Do you ever feel guilty?

pratt1

After reading HS topic of shunning, it got me thinking - How many people have I hurt over the years by shunning, marking, labeling as "bad association"?

When I hear the stories of my fellow posters, it really makes me regret how super rightoeus, guillible and judgemental, I was back then, when I had no real life experience or any right to judge anyone elses choices or mistakes in life.

I know I can't change the past, but I am sincerely sorry to anyone I shunned back then and although I know my family will never change their belief in the "troof" I will always make it a point to let them know just how damaging the practice of shunning really is and how it can even lead some one to suicide.

I am sure if I had put a bullet in my head when I was DFed their view on the "troof would be different today.

By the way they never shunned me. "Family Business" clause.

Is anyone else guilty of this?

Purza

Interestingly enough I was thinking about this just this morning. I used to have a JW friend cut my hair. Then she got DF'd and I never went back and neither did the other "sisters" who used to go to her. I am sure that hurt her business somewhat. I felt really bad about doing that.

it really makes me regret how super rightoeus, guillible and judgemental, I was back then, when I had no real life experience or any right to judge anyone elses choices or mistakes in life.

I was a judgmental prick at times and I regret it too. I have gotten in contact with one person and told her how sorry I was for being so judgment. I can't change the past, but I can apologize to anyone out there who had to deal with me.

Purza

ithinkisee

yes. I am not look forward to the guilt-inducing looks I will receive from EVERYONE when I make on my exit. I used to be one of THOSE people that gave the guilty looks.

Also, I will be losing about half my clientele probably when my announcement is public. So if anyone needs a web developer, search engine marketer, database programmer on a contract basis - let me know! (hint hint!)

-ithinkisee

Carol

I usually got in hot water because I wouldn't shun. One of the reasons I left was because I don't feel the WTB&TS should have such control on our lives. I figured if Jehovah saw and knew everything....then I'd just talk directly to him and he's have to judge me accordingly when the time was right...what right did the "Committee" have to sit in judgement?

Sunspot

I most certainly did (and do). It wasn't "my" behavior and I felt awful when I was doing it. It seemed so weird to be all happy and smiley when I would approach people in their yards or doing the business district witnessing, but then turn stone cold when seeing someone I had known for years and ignoring them. It wasn't and isn't natural. Typical of the WTS, nothing normal, typical or natural about them.

Annie

riotgirlpeeps

I never was very good at shunning at all, I remember saying hi and acknowledging dfed people before I ever was.After I was the one time I recall finding it nice to have some people remember you were human.

Ironic now I'm "back" I'm going to blatantly walk, no jcs nothing....

BTW Ithink

Also, I will be losing about half my clientele probably when my announcement is public. So if anyone needs a web developer, search engine marketer, database programmer on a contract basis - let me know! (hint hint!)

Send me a messege in the future I may request your help on some things.

Frog

I'm sure we're probably all guilty of this at one time or other when we were in the org. I think it's important that we take responsibility for our actions and not just state that we were brainwashed dubs. It's important to reconnect with people we've hurt in this way if we can, I'm sure they would be more than understanding, since they themselves probably did the very same thing when they were associated. Frog x

Ellie

I've never shunned anyone but what I have done is drop all my 'worldly' friends for the 'truth', I don't really feel guilty about it as it was years ago but I do regret it and I am still trying to track them all down on Friends Reunited.

vitty

I always tried to be obedient, I really believed that was how I would get salvation LOL

Anyway I did shun a family member, for about 3 years but I must say it affected me more than him. So one day I phoned him apologized and have talked to him ever since. I dont see him often and it is a bit difficult sometimes, cos some of my family are in and some have never been.

I am so glad I made the decision to speak to him before I started fading last year.

My other family members know I speak to him some agreed with me and do talk to him, the die hards dont though.

luna2

Ellie, that was me too! I mostly just dropped my "worldly" friends...which was easy because I'm not a letter writer, there was no internet at the time I even had these friends, and I moved a lot (husband in the military). I started studying with JW's not long after I'd moved back to IL, so I just held back from making new friends who weren't dubs and made no attempt to contact old friends from highschool days.

I think I actually shunned somebody once (mostly I just hid or avoided confrontations...and I would talk to them if it had anything to do with business/work related stuff). That one time left me shaking and slightly sick to my stomach. I guess I was lucky in that I was never close to anybody who got DF'd when I was still trying to live up to all of the WTS rules. A couple of friends that I had in the IL congo moved to other states and were DF'd there, but we never wrote to each other, so I didn't have to force myself to get all high and mighty with them.

Do you ever feel guilty?

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