularly funny was seeing the brothers that couldn't hold their drink - 2 pints and a lot of them were three sheets to the wind followed by the inevitable reproof.

  Also funny was the bride usually being taken aside for a last minute 'pep talk' from their mother, I always tried to eavesdrop but never quite managed it!

  FF
• 

  luna2

  There was one in my CT congregation some years ago between two folks who were in their late 30's and didn't want a big fuss. I was no longer going to these functions because they were all so crowded that I figured I'd leave room for somebody else. As I heard, they had a very modest wedding...I think they only had one friend each stand up with them...and she wore a nice dress or suit, but not a wedding gown. They were obviously trying to keep it very low key and inexpensive.

  Some of the congregation biddies were very disappointed that the couple didn't want a reception at all and were just planning to go out to dinner with their attendants afterwards. Sooooo, as a big, jolly surprise for the newlyweds, a large group of these sisters also made reservations at the same restaurant. When the small wedding party arrived for their nice, private dinner (which they did not want turned into some big "wedding" deal), they were greeted by several tables full of loud, "well-meaning" sisters, who were quite shocked when the bride and groom were less than enthusiastic about seeing them there.

  I guess the bride was really put out even though she put a good face on it. Why can't people mind their own business?
• 

  rebel8

  I was so sure that if I could just get such-and-such brother to dance with me, we'd get married. God, how stupid was I?

  Not stupid really, just brainwashed. See what I mean about the odd magical thinking…touching=true love, LOL

  This after sitting through the awful wedding talk - women are the weaker vessel, discussion of her time-of-the-month, respect your husbandly owner, woman to be obedient. I wanted to puke.

  Oh Gawd. I had forgotten about that. Ewww.

  The pre-wedding sex chats between the parents and bride/groom were hilarious, too.

  they looked like large, fancy witches as they marched down the aisle Chateu de Jah

  LOLOLOL!

  I wish I went to Dragonlady’s congregation. Would have been much more fun. And the food would have been much better!