For example, if you and your significant other fight, does any good ever come of it? What about getting 'into it' with your teenagers; is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Does fighting ever yield a favorable outcome?
J
Do you believe that good comes from fighting?
by jeanniebeanz 32 Replies latest social family
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Retrograderenegades
Fighting is one thing debating is another, fighting usually leads to built up negativity. But again it's one thing to sit down and have a civilized discussion with family members instead of screaming at eachother.
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damselfly
A good arguement can clear the air sometimes, as long as it doesn't end on a bad note. I don't like fighting though, it turns petty and hurtful very quickly.
Damselfly
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sf
Ret,
{{ Warm welcome to the forum }} Glad you made it.
Now be careful while yiffing me here:
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!
sKally
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prophecor
Every once in a while, to clear the air, for folks to get an absolute understanding as to any problems that you have with them, a verbal jousting or even a can of whoop ass with words, is essential to getting folks to see where they may need to have an adjustment in their thinking. It's not good to have to resort to the circular arguing that can exist between teenagers i.e., but adults will at times need to have a war with words.
We pussyfoot around with each other, not wishing hurt each others feeeeeeelings...... and thereby extending any difficulties you may have with this person. Feelings, in some instances have to be put aside, in order that there can hopefully be some growth from real problems that we have with people, our loved ones, our children, spouses and yes, even, and sometimes, especially our parents.
To be affraid to confront those we love with the things that bring us pain, will only end in bitterness and resentment for them. When we choose to deny the problems that exist between us, or try to squelch difficulties that are real, but go un-answered, because we're affraid of the confrontation, we risk the greater catastrophe of having our love wax cold for them, while living in the negative energy of our own emotional disturbances.
BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, Ephesians 4:26, 27
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upside/down
Yes...
u/d
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jeanniebeanz
Thanks everyone. Looks like there is some variation of opinion here.
My view is that if couples or families fight, there is the risk of saying something that can never be taken back. If your partner of family member is sensitive to words, this can create a barrier to communication that may never heal.
Although heated debate has its place, fighting that results in insults to the other persons intelligence, sex, or personality is counterproductive.
I had a couple questions...
Fighting is one thing debating is another, fighting usually leads to built up negativity.
Welcome!
That is true in my view. Things do tend to build up on the negative side. I don't know about you, but someone can tell me that I've done something right 10 times, but if they insult me only once, that is often the bitter feeling that I associate with the person. Strange how it works, huh?
A good arguement ; can clear the air sometimes
I agree. However, as you note, arguments can also go south real fast. If you need to have a discussion with a family member that you recognize may turn bad, what steps do you take to calm the waters either before the argument or in the event that it becomes too heated. Do you have groundrules for debate that other family members adhere to? If so, what are they? It would be fascinating to compare notes on the different rules that families use to avoid undue fireworks...
but adults will at times need to have a war with words.
I can see your point, but how do you deal with the consequences of an argument gone south? Do you use "rules of engagement".
Yes...
LOL... Unless this has to do with better sex, how so?u/d
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lowly one
Exodus 15:3 "Jehovah is a manly person of war"..."strong and mighty...mighty in battle...Jehovah of armies..." Psalms 24:8-10
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prophecor
.....how do you deal with the consequences of an argument gone south? Do you use "rules of engagement".
No calling each other out of their name, allow room for each other to air thier grievances, do not interupt so as to attempt to defend yourself, whenever possible, do not reduce the argument to a mere shouting match, in fact, the calmer you strive to be amidst a war of words, the better. A diplomatic stance must be taken as a peaceful means of working out your differences.
When the heats gotten to be too much, know when it's time to go to your neutral corners, with the purpose of coming back to the negotiations table, that very same day. Do not, by any means go to bed in anger. even if you have to go into the next day, resolve your differences before waking up with the same negative energy you went to sleep with
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Golf
From experience, circumstances decides what course you need to take. I could add more but this should suffice.
Golf