I had stated before that I escaped a worldly abusive man and went into the 'truth'. I got baptised after a year and then a few young men were approaching me as 'marriage' material. When I think back I was pushed into baptism because it was time, I had been studying 'long enough' as the girl who studied with me said.
The Ministerial servants came to the house 'with the perspective man' in tow. One brought me a plant!!! It was all 'social'. I thought it was odd that a married brother would come to visit me with a single brother! I was sooooooo dumb! I finally picked one (the wrong one I might add).
I was 'divorced' and this young brother was a bit bothered by that, but kept coming around. We became friends and did things together. I found out later that lots of tattle-tails were reporting our every move! Much to their dismay we did NOTHING off color or un-family like. My kids were always around or someone else. Then the visit came from an elder. 'As you know we do not believe in dating unless marriage is the end result'. This pushed us into a fast paced trail to the alter (figuratively speaking)!!! After a 6 month friendship we were told to get engaged or leave each other!!! He was so kind to everyone in the congregation and his brother who was a Bethel brother brought him into the 'truth'. The elders told me that being single was not good for me and that my two children badly needed the dicipline of a dad!!!
Then, of course the good friend of mine did not want to lose me, so he proposed. We talked and talked and this is what he wanted to do. We announced our engagement. Then, 'you guessed it' 6 months later, another visit by an elder. 'As you know we do not believe in being engaged longer than 6 months'. You will need to set a date!!! Mind you we had NOT had sex because it was wrong and we were barely intimate. I felt deeply about this friend and after all, this was the 'truth' and the end was coming and we could go through it together! We announced the wedding date and planned a small civil ceremony. All private and quiet. We went to the Sunday meeting and POW! The whole congregation was there and they planned the reception afterwards and everything! I was not allowed to do anything! They did it all! A few of the brothers were in a band (surprise to me) and they played, and they had invited my family!!! It was NOT a pleasant time at all! Then they gave us gifts of a couple of days away in a hotel in New Hampshire where we could honeymoon!
Well, the honeymoon was horrible, being thrown into this intimate time together..... you guessed it we had to adapt to each other and he was not happy being suddenly 'trapped' as he put it! The marriage lasted 7 years of friendship and one son came of it (from the few times we did have sex). He got disfellowshipped for smoking and I had to remake a new life! He eventually let me know he had done a lot of drugs before going into the JWs and returned to that life and graduated to Cocaine. He is a sickly man now trying to piece his life together and I have moved on. No bitterness, just stating the events.
I look back now, and the 9 years that I was a JW is a fast blurr, thank God! I can't say they were a waste, because I have a wonderful son from that experience who is so loving and loves people and we have a great relationship. None of us are JWs any longer. My kids hated it, and are so glad we got out. When I look back, I wish I had waited and not listened to the elders. I would have been so much stronger without that weight tied around my neck! Seems like they wanted to 'put me in my place' under some brother and out of their hair.
out of the box