by mapleaf18 12 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I guess you have to have been there. . . They were all out of Crisis of Conscience.
It is near to impossible for those who've never been there, to throughly understand.
Crisis of Conscience should be in your library just as the WT bound volumes we used to own. I would not be caught dead without that publication. You'll just have to assume ownership of your recovery from the madness. The only way out, is through that brick wall, with a battering ram, full speed ahead.
Mapleleaf, Welcome, although you aren't new here, but newer than some! Anyway, your BF cannot relate to your
JW upbringing/thoughts anymore than a recovering addict/alcoholic's spouse can understand them. IT IS a
Recovery process. I never was a JW, but have had famly connections with them and that is why I am here.
Believe me, it has to be Totally difficult for anyone who hasn't researched what they are taught in the JW "cult" , to
understand why it affects someone after years of being involved. Don't get pissed at him for getting pissed...he has
a normal reaction to something that, in his mind, makes no sense. Might be good for him to visit this board and
see what others have gone through, then he'd get an understanding of how little things like wrapping birthday packages
affect you. God, when I think of someone suffering over what the 'rest of us' take for granted...family gatherings, churches with crosses, etc. etc. it breaks my heart. Such un-needed stress and anguish!
Hope what I've said makes sense and is helpful,
Auntie Jane
I didn't realize the addiction-dub connection until I went to a free lecture at an alcohol and drug treatment facility nearby. What drew us to the lecture was the topic, which was something along the lines of "Spirituality and addiction" with a subtitle that went something like: "Recovering from religious abuse and addiction."
It was better than any "public talk" I ever heard in a KH, and absolutely pertinent and applicable to our situation. This led to reading and research and we came to the conclusion that we were abused by this high mind control religion and/or that we were responsible for abusing it. The speaker, who was a trained counselor, applied the 12-step program (revised to apply to religious abuse and addiction) to our situation and pointed out the steps on the path to recovery. It was like finding a road map to sanity for us!
I absolutely "buy" the theory that we became dubs because we had a "hole in our soul" that needed filling and that the dub philosophy served that purpose (for a while). But we relied too heavily on it and became addicted/ensconced and lost the ability to move on.
This lecture and the subsequent reading (and tapes) helped us map out an exit strategy and more importantly gave us the courage to seize the freedom we were craving, and entitled to.
